Anoraks

[claymore]

Dear Heart considers us all to be anoraks - her eye takes on a strange and not altogether pleasant glint as she utters the word and its something I live in constant threat of each time I disappear to the loft where we keep the computer as she once caught me posting instead of marking.

Yesterday we took tea at the house of Dear Hearts Sister - this is the younger sister with the flat chest but rather pleasant bottom. The people next door are enthusiasts for WWII vehicles and often dress up in full military regalia whilst they polish their willys (Jeeps)
Yesterday there was a Tank and a Scammel Breakdown truck parked outside and what seemed a regiment of people in khaki uniforms - British and American - perhaps it was the beer in me but I uttered a few critical words and Dear Heart took issue. She's a great one for defending causes and so I found myself embroiled in a discussion concerning the futility of grown men dressing up in uniforms and driving round in military vehicles. To cut to the chase here - she actually asked me how I could be so critical when I am as big an anorak as "all those other anoraks who you spend hours with on the computer"
I wish to develop round 2 of this debate and so would welcome some stiffish, body-checking one liners - or if Mirelle is around, a reasoned viewpoint that will draw from the lips of the Mother of our Child something resembling an apology. I have to say that since 1972 - the year of our Marriage, there have only been two apologies. One when she failed to steady the ladder, resulting in my fall from the damson tree and one when she skiied over my hand. I feel there have been several opportunities for other apologies but it's not something she really likes to do.

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[Twister_Ken]

I\'m far too polite

to body-check such a long-suffering and obviously worthy personage as your very own Dear Heart, but if it's any compensation, you may wish to know that you, all of you, are referred to by Madame as internet pervs.

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.writeforweb.com/twister1>Let's Twist Again</A>

 

[chas]

To which occupation is she referring - sailing or posting on this forum?

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[trev]

Re: Anoraksia Nervosa

I resent being referred to as an anorak - a Douglas Gill/Helly Hanson/ or even a Musto has a much nicer ring to it !!

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[tcm]

Re: Anorak attack

The tag of "anorak" applies to those who acquire expertise but never put that expertise or knowledge to any active or worthwhile use. They chat about cars they never drive. They watch trains or planes far more than they travel on them, or use them or build them.

So I believe you are correct that those who dress up in military gear and drive about in military vehicles are indeed anorakish : unless they do something of a practical relevant nature such as shoot people, or attempt to take over a country, or a small part thereof.

Likewise it *would* be anorakish if one was keen on dressing up in all-weather gear, practsing knots, shouting lee-ho - but never actually doing any actual sailing. But if you actively participate, then you are not an anorak - you are an enthusiast, even a keen enthusiast.

If it's military then this actual practical participation in the activity earns one the title of "nutter", unless you have enlisted as a professional soldier, in which case you are "brave" which is appreciative or (usually) rather wary shorthand term which also means "nutter". I digress.

The title of "anorak" could most accurately be ascribed to .... lots of women! They spend days wandering ariound shops but buying very little, they buy and hoarde significant quantities of lifestyle magazines, they learn and know the calorific value of every item of food, they watch untold numbers of TV food/homemaking programs AND YET they hardly cook anything very adventurous, they've had the same hairdresser for at least five years, they rarely if ever do any DIY themselves, they are pretty much the same weight as they have been for a decade or more, and wear the same favourite clothes all the time!

You will need to be very sure to keep this in the third person, so that the response to an adverse ripost can be " Goodness me - I specifically wasn't meaning YOU dear - you've had lots more than one hairdressser (or new outfit if this isn't true), AND I clearly remember how you repaired that ironing board in 1986! "

Now, that might get a sorry. It would certainly be a points win. Dangerous though. Needs rehearsing. Disclaimer applies.


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[Mirelle]

Thank you

That reasoned response is a good deal better than the one I had been flattered into trying to concoct!

I suppose I should in fairness volunteer to be the first to try it, but I might lack the courage to do so, as She Who Must be Obeyed saw an MFV yesterday and has been raving ever since about boats that not only have engines that work all the time, but have an Aga in the galley!


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