Does your wife support your sailing

[Concerto]

My wife suffers from very bad motion sickness. The only time she has been on my yacht was in the locked in basin of Chatham Marina on a calm day. She even complained when I walked from one side of my Fulmar to the other. Even in a car she cannot ride in the back or sit in the front and read anything. So I sail singlehanded and enjoy the challenge of out sailing boats with more crew.

 

[Bathdave]

It was very much a joint decision to buy our boat last summer as part of our retirement plan.

I was concerned that my wife didn't seem quite as keenas me to go out at every opportunity ( isit only blokes that get 'new toy syndrome?).

Our sailing got off to to a slow start this season due to her doing a dissertation but we have had a lot of fun and she is growing in confidence

Picking up a couple of points in other posts, she definitely feels the cold and needs to wrap up warm and she is also suffering a bit from motion sickness

I've realised planning trips carefully to appeal to her preferences is a important part of sailings a couple

 

[westhinder]

I am one of the lucky guys. My wife learned to sail as a young girl and when I told her it had long been a dream of mine, she actively encouraged me to go sailing and helped me over what was a difficult first year. When the occasion to buy our first boat presented itself, the decision to go ahead was taken together, in full agreement. Sixteen years later, all our summer holidays have been spent aboard, the children practically grew up aboard, my son is a keen and good catamaran racer and instructor, my daughter is a keen dinghy sailor and instructor.
My wife is not as passionate about sailing as I am, and less technical, but when things get rough she takes the helm and I can trust her completely. One drawback for her: she gets cold far sooner than I, but we invested in thermals, warm boots and a good duvet.
As I have more time off than she, she is happy for me to go sailing on my own or with friends. She is equally happy to trust me with all the maintenance work on the boat. That way we both feel the balance is right ��

 

[grumpy_o_g]

I follow the sunny weather + short trip theory with my good lady. if I want a sailing blast in windy weather I take a mate who is up to and for it !

I thank you and your ilk Sir. I have had more sailing this year than some of the owners I've crewed with...

 

[William_H]

SWMBO has always been very supportive of my sailing. In the early days she crewed with great courage. It is not a question of cold and wet just terrifying on the little boat especially with spin flying. Eventually she begged off racing due to a lack of agility but occasionally comes out for a pleasure sail. Also in the younger days helped me train kids in dinghies and was a qualified instructor. Now she is the main race officer for keel boats at the club and has done so for 25 years. Even earned an honorary life membership. A huge honour. I can see the day coming when I give up the sailing madness and help her in race management. I think for her it is the lovely people in the club who all respect her abilities that is the attraction.
One thing for sure when introducing a spouse to sailing is to do it very carefully and gently with no surprises or dramas. olewill

 

[charles_reed]

26 years ago, when I bought my 3rd boat, my wife asked me to get one that I could sail single-handed. She felt the responsibility on her was too great when I fell overboard.
I've still got that boat, originally designed for the 1st Single Handed Round Britain race. I've done about 35K nautical miles, with no oceanic passages and she'd be the first to agree that the boat has proved a "magic carpet" for both her and me to see some of the sights of Europe.
She spends about 6 weeks a year (to my 6 months a year) on the boat, providing we don't sail any distance.

I think her attitude is one of suffering my sailing rather than "supporting" it.

As to children, two boys who, from the age of 7/9, regularly crossed the Channel in a 22' sailboat with an OB, seemed to thoroughly enjoy it, but have grown up (old) with no further interest in sailing.
My daughter thinks it's dangerous and expensive, despite endless detailed financial proof that it's less expensive than living in retirement in the UK. Mind you it's impossible to change the female professorial mind.
She certainly doesn't provide any financial support for the boat.

 

[michael_w]

You have to choose wisely.

20 years of being an item, 8 boats, innumerable races, 2 x Atlantic Circuits, with the prospect of another long trip soonish. SWMBO is the weather wizz too.

 

[Sybarite]

You have to choose wisely.

20 years of being an item, 8 boats, innumerable races, 2 x Atlantic Circuits, with the prospect of another long trip soonish. SWMBO is the weather wizz too.

SWMBO is from a land-locked country and is not a natural sailor. However she has always been a keen angler. Therefore, we don't go sailing, we go fishing....

With the added attraction of catching more than when wading in a stream.

We heave to to bring the fish on board. It's good practice. In fact the biggest mackeral we caught was when broad reaching at more than 7 knts.

 

[Toutvabien]

Interesting variety of experience here, my good lady wife has grown to be reasonably enthusiastic about our sailing activities but had never sailed when we first met 25 years ago, now she has about 15000 miles, including an Atlantic crossing, under her belt and when I was unwell a few years ago she helped one of our mates bring the boat back from Cork to Dartmouth during a very breezy and chilly April.

Looking back and talking to her about it all it is clear that building up her confidence gradually, particularly listening to her anxieties about weather conditions and not setting off on a passage if she was not comfortable to do so, was important. At an early stage we agreed on a strict no shouting policy that we have (almost entirely) managed to maintain. When our children were very young we always planned the sailing trips with them in mind, shortish trips with beaches and adventures as part of the deal, and this helped a lot in keeping everybody "on board" but meant that I had to curtail some of my more adventurous sailing ambitions for a while. We got to a point when our twin daughters were 9 that we all agreed to take a year off of work and school and do an Atlantic circuit, which was enormous fun, for a year. As we are now approaching the point where the children are looking to go off to University etc. we are now starting the planning for our next long term cruise. I really enjoy sailing with Mary and we have got to the point where the teamwork on the boat is pretty good, routine stuff gets done without much discussion and when we need to make a significant decision we usually manage to sort it out fairly amicably, (as long as I do what she tells me).

 

[Metabarca]

I'm lucky too. My wife doesn't like sailing: doesn't understand the technicalities and so gets bored, although she likes the camping aspect when at anchor. But it was her to encourage me to buy a boat, and has been incredibly supportive about my spending zillions on refurbishing it, even though it means less travelling, which she loves. We bought when the market was high and now have a boat worth substantially less and on which we have spent loads, but she says better to lose money than to get old and regret never having done something when one had the chance. Pure gold!

 

[Sticky Fingers]

... she says better to lose money than to get old and regret never having done something when one had the chance. Pure gold!

:encouragement: Perfect attitude I'm thinking, do it before you're too old to enjoy it