Argh.....

david_steward

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Joined
16 May 2001
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Chatham, Kent
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Had a lovely weekend on the East Coast. Spent a pleasant Friday evening in the Green Man at Bradwell, then nipped over to Brightlingsea for lunch. Later on we cruised down to Burnham for Saturday night. We had my wife's sister and boyfriend on board.

But why oh why do non-boaty guests fail to understand the simplest of instructions?

Such as the all important....

DO NOT PUT ANYTHING DOWN THE TOILET THAT YOU HAVN'T EATEN FIRST !!!

Forum old hands will have some idea where this is going.

We were just about to leave for Brightlingsea when the poor chap dived in the guest loo for a quick pony. Very easy to use electric flush Par.

Sadly, little did he know that my sister-in-law had been busily chucking copious amounts of screwed up high wet strength kitchen roll down there, and only working the flush for a second or two. She had then followed this up with some face wipes.

The predictable result occurred. Sadly for her partner it was only after he had unloaded that he realised that the flush water was entering the bowl but nothing was leaving as the engineers intended. He kept on trying to flush until the whirlpool of noxious mixture was lapping the top of the bowl.

He overcame his obvious sense of shame and popped his head out of the door. His girlfriend denied vehemently putting anything untoward down the toilet.

What followed will probably scar him for life. I supplied him with various utensils, including a plunger and a wire coathanger. All to no avail. He was reduced to emptying the bowl into a bucket using a bailer. It was only after he finished that I remembered my supply of surgical gloves !

But then I had to get in there to seperate the electric pump unit from the bottom of the bowl. Once all the bolts were undone I sent him back in to remove the offending mess from the pipe and impeller. He managed to unblock it all (choking on the smell) and then wash the area down with the shower head.

A cursory examination, from a good distance away on my part, revealed the kitchen roll and the face wipes. Sister-in-law was bang to rights, so she went and sulked for an hour. Personally I wanted to stick her head in the still full bucket. But basic decency won through. And the threat of ex-communication by my wife.

For the rest of the day, the poor fellow had to endure endless amounts of 'toilet' humour.

Roll on next weekend.....






<hr width=100% size=1>We don't want a sports cruiser, totally impractical. Err ok then.

Dave S
 
Joined
27 Nov 2002
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388
Location
Whiteley, Hampshire.
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Re: Argh....a little revenge.

David, your post brought back many unpleasant memories of running flotillas the clients were generally pretty good but with sixteen boats on the flotilla it still meant a blocked loo every three or four days! The engineer and I took it in turns to unblock them and he (ex scottish fisherman) came up with a good wheeze to extract a little revenge. When we went down to fix the problem we always had a well melted Snickers bar in the tool bag and once the job (excuse the pun) was finished we would smear a little on one side of our face, the embarassed clients would always offer us a beer as compensation and the real trick was to get settled in the cockpit without showing the offensive "Smear". It was wonderful to watch the reactions!, half would keep the typically British dignity and not mention anything, but even better was when they very delicately and politely pointed it out we would wipe it off and lick our fingers clean, at least three people threw up on the spot!!!!

One last tip, stolen from the autopsy scene in Silence of the lambs is to smear a line of Vicks Vaporub under your nose, works great you can't smell a thing!

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G

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You said you had a good weekend not a SH-t one.You really should hang a directions for use notice in your heads could save the Sh-t hitting the fan next time.
saw a V65 trying to moor in Ramsgate non experienced helmsman great fun to watch,lovely machine.

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