B**gg**

tillergirl

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Joined
5 Nov 2002
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West Mersea
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Started with aged Mum ringing saying her washing machine was bust.

Drive over. Pressed On/Off, Reset and On/Off. Washing machine works

Drive back and hand-free in car stops working so had to stop for 10 minutes for calls.

Got back late for Steve

Cycle to YC. Can get lock on bike to work. Arrived at Yacht Club just as Andrew (launchman) set off for Salcott. (Longest return journey)

On boat – attempted to fit new stop cable nipple. God bless Volvo – a Torx slot in the screw head! Why? What’s the point of it all.

Out in river, lousy viz – oh well we’ll tack up river against ebb.

No we won’t bother, not enough wind.

Turn the other way, going to be too slow to make the Spitway for the extra survey given that we are late. Mind you I’ve not bothered to read tide table properly and there's more of the ebb to go than I think.

8-10 knots of wind, Bl**dy slow. Think we’ll get the spinny up for the first time this year.

Where does it all go?

Hoist the spinny and the port guy shackle isn’t properly moused and comes off

Spinny flies like a flag

We stream 50 ft of guy behind us.

Drop spinny with difficulty given that we haven’t got a leeward guy to tug in.

Recover guy from astern.

Sort out twisted spinny on deck and rerig guys

Hoist spinny

B**gg** forgot the pole downhaul and the pole is reaching for the sky like a smack bowsprit rigged for a marina

Haul down the pole that doesn’t want to come down. Foredeck is now pitching up and down. Everything seems a bit too difficult.

What’s the wind speed? 16 knots.

Get the pole down and make a mess of arranging the downhaul. Go back to the cockpit to get the spinny to set properly.

B**gg**, the downhaul is too tight

B**gg**, the downhaul is jammed

B**GG** the lot of it

Downhaul is unjammed

Spinny won’t set

Pulled this rope and pulled that rope

It won’t set.

Wind speed now averaging 18 knots

Oh S*d it. I’m getting it down

Can we get it blanketed behind main? Can we b**gg**

S*d it I’m Kn**ckered. It comes down in briny

Spinny on deck; brave captain soaked to skin.

Wet spinny is dumped down forehatch proving SWMBO right (again – b**gg**) that I’m always getting the fore cabin wet and new fancy dralon covered bunk cushions would be soon ruin (i.e. the 1964 vinyl is fine – at least until she’s had a new three piece suite)

Fore deck now has a tangle of guys and sheets, downhauls and uphauls and wooden poles. Sort that out.

What’s that buoy?

That’ll be the Eagle

That’ll mean we’ll be aground in a minute or so!

Out with genny, and tack.

Coo this is good: 18 knots, 6.5 knots (Pause to see video)



One tack all the way back to Mersea, swooping and swishing, time for a beer each

Pause for video



Off Mersea, lets tack up river, ease off the mainsheet and have tea

Tacking across the river, kettle on

Getting across river v quick, ooh wind is now mainly 25 knots.

Time for a reef

Helmsman holds up a shackle pin. Where’s this from?

Oh dear, topping lift is flying free to leeward.

Shackle is dangling from the eye

S*d it, we need a reef.

Kettle now whistling merrily

S*d it, make tea and take a rest.

We’ll drop the main, dumping the boom on deck (and probably the main in the water (actually did this ok!)

Run back down river to Mersea under genny

As we run back topping lift dangles over the deck. Shackle's gone! Quel surprise

And we get it first go – first thing to go right all day.

Time for another tea and a Wagon Wheel – do you know how small wagons must be these days.

Oh well back on the mooring with 20 nm on the log, a drenched fore cabin (a bead of moisture in’t bilge)

Finale: Rinsing down spinny in garden over the washing line. Bee trapped on washing line under spinny. No see bee, run finger along washing line and bee stings brave captain!

Anyone for boating?

PS - sorry about quality of video - taken on the digital still camera
 
haha. Brilliant!

You should do a blog with accounts like that. I liked the short, sharp style. It was a very entertaining read.

Still, sod it, that's what sailing is about. We all complain, but it happens so often, we should know better, since problems are the fabric of our hobby. /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

Keep complaining though, as will I. /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
 
Voyeur!

You would have seen a rather sad display of a hissy-fit - and the sound track would have to be deleted.

I have to say that the proper bit of sailing was up there amongst the best.
 
Excellent turn of phrase Roger.

I do so enjoy salacious tales of derring didn't.

The video was good though!
 
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