Boat cleaning disease

[tcm]

Does anyone else suffer from this?

I feel that I have an advanced disorder, I do not too much around the house, the grass need mowing etc. But on a boat, i deteriorate. I notice every fault. Even in the early stages I once found that I had spent a whole hour using jif to clean the shore power lead to make it look just as new as a new boat's power lead. More recently, I have hired a boat cleaning person yet spent a whole hour sanding the deck to "show them how it's done", hoovered the dashboard and ensured that tthe helm seats are left at the same level rather than one being untidily higher than the other.

Are there any drugs I can take? Or is this quite normal?

 

[stamfordian]

Try Flash...........it does the hard work so you don,t have to.

 

[Geoffs]

It really is a most terrible affliction. My boat comes out of the water after every outing, you can imagine the aweful time I have. It has to be washed and polished, every trace of salt removed. Terrible.

From what I gather, the condition baffles medical science, and there is no known cure.

Old Chinese proverb 'Man who sail boat into rice field, soon get into paddy'

 

[stewart]

thought you had a skipper to do those things now........

 

[stewart]

ok, just read other post on skipper problems, possibly not most tactful comment I've ever made!

 

[jfm]

Diagnosis

Such a severe case is very rare indeed, but not totally unique. The only other case I can recall in the last 100 yrs or so is Howard Hughes.....

 

[petem]

I too had the same affliction. It reached a head when SWMBO caught me cleaning fenders in the kitchen sink. However please don't let yours turn into 'what take it out and get it dirty?' syndrome.

 

[sailbadthesinner]

Do you find the affliction deteriorates to cleaning hysteria if a newer or shiner boats parks in close vicinity?
It helps to stick around the wrecks.

Wants woman with boat
Send photo of boat

 

[PGD]

Sounds like OCD (Obsessive compulsive disorder) no more like Owner Cleaning Dilemma this is where the calming effect of the boat has worn off and it has become part of the every day rat race – you need a new toy

 

[DepSol]

Dont worry there is a cure,

1 knacker the engines
2 have it lifted out
3 spend three months trying to sort the problem out

You wont even worry about the level of the cushions trust me I know!

Dom


I just want my boat back in the water ;-(

 

[kimhollamby]

Totally normal:

Bucket + water + any number of cleaning potions + any number of cleaning devices + (especially) toilet servicing kit boat = completely obsessive behaviour on part of male

Vacuum cleaner + feather duster + tin of polish or window spray or bathroom cream or (heaven forbid) loo cleaner = male allergic reaction only solved by instant application of couch witha healthy side dish of TV.

kim_hollamby@ipcmedia.com

 

[david_e]

Excuse my lack of knowledge but why would you sand the deck on a new boat? Is this a teak routine or similar or is not quite sanding as we know it?

 

[hlb]

Re:A Sort Of Half Cure!!

For some obscure reason, my boats always parked Starboard to. Even when I go some where else, dont seem to matter where. It's always starboard to. Consiquently I have not seen the port side for some years. However the up side is that the starboard side is beautifully clean, and done in half the time!!

No one can force me to come here-----------
----- I'm a Volunteer!!!

Haydn

 

[jfm]

Re: missing port side found

you can see the port side in the pic. Looks ok to me....

 

[tcm]

ah, well i sanded it a bit cos there a a small bit of dirt that couldn't be got out any other way. Also if you sandpaper it a bit it feels all nice on your feet instead of a bit ridgey. Obviously neeed quite thick teak for this...

Nurse!!

 

[tcm]

Re: consultation

It's very bad, and I am already nexty to a bit of a heap. Having fired the skipper I set to on the boat. I heard mutterings around that nobody else on the pontoon cleaned as madly as me, and they're the skippers, not owners. To answer your question, its' actuially better next to a new boat, cos then you can calm down, safe in the knowledge that your boat is older, and not spanking new. If you are next to a ten-year old heap, there a tendency to set to for fear of ending up in the same condition.

 

[hlb]

Re: missing port side found

You know I've noticed that. It must never get dirty cos never touching the fenders.
While I think about it. Tutt's stuck a fender over the heating outlet tother week. Folk were tapping on the window to tell me. I waved them away cos the bloody things always smoking. Next morning I saw what they were trying to tell me.
One fender melted to the side of the boat and a big black patch!!

No one can force me to come here-----------
----- I'm a Volunteer!!!

Haydn

 

[WayneS]

Is there any way that I can infect my wife and kids with this. So far it is only me that has caught it.

 

[tcm]

No, everyone else is immune once you have caught it. Note that a side-effect of the disease is finding fault, regardless of how clean the boat is.

So, for example, even if you bought a new thing straight out of the packet and used it on board, then that wd be no good cos it has creases in it, or a price sticker, and the bin wd be full of the packaging, or all three.

 

[petem]

The cure.....

1) Drink more alcohol
2) Open your eyes in a squinty sort of fashion so everything looks blurred and you are unable to find faults