Convince girlfriend to cruise

[jj1]

I'm looking to convince my girlfriend that she does in fact, contrary to her stated beliefs want to cruise around the Solent and Channel Islands for the next few years and eventually sail further afield, if the initial initation goes well. It is the further afield bit that I believe is causing the most problems at the moment.

I would like to get something for under 10k which will be completely solid in the worst weather here in the Solent and channel. Also I think a seperate heads is a small priority.

A Contessa 26 seems to be the boat that keeps cropping up the most from reading the previous discussions on solid first boats. However, is the Contessa 26 worth the price premium? Achilles 24 or Hustler 22 seem to go for a lot cheaper and although the Achilles doesn't have the separate heads the average 6k price difference I have seen on the web seems to be a plus. Has anyone had any experience convincing a loved one that cruising is the way to go on a budget, and while on that budget, what boat were you able to convince them with?

Thanks for any input,

 

[JeremyF]

Hmm, a common problem with girlfriends and wives. The key is not the boat you buy, but how much you scare them. Avoid fog and strong winds at all costs! 2 years ago fog in the Solent early September caused a 'find someone else to sail with' response.

Don't sail for too many hours each day. Stop off in marina's with decent showers. Take the occasional day off for sightseeing. Take her out for dinner every two days. With this approach, you shouldnt have too many problems. The cost mounts however when you get demands for Carribean holidays at Easter, 'cos of the 'bloody sailing' in the summer!

Jeremy Flynn

 

[ccscott49]

She will either like boats or loathe them, there is nothing you can do about it!

 

[tonyg]

My advice would be,- tell them nothing, just get your boat, get them aboard and pretend everything is supposed to happen that way and is part of the enjoyment. When, last year I bought our present boat,- an open 17' gaffer and persuaded my wife to sample the delights of sailing in the shadow of Fastnet, she found the whole thing exhilerating, even having to sail under jib alone with most of the atlantic wanting to join us on board was a source of constant delight to her. She didn't notice the white knuckles and eyes like saucers, and moaned at the dullness when some days only a force four was evident.
This year I've converted her(the boat) to a gaff cutter yawl and we'll see if the enjoyment continues. I should add that my wife is nearer seventy than sixty,and I'm sure glad she doesn't read this forum. Good Luck! TonyG

 

[rogerroger]

I have some female friends who've stepped aboard a boat I'm skippering and instantly loved sailing. Unfortunately my own fiancee is completely different and tolerates it at best.

The thing that gets her even remotely interested is to consider the boat an extension of the home. Give her freedom as far as possible in chosing stuff for the boat and sorting things out down below the way she likes them.

Avoiding strong wind and fog etc isn't always easy. My rule of thumb is never take her out in more than an F4, good vis and moderate sea state. She wasn't too happy last summer when, despite such a forecast, off Start Point we heeled over so much my knees were under water while standing at the mast to put a 2nd reef in!

Good luck - you'll get some great advice here I'm sure...

Roger Holden
www.first-magnitude.co.uk

 

[ccscott49]

If you want to continue sailing, it might be a good idea to change girlfriends!! No, I'm only joking, but I had the same problem, gave up boating for 12 years, SWMBO didn't like it, when I was married, got divorced, bought a boat again, never looked back, I will not give up sailing for anybody, apart from God maybe!

 

[jimi]

That's the spirit! I've also spent too many years pandering to the fairer sex. Now I'm older & wiser I know they just take advantage! Tell them how it is and they can like it or lump it!


Now that should provoke a few responses .... luckily SWMBO can't read or I'm in trouble .... oh dear ... I really really am ....

 

[ccscott49]

I will still pander, but only if my wishes and hers are the same!!! I don't have a SWMBO, I wonder why!!

 

[Guest]

Thought of a Multihull?

I'm Lucky, I have a girlfriend who activly encorages me to sail and even anitfouled the boat whilst I painted the topsides (in last weekends foul weather in Poole).

But in answer to your question, have you considered a multihull?
A nice one to go for is a Hirondelle, 22 foot I think, but enormous inside, with separate heads, fast (10knots) and stable.

You could pick one up for between 6-12 K, the only downside is the extra cost of marina charges etc, usually charge 1.5x the normal rate.

Regards

Sean

 

[Guest]

There is a serious problem with limiting it to warm places and sunny weather, choosing a boat which has as its best feature the accommodation, visiting marinas frequently and doing short hops. She may decide that that is normal, that is the kind of sailing that she likes and that she hates sailing in British waters/in anything above a F3/anywhere there isn't a shower/on a boat with more 'normal' size accommodation.

IMHO there is a lot to be said for the alternative, TonyG approach. Give her a challenge. Try to stop her from always being No.2 on board. Encourage her to go to sailing school/do yacht deliveries/charter as skipper without you so that she has some experience that you don't have.

Perhaps the next most important point is to avoid boats with voluminous accommodation. Make sure that she has low expectations in terms of interior space. I am very proud of the way that mine snorts "what a lot of wasted space!" at other, more tubby, boats.

The other critical point is seasickness. She is unlikely to enjoy it if she is chundering her guts up. Find ways to combat it (a whole subject in itself).

So much depends on her individual character, of course. On the one hand there are adventurous, adaptable girls, and on the other hand there are the others. There is probably only one way out with the latter.

 

[Guest]

Buy a marine grade blow up doll !

Women are geared up to make life comfortable for us and the family. Only one in every 1000 is different to this when it comes to sailing - believe me ! Most like boats that only come with engines that preferably float on inland waterways and can be made to look like a garden centre !

I hope I am totally wrong in you're case - but I doubt it.

 

[rich]

my mate just got a new failine 40 targa, he showed his wife, the 40 than took her to see a 30ft, bingo! she liked the 40 footer gave him permishon to buy it lucky sod....

rich )

 

[ccscott49]

I don't need anybodies permision, thats the point I tried to make before, niether does your mate.

 

[phanakapan]

I agree with simonc. I love the fact that my boyfreind and I take turns to be skipper, that we've done the same courses, that I'm a bit better than him at navigation,that we challenge each other to solve problems. Ok, I'm the sort of woman who is prepared to rough it, and for some bizarre reason I preferred 2 weeks on a leaky folkboat in a very windy Solent last year to the greek flotilla we did. I think it is ok to do some "nice, safe" sailing at first, though-we both scared our selves witless on our first sail ever-force7 in a racing yacht and very nearly never went again. By the way everybody- save me doing a search-seasickness remedies-ideas please?please!! The patches we get from our doctor make us high as kites(quite fun really) but other solutions gratefully received. Another thought- although I'm not a homemaker type, I cant wait until we have a boat of our own, that is our space, and not his house or my house.

 

[Guest]

hi, pretty snple really, chose which ever boat you want then find the women. The boat is no doubt the hardest part.

Seriously. My stepmother is, or was, very afriad of sailing during darkness. This was untill myself and dad decided to go the whole hog. during the middle of my watch we had agreed to both say we were both to tierd to go on any further. So frightened of being run down by a tanker, she hoped up into the cockpit and took charge for the next 8 hours! Obviously closey guarded by our "asleep" selves. Every since then she has been more than willing to get involved. The simple answer is this. Women love to be in charge of difficult situations. Let them be.

 

[Guest]

Re seasickness I guess there's no one answer, unfortunately. But taking a whole load of strategies together it can be managed. Here's my personal checklist:-

1. The patches you mention I find are great for longer trips. High as a kite is better than seasick, though I guess different people react in different ways. Both my wife and I find they make it hard to focus on small print, and for the first day we're unsteady on our feet (on dry land), and get dry throats. Compared to seasickness that's nothing. A friend of a friend is a US Navy Captain and he relies heavily on them (during storms).

For me, taking Stugeron is a sure way to guarantee throwing up, if only because my stomach is desperate to get rid of it. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. There are of course alternative drugs to experiment with.

2. Food - avoid fatty foods for a good 12 hours before, and during sailing. Painfully enough, that means laying off bacon sandwiches. Make sure that there is a steady supply of non-fatty food handy in the cockpit to stop hunger setting in. Yoghurts, apples, Nutrigrain bars, bread are all good. Best of all, is hot food. If setting off for a voyage of 12 hours or more or doing a long night watch, prepare a big thermos flask of hot soup beforehand. Preferably also a separate one with tea.

3. Water. Drink a small amount of water regularly. Don't drink full cups or the weight in your stomach may make you feel funny. I make a point of drinking a handful of water every time I pass the galley sink.

4. Rest. If you set off for a longish trip when you are tired, your brain will become befuddled quickly and you will become sick. Later on you'll get tired anyway, but don't start off like that during the getting your sealegs phase at the beginning. If sailing through the night, make sure that everyone is in their bunk except whoever is on watch. A common mistake if doing say a 24 hour passage is for everyone to sit in the cockpit during the day. We keep the watch system going day and night to maximise resting time.

5. Clothing. Don't let yourself get wet and cold. Make sure that a big supply or warm clothing can be reached from the cockpit.

6. Why not try the traditional remedy of ginger, like Nelson? Don't know if it works, but it's worth a try.

7. Things will improve. If you're around on the boat for a few days/weeks/frequently then you'll become more accustomed to the motion and less vulnerable. Try spending more time at anchor rather than in a marina. The rolly motion to some extent can help you to get your sealegs while you're asleep. Obviously that's not recommended in a really rolly anchorage, where you'll be heaving your innards up anyway. Try to avoid doing lumpy wind-over-tide passage as your first of the season. If possible arrive on the boat a day or two before starting a cruise, giving you time to acclimatise and provision.

8. If things get on top of you, heave to for a while. The motion will suddenly become bearable. Put the kettle on, make hot food, use the heads, take reefs in, deal with any problem that is causing you anxiety. Carry on when you're ready. Driving blindly on with the feeling that things are out of control causes stress that causes sickness.

9. Being prepared. Reading below is one of the things that can bring it on. Navigation has to be done, but in some ways you can minimise the burden. Make sure you have the relevant charts ready and open in the right place before you set off, pencil, parallel rulers etc. ready to hand. My logbook and pencil are in a special holder next to the companionway so they can be filled in from the cockpit. Paper Navtex beats electric read out because you can tear it off and read it in the cockpit rather than fiddling with buttons below. Make sure that everything that you are going to need is in a handy place in the cockpit to hand before setting off to minimise scrabbling around in lockers below: hand bearing compass, torch, lifelines and lifejackets, oilies, food etc. etc.

 

[chrisc]

Re: I,m a bit p*****d off

yesterday my wife and I both did an offshore exam
and she got more points than i did.She will now insist
on being skipper.....
mind you it was in her native language but not mine.
maybe she should only be skipper in sweden ?

 

[Trevethan]

My wife looks at our boat as a potential sunbathing platform/private area to swim etc. Make sure the boat has enough deck space to allow her to do this, and adjust your course according so she isn't in the shadow of the sail.

Imaginary conversation


Wife: "Your blocking the sun with the sail, turn the boat the other way."
Me: "But honey we need to go in that direction"
Wife "Fine turn around and drop me off at the marina and you can go wherever you damn well want!"
Me " Ready about"

Another great tactic is to take her along to the local yacht club and let her see all the cute 18-22 year old girlies that would jump at the chance of sailing off to the channel islands with you....

 

[Gordon]

thats a good one

 

[Trevor_swfyc]

Take her on a two week sailing holiday in Greece. Took the wife last year to the Ionian she loved it eating out each night, 30 centigrade + , Blue skies, Blue water and to top it good company all in a 40 footer (yacht).
Since then I suggest lets go shopping for clothes or even just window shopping she refuses insisting we out out in the boat again.
PS never mention to a woman about wanting to go further, not a good move!
All the best
Trevor