Daft thing you've done ---- while sailing / on boat !

Friend went agound on hayle bar, raging ebb tide, so after not many minutes he and his crew were able to leap over the side with scrubbing brushes, whistling nonchalantly all the while.
 
lentenrose versus a BP tanker the british esk----trawling in the solent on a very clear night i see a a large ship about 1/2 mile coming towards me on an absolute dead straight bow to bow collision course----it gives 2 hoots turning to port but the nav lights show that it is turning to starboard-----i alter course to starboard but then it does alter course to port but i am commited-------when you are side trawling the wires and pull on the boat are on the starboard side which gives you very easy turning to starboard but slow limited tuning to port------we are now very close----the ship is coming to anchor at a couple of knots and i am coming down on the tide at a couple of knots broadside-----i took the brakes off the winches and i am under the bows ship looking up to see whether it will hit my mast or catch me with its under water beak when the last of trawl wires pay out over the side and i shoot forward to safety-----i went to see the pilots afterwards and there was lots of humming and haaring and looking at feet ----- --- next day-the british esk had gone ----i used a creep to find the trawl wires -----took about 10 minutes which cheered me up as it was all done by visual marks no electronics------i then had to hand haul a wire up ---took a bout 20 minutes---- being alone there was no way i could stop until i had an otter board jammed behind the gunnel----whilst i was doing this it started snowing heavily----sods law the only time i have been to sea in a white out i am drifting down the sdlent near the shipping lanes
 
1973, mackerel handline fishing. I was sat on the engine box, carefully coiling a jigger, 20 hooks/feathers on mono nylon, round my fingers.....the other end caught in the jabsco deckwash belt drive, it all went very tight very quickly. Lot of these stories seem to have associated scars.
We had a crewman who wouldn't be told about waving the hooks round his head as he shook the fish off, til one day he went quiet for a moment, then with a very nasal voice "Got a hook in my nose". The hook had gone in the side, the point was down inside the nostril, the 2lb lead weight was hanging on it; we dropped him onto a local boat that was only 20 minutes from going in. The doctor he saw was a foreign gentleman who made to pull the hook out. "No! It's got a barb on it"
"What is barb?"
He drew a picture, the Doctor asked for pliers.
You'd think he would have been more careful after what happened to his uncle: out shore angling, standing behind his mate as he cast out a spinner and put it through his earlobe. He had to walk home with the spinner whizzing round in the breeze.
 
Already related a less than sensible decision to go two handed trawling with Mad Mitch. Not long before, he had hit the quay, he was another flat out or stopped merchant, and the stem was knocked in, deck sprung up, recently repaired and back to, as he said, lloyds A1.
So we left Flushing after landing, I shouted back, "left the boxes behind" the wheel went hard over and the throttle flat out
this boat, 55ft, 160 hp Poyaud 5:1 g/b
Llamedos - PH 32 - Trawler Photos Gallery

We were heading for the quay at many knots, however many tons, about 40ft away the engine shut down and we waited for the whine that said the gearbox had engaged reverse....waited.......waited.....whine and instant full revs, the stern went up, the water boiled under the hull, I stood on the recently repaired stemhead and we got to a foot away as she stopped and I stepped lightly and nonchalantly onto the quay.

I lived aboard at times. One day I wanted to fettle the front brakes on the car, so I parked it on the edge of the quay, Penryn, tidal, and hitched the Gilson to it, started the engine and picked the front of the car up, the boat rolled in slightly, then out, so I had the car, back wheels on the quay, front hanging over the boat, tide receding and limited use of engine. I had to wait til she settled, strop it off over the low water, and veer away the gilson topping lift to slowly push the car back when she floated again. You live and learn......
 
Refueler said:
We've all had those moments when its as if brain is just not engaged ... and you just cannot figure out how you were daft enough to have done it ...

Let me start by the departure from Ventspils Port for 2011 baltic Cruise (I've already covered the mast damage on town wall) ....

There's Steve and myself slipping out through the breakwaters into the Baltic ... we know the Ferry is on its way out as well and we look back to see it appearing ... no worries she will pass well clear ...

Steve and I ... both looking aft ... tillerpilot keeping her steady .. BANG ..... WHAT THE ******* as we see the main fairway buoy bumping down the port side ...

Up on deck to survey the damage ... all looks ok ... slight dent in pulpit ... but all seems well.

Evening falls and I switch on nav lights ... I have small pinholes in my sidelights so I can see when they are actually working ... nothing from port ... I go up and look .. no light !! Only the back plate. Buoy must have smashed it.
On arrival at Farosund - I buy a pair of lights (cannot get one !) and fit them.
Click to expand...
Refueler said:
We've all had those moments when its as if brain is just not engaged ... and you just cannot figure out how you were daft enough to have done it ...

Let me start by the departure from Ventspils Port for 2011 baltic Cruise (I've already covered the mast damage on town wall) ....

There's Steve and myself slipping out through the breakwaters into the Baltic ... we know the Ferry is on its way out as well and we look back to see it appearing ... no worries she will pass well clear ...

Steve and I ... both looking aft ... tillerpilot keeping her steady .. BANG ..... WHAT THE ******* as we see the main fairway buoy bumping down the port side ...

Up on deck to survey the damage ... all looks ok ... slight dent in pulpit ... but all seems well.

Evening falls and I switch on nav lights ... I have small pinholes in my sidelights so I can see when they are actually working ... nothing from port ... I go up and look .. no light !! Only the back plate. Buoy must have smashed it.
On arrival at Farosund - I buy a pair of lights (cannot get one !) and fit them.
Click to expand...
Night passage Chichester to Dover.
Clear sky.
Two fishing boats 2 miles ahead.
Me and son's watch.
One crew below.
'Crikey, where the hell did that orange buoy come from' - it just ahead.
Were we really going into the end of a drift net ? !
Away on the horizon a full beautiful moon popped up and the buoy disappeared !
 
Praxinoscope said:
get out the bucket on its length of rope leaned over the leeward side and dropped the ucket into the Britney to get some water, the sudden force of a full bucket of water trying to keep up with a boat travelling at 6kts is impossible to visualise, it was only by pure luck that the rope slid very quickly through my fingers otherwise would have followed it and the bucket. Red face, rope burns and one lost bucket fortunately were the only casualties. I still don't know what even possessed me to even think of doing this let alone even doing it.
Click to expand...
Missed this: crewman I know did this, rope wrapped round his fist and over he went. Due to the fairly intimate nature of his need for the bucket it was a while before he was missed, they turned back, reciprocal course on the plotter, and found him using the upturned bucket for buoyancy. Took twenty minutes, lucky chap.
Top tip: when dipping a bucket, or handing any rope which might go tight with awkward consequences, even a boisterous dog's lead, put your thumb through a bight, and hold both parts in the fist, you can drop it instantly.
My mate lowered a very heavy bin of bait down off the quay, I didn't know he had a turn round his fist as he paused it on the rail, I swung it down to the deck and he came down behind it, about 12 feet and him a big lad, lucky not to break a leg...or go through the deck, he landed on the engine housing so the load was well spread.
 
oooh, I never gamble...... bit later on I'll tell you about fishing/gambling. Busy fighting slugs in the garden right now.
Lockdown lunch: focaccia from my mates artisan bread stall round the corner, sardines from last year's trip to St Guenole, Kern, (Welcome to Lynher Dairies - award winning cheesemakers from Cornwall) local Cornish hard cheese, every bit as good as Le Comte, Tesco wine because the Constantine stores (Constantine Stores | Cornwall's Goldmine for Booze Enthusiasts | The Cornish Life | Cornwall Lifestyle Blog) order hasn't come yet. Not looking forward to 'normal' after this.
 
I put some tins of paint, thinners and adhesives into a locker a couple of days ago because I was flow coating the inside of their usual space.

I had sailed twice since then, but in pretty mellow conditions.

So I went for a singlehanded sail today, out of Shoreham. It was becoming quite breezy so I was getting a rail under occasionally for a short while before I reefed and then eventually furled the genoa and popped up the staysail. The autopilot was misbehaving a little towards the westernmost part of my sail, such that I eventually gave up and set sail for home.

Then the autopilot started to get really recalcitrant, randomly allowing the boat to yaw madly, steering left when it needed to go right, and maintaining an indicated fixed heading while actually circling.

Off Littlehampton the service batteries had dropped so low (the club is being rebuilt and I currently have no access to mains) that I'd had to fire up the motor just to charge the batteries, so I thought that maybe the fluxgate had lost its settings (my Raymarine is prone to this - every time I switch it on I have to tell it that it is connected to a sailboat and that I want it in English.) So I went through the whole rigmarole of thing to recalibrate the thing which was not particularly successful. Unsurprising really given that there were 1m waves & white horses and this is supposed to be done in a flat calm with no wind.

Just to be annoying I found that my half full tank exposes the pick up to air when heeled hard to starboard, resulting in the motor stopping and refusing to self-bleed.

Cutting a long story short I gave up and hand steered for home. About three miles from base I went under bare poles for a few minutes to bleed the motor, which responded quickly thank goodness and I motored the last bit in as I didn't fancy messing about with the sails without the autopilot keep her from going beam on.

While sat at anchor in the outer basin waiting for the tide I started looking for the fluxgate to check for loose connections or whatever. Eventually I found the thing approximately on the centreline of the boat hidden deep inside the locker into which I had recently put the tins. The high angle of heel had encouraged them to slide to the end of the locker beneath the hidden fluxgate and evidently they were further sliding about now and then just to add to the amusement!

Still, at least it was calm enough inside to redo the calibration properly and I found the 'beware compass' sticker in the manual so that is now stuck over the offending article...
 
Couple of chaps went longlining about 14 m se of Falmouth. On the way home, fog, cup of tea, tin mug next to compass. Picked up late next day out of fuel S of Plymouth. Fortunately they had fish to eat.
 
I heard a similar story involving a new crew member who was very pleased with his recent purchase of a magnet bracelet for rheumatism, but neglected to tell anyone.

And had a similar issue with my tiller pilot. It wasn't holding course very well. Then I went forward to prepare lines and fenders and there was a distinct alteration of course. I came back and the course altered back. Further investigation revealed that my beloved German Army knife had become quite strongly magnetised...
 
I spent 3 days wondering and wandering through the CIs and N Brittany before I realised that I was using a 2 year old atlas and Tide tables!
 
I've been an innocent victim of it twice. It wasn't me that put the brixton blaster under the compass on a foggy return from Sark to StPP - but it was me that should have spotted it. Saved from hitting Herm by killer whales, but that's another story. And it wasn't me that put my Son's laptop on the top of his cabin locker in which the autopilot's sensor lived. It took a while for the penny to drop on that one because it was fine on stbd tack.
 
Mudisox said:
I spent 3 days wondering and wandering through the CIs and N Brittany before I realised that I was using a 2 year old atlas and Tide tables!
Click to expand...

900 ton coaster ... we rec'd orders to load a cargo of Fish Pulp. The loading was designated as in a small harbour on NW coast of Ireland. We received the orders when we sailed from last discharge port - so no chance to get a chart ! This was a Coaster that never did West Coast ... nearest we ever got was Cork.
We sent message to office and they said they would get Pilot Boat to deliver a chart on arrival outside harbour .....

I don't know what message they got - but we arrived and no pilot. We VHF'd the station we'd been advised to call ... they just said - don't worry - just head on in ... we'll meet you inside ! No chart of course.

We'd got there by using the Chart catalogue which of course was School Atlas stuff ....

Myself and the Master discussed it ... then decided what the hell ... so it was slow slow edge our way in with AB on bow looking over ! We edged round rocks ... islets ... and finally saw the old army pontoon in the harbour ... we'd been talking on the VHF describing our track and they in typical Irish style gave us long stories about what happened with last vessel etc. But they gave us directions amongst it all and we managed to get alongside the pontoon. It was basically what the Engr's used to create floating bridges.

Cargo ? It rattled and banged as it came onboard through the pipelines ... we reckon there was not only fish pulp but all other sorts of chopped up animals ...
Technically it was 'sterile' pulp food for Norwegian Mink Farms. Boy did it stink !!
 
Calm day off beach in south Lanzarote. One other boat at anchor.
Me: whereabouts is your anchor?
Him: just there below you.
At which point I try to drop mine directly on to his!
Him: No! No!
Me: Oh.
Moved away, dropped anchor and then swam over to apologise. Thankfully, he was understanding. Still never quite worked out why I did that.
 
Tilley lamp and meths starter, which needed more meths, which comply re ignited.
Resultant Hand- The Hand.jpg

Never again

Mind you I have always thought experience is based on things that have gone wrong - Malcolm Robson described piloting in the CIs as "Rocks I have hit"
 
From an interview with a laconic millionaire:

"So, Mr Rich, How were you so successful when others lost everything?"

"Good decisions"

"OK, but how do you make good decisions?

"Experience"

"Yes, but what experience?"

"Bad decisions"

Not very different on the water, really.
 
There is a rock at Porthigga, near Hayle called, by me, tap tap, took two swells to get over it. For a similar reason a rock near The Lizard is called 'kiss me ass rock'.
 
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