'Captain calamities'

[snowleopard]

We've all heard about them in the press. Have you ever met one?

We met one in Peterhead in 2000. We heard the lifeboat maroon as we were sitting in the marina and saw the lifeboat come in a few hours later towing a 25 footer in pretty poor shape. We invited the owner on board and he told us his story.

He had bought the boat in October and,despite no knowledge of sailing decided to head for the Med via Gibraltar. The first day out it had been rough, in fact we had come in to shelter from the same conditions in our 40 footer. He had been chest-deep in water in his cockpit at times but carried on. Eventually he decided to call it a day and ran the boat up on a beach. In the process he lost his rudder but when he re-floated on the next tide he decided he could carry on by steering with his outboard. After a while the outboard fell off so he called for a lifeboat. He seemed to regard it in much the same way as one might call the AA. The final straw was that he couldn't even read his position off the GPS correctly and the worng lifeboat was sent out. They eventually found him off Aberdeen.

Despite his experiences he was still fully confident in his ability to head off across Biscay in late autumn. He seemed to be like most of the others we hear about - not only did he not know anything about navigation or seamanship but he seemed totally unaware there was anything he needed to know. Of course he had total confidence in his own abilities.

Ever met anyone like that?

 

[jimi]

I met one chap who'd just bought his first boat which had radar and had never done any navigation ever. The guy he bought it from had demo'd the radar to him and he was in the process of motoring backby RACON buoy hopping from Largs to Portsmouth. I met him in Ardrossan. I thought he'd have potential to develop into CC, I tried to give hime some quiet words of advice but his attitude was "I'll get the boat back and then learn".He was single handed on a 35ft motorsailor.

 

[AntarcticPilot]

A VERY long time ago, at the Southampton Boat Show, we overheard someone who clearly didn't understand that the sea varied in depth, and that in places it might be too shallow for a boat to sail!

 

[Sgeir]

Your post started me wondering about who was the original Captain Calamity. Turms out there was a 1936 film comedy of that name. Anyone here seen it?

 

[ColdFusion]

I'd just started my Dayskipper theory at night school and was getting to know the others. One chap said he already had a motorboat but then sheepishly confessed to having lost count of the number of times he'd run aground. His wife was refusing to go out on the boat with him again and enrolled him on the DS course. He attended for the first few weeks and we all knew that maths wasn't his strong point, despite trying to help. When we got as far as secondary port calculations he stopped attending. I don't know if he sold the boat or got divorced, but we never saw him again.

A few years ago - maybe 2002ish - we were about ten miles north of Anglesey when we noticed a mobo of about 35' coming towards us at speed. Slowing down at what seemed like the last moment the 'driver' bellowed over, "which way is Beaumaris?" A bearing was shouted back and he sped off into the distance.

Then there was a chap called Eric with a boat called VAT Free (or something like that) who had to be rescued numerous times within a few months. The Sun newspaper paid for a week's training but I have it on very good authority that he jumped ship after a couple of days saying that he couldn't stand being told what to do.

 

[Seajet]

We once met a young family in St Helier, with a tatty old twin screw motor boat.

To be fair, the husband did come and ask for nav' advice.

Then we heard the story; he sometimes went out with fishing chums, so he 'knew' - " Guernsey is over there " - pointing at the entire horizon from Plymouth !

Navigating solely by elderly radar, which packed up when over N'ly F4 picked up.

They found themselves running and hoping; and the large land mass which appeared was not Guernsey, but N.Brittany.

The French Navy spotted them and dragged them into port, very luckily.

After a stiff talking to, in a day or two he was told, " now for Guernsey, steer XXX, gettit ?! "

So they set off on this course; after a few hours an island appeared to starboard.

Hubby thought " so that's it, the compass is off " and went straight for it ( shudder ) .

He later found his lines were actually made fast to Jersey...

He came in company with us and the usual stream of boats to Guernsey, during which time one engine failed.

He had wife & 2 young children aboard; and when after a long delay I wrote asking for the return of the spare waterproofs & compass, charts we had lent him, he became quite uppity.

 

[Baggy]

Ive seen this so many times,
why oh why do ....
peeps jump into there tenders cast of then try to start there out boards.. at woodbridge on sunday strong winds a tide begining to run, a couple of lads could not start there outboard, no oars visible, so off they drifted down the river, mans arm moving like a fiddlers elbow

If I only had a penny every etc.....

 

[Lakesailor]

not only did he not know anything about navigation or seamanship but he seemed totally unaware there was anything he needed to know. Of course he had total confidence in his own abilities.

Ever met anyone like that?

You called?

 

[peterb]

Met someone once in Ramsgate who was moving his boat from the South Coast round to Bradwell. When I asked which route he was taking across the Thames Estuary, he said that he was just going to go on a direct compass course from North Foreland, and couldn't see that there might be any difficulty.

 

[Sans Bateau]

We once new a chap, he kept his boat in the same drying boat yard as us. We kept our boats on a jetty that dried out about 3 metres above the mud. Our 'friend' regularly would come back from a days sailing and despite being 'advised' just plain forgot and would tie his boat up nice and tight with short warps and go home. Come low water his little boat would be hanging from its cleats clear of the ground!

 

[electrosys]

I met a guy once - on t'internet - who was coming to the end of a trawler-yacht build. Typical German approach to the engineering side of things - had precision bearings and seals instead of a plain cutlass bearing - that kind of thing. Built like a bl##dy Swiss watch.

Struck up a conversation with him about navigation, and charts in particular. He had a child's World Atlas, and intended to use that on a round-the-world caper. At first I thought he was kidding - but no - he kept referring to the great navigators: Magellan and Cook and the like, and reckoned he was better of than them with his Atlas.
I tried to reason with him and even offered him a knock-off world folio to use on a laptop - but he scorned the idea. As he was oblivious to any of the dangers I raised, I mentioned the Traffic Separation Zones and the financial penalties for breaking the rules. "So what's a Traffic Separation Zone ?" was the reply. It was at that point I gave up.

It's not so much "dont' know" - it's more a case of not even knowing that you don't know - i.e. that there's anything out there to know about in the first place.

Ignorance is indeed truly bliss.

 

[starfire]

Reminds me of the time in Cornwall.

Bit foggy, so was doing a few jobs on board & listening to the chatter on 16.

Plummy voice called for the coastguard & was moved onto 67 for working.

Plummy then said 'my gps reads Lat & long whatever, could you tell me where I am ?'

As only coastguards can do, polite but slightly scathing, 'yes sir, it will take a moment as we do not have paper charts at the operating position'

Few mins later, 'you are 1/2 mile off whatever point'

I did chuckle & wonder what the boatshow salesman had said, maybe " its just like driving a car sir" ?

 

[awol]

Ive seen this so many times,
why oh why do ....
peeps jump into there tenders cast of then try to start there out boards..

In my case it's 'cos the outboard has no neutral and only starts with about half throttle...... but I do always have oars and they ain't the plastic teaspoon variety.

 

[Sans Bateau]

We were on a trip bringing a boat back to Dartmouth from Fort William. The last leg was from Carlingford Loch to Dartmouth, we had motored in dead flat waters all the way from Tusker rock to the Lizard, now the wind was starting to pick up as the forecast NE gale was approaching.

Along with the gale warning the radio regularly warned of a cable laying operation (well south) off Falmouth. We then became alerted to a female American voice calling to a vessel in XXX position, we then realised the vessel in question was the cable laying vessel. The lady informed the startled radio operator on the cable vessel that they were 'in her way' on her passage from Guernsey! She insisted that they should move, the operator politely informed her that was not possible.

Next we hear the same lady, calling the coastguard, 'England coastguard' !! She informs them of her coarse and the inconvenience that the cable laying vessel posed, she then asks the CG to get the cable vessel to move. You could tell the CG were struggling to communicate without laughing, but in true professional tradition, she was advised that she would have to alter course to go around the obstruction.

PS.

Dont try getting around Start Point in a NE 7-8, it wont work.

 

[prv]

why oh why do ....
peeps jump into there tenders cast of then try to start there out boards

Perhaps I want to push out from among the stew of dinghies and lines, instead of wrapping something round the prop? Perhaps it's too shallow to get the leg down?

The real problem is tenders without oars - maybe I've just been a victim of too many crappy old outboards, but I wouldn't dream of casting off without the ability to row. Even just untying to hand-walk the dinghy along the side from foredeck to stern, I'd feel vulnerable without oars on board.

Perhaps it stems from the time, aged 18, that I ended up floating without any means of propulsion, on a 6-foot raft, in the middle of a German harbour at midnight

Pete

 

[Twister_Ken]

Hailed by a RIB with three anglers aboard, about a mile south of the Bridge buoy at the beginning of the Needles Channel.

"Scuse me, where's the nearest place we can get petrol?"

 

[Seajet]

I was once bobbing along in the Solent, off Ryde, when a racing motor boat ( the type with 2 bod's in crash helmets in tandem ) roared up and slowed alongside.

I was quite alarmed, thought I may have strayed into an unknown race area ( though separating that chunk of Solent would be difficult ).

The aft bod - 'navigator ? ' was yelling, but I couldn't hear until they cut their engines.

" 'scuse me, which way is E.Lepe Bouy ? "

" err, about 4 miles on roughly X degrees "

" Thanks ! " Roar of engines and off - it was a calm clear day...

 

[npf1]

There's usually at least one Cptn Calamity at Dartmouth Regatta each year.

They seem to turn up at the last minute, just before the Red Arrows or similar, when the river is jam packed. What separates them from everyone else is their insistence to park where no-one else would dare, usually inbetween boats rafted several abrest and using a downtide approach. They seem to go for the spaces that are either pretty much inaccessible, far too small for their boat or beyond their capabilities. And of course, they insist on a) plenty of throttle and b) ignoring any warnings/advice.

This is usually after they've tried pickup up other peeps anchor buoys.

 

[TQA]

There is a man called George McKay who has built a large 3 masted wooden 'galleon' called Rw Faith with a view to giving wheelchair bound children a sailing experience.

So far it has been to sea several times and has been towed in by the coastguard on most if not all of these times, loosing all 3 masts once and the rudder at least once.

The politest thing said about it is "death trap".

However they have 3 masts up a rudder of sorts and a crew and have been seen under full sail. There are several threads chronicling the minor calamities which can be found by a google.

The potential for a majot life loss calamity is there.

 

[prv]

Next we hear the same lady, calling the coastguard, 'England coastguard' !! She informs them of her coarse and the inconvenience that the cable laying vessel posed, she then asks the CG to get the cable vessel to move. You could tell the CG were struggling to communicate without laughing, but in true professional tradition, she was advised that she would have to alter course to go around the obstruction.

I've heard the same thing, a yacht trying to persuade Solent Coastguard to order a car transporter to keep out of his way. Apparently this was necessary because "you don't know how windy it is out here!" (I had just taken the bread out of the oven, beating to windward in a 24 footer, so it wasn't exactly survival conditions )

Pete