A yacht as a garden ornament

I dinna mind being called sizeist
I dinna mind allegations aboout poofy gnomes, but ...

'Ware the wrath o' the reiver ! Oi be not one o' they Southerners.


(The real question you should be asking is what anchor your fellow forumites would use to secure the vessel to the vegetable patch)
 
I'd use grp rather than wood because, particularly if you have an arboretum in your garden, you won't be able to see the wood for the trees.

What marque would you go for? Maybe a nice Swan for your duckpond? Or a Halberg-Grassy?
 
well I was thinking a nice wooden boat with a few flowers on the decks would looh attractive and I could grow mushrooms downstairs. NOw I was just a bit concerned that wood wouldnae be up tae ra job and that I'd be better off with GRP?
 
yer grammatical structure is terribly cafoodled .. ye've either been in the pub or the land of taff too long!
 
Well, I had a wooden dinghy in my garden as an ornament, and it didnt take long for it to be decaying into the mulch, so therefore I recommend GRP. Dig it into the garden at a jaunty angle, and be all Chelseaish with the flora arrangement. Should be the envy of all your friends and neighbours. Dont forget to have a large rope fender nailed right round the gunwale edges for that authentic look.

For those in Inner City 60s architecture, I highly recommend a Ferro Hartley Fijian or similar to blend with the other concrete in the area. Leave it with some of the rusting steel work poking out for that Damian Hirst effect.
 
We had a wooden Oppy that also turned to mulch.Wish the same would happen to the plastic Moth'Europ remains, which have adorned or garage roof for 15 years. On the other hand, might consider using it as a planter!
 
Why use it just as an ornament?

Make a hole in the side of your house, cut out the transom of the boat, stick boat in the side of the house.
Instant extension!
 
People generally have strong views about old yachts stuck in garden covered in crap. Before I say anything else, let me remind old yachts stuck in garden covered in crap that it controls a secret underground empire. To pretend otherwise is nothing but hypocrisy and unwillingness to face the more unpleasant realities of life. I have given this issue a great deal of thought, and I now have a strong conviction that several things old yachts stuck in garden covered in crap has said have brought me to the boiling point. The statement of its that made the strongest impression on me, however, was something to the effect of how clever one-liners are a valid substitute for actual thinking. Though wayward materialism is not discussed in this post, much of what I've written applies to that, as well.

There is a tortured quality to old yachts stuck in garden covered in crap's reasoning, a careful avoidance of obvious conclusions, and a painstaking circumnavigation of embarrassing facts. Why? That's easy. Old yachts stuck in garden covered in crap is absolutely determined to believe that it is unctuous to question its fibs, and it's not about to let facts or reason get in its way.

When a friend wants to drive inebriated, you try to stop him. Well, old yachts stuck in garden covered in crap is drunk with power, which is why we must comment on a phenomenon that has and will continue to consign most of us to the role of its servants or slaves. Before old yachts stuck in garden covered in crap initiated an ageism flap to help promote its gruesome, slaphappy scare tactics, people everywhere were expected to give it a rhadamanthine warning not to combine, in a rare mixture, bestial cruelty and an inconceivable gift for lying. Nowadays, it's the rare person indeed who realizes that old yachts stuck in garden covered in crap is not just clumsy. It is unbelievably, astronomically clumsy. Old yachts stuck in garden covered in crap just keeps on saying, "We don't give a [expletive deleted] about you. We just want to damn this nation and this world to Hell." If we intend to defend democracy, we had best learn to recognize its primary enemy and not be afraid to stand up and call it by name. That name is old yachts stuck in garden covered in crap.
 
I would like to clarify some comments I made recently regarding Mr. AJT. In the rest of this post, I will use history and science (in the Hegelian sense) to prove that AJT functions not as a social critic, but as an unoriginal imitator of the ruling ideologues. In particular, he insists that he is a spokesman for God. This fraud, this lie, is just one among the thousands he perpetrates. His propositions share a number of characteristics. They pooh-pooh the reams of solid evidence pointing to the existence and operation of an unrestrained coterie of fetishism. They gag free speech. And they create a new cottage industry around his perverted form of sensationalism. Put together, these characteristics imply that his arguments are not witty satire, as AJT would have you believe. They're simply the intolerant ramblings of someone who has no idea or appreciation of what he's mocking.

AJT's true colors have finally come out. That said, let me continue. When I was a child, my clergyman told me, "In AJT's line of business, you don't need to know what you're talking about." If you think about it you'll see his point. I am hurt, furious, and embarrassed. Why am I hurt? Because AJT is reluctant to resolve problems. He always just looks the other way and hopes no one will notice that he seeks scapegoats for his own shortcomings by blaming the easiest target he can find, that is, hectoring, besotted misers. Why am I furious? Because he had previously claimed that he had no intention to deny minorities a cultural voice. Of course, shortly thereafter, that's exactly what he did. Next, he denied that he would irritate an incredible number of people. We all know what happened then. Now, AJT would have us believe he'd never ever preach a propaganda of hate. Will he? Go figure. My view is that we are observing the change in our society's philosophy and values from freedom and justice to corruption, decay, cynicism, and injustice. All of these "values" are artistically incorporated in one person: AJT. And why am I embarrassed? Because I am making a pretty serious accusation here. I am accusing him of planning to change the course of history. And I don't want anyone to think that I am basing my accusation only on the fact that his machinations are based on two fundamental errors. They assume that he is a refined gentleman with the soundest education and morals you can imagine. And they promote the mistaken idea that public opinion is a reliable indicator of what's true and what isn't.

Anyone who hasn't been living in a cave with his eyes shut and his ears plugged knows that AJT is careless with data, makes all sorts of causal interpretations of things without any real justification, has a way of combining disparate ideas that don't seem to hang together, seems to show a sort of pride in his own biases, gets into all sorts of inaniloquent speculation, and then makes no effort to test out his speculations -- and that's just the short list! It's really not bloody-mindedness that compels me to increase awareness and understanding of our similarities and differences. It's my sense of responsibility to you, the reader. AJT's a psychologically defective person. He's what the psychiatrists call a constitutional psychopath or a sociopath. The purpose of this post is far greater than to prove to you how obtrusive and out-of-touch AJT has become. The purpose of this post is to get you to start thinking for yourself, to start thinking about how on a television program last night, I heard one of this country's top scientists conclude that, "AJT's factotums have been trained, organized, and motivated to take rights away from individuals whom only he perceives as callow." That's exactly what I have so frequently argued and I am pleased to have my view confirmed by so eminent an individual. Any rational argument must acknowledge this. His jejune hastily mounted campaigns, naturally, do not.

Yes, I realize that I have absolutely nothing in common with AJT, but for the sake of brevity I've had to express myself in simplified terms. His disciples are the choleric punks of the modern age, which is another way of saying that if we look beyond his delusions of grandeur, we see that in order to halt the destructive process that is carrying our civilization toward extinction, we must overcome the obstacles that people like him establish. And that's just the first step. Remember, AJT hides behind the carefully managed prevarication that the federal government should take more and more of our hard-earned money and more and more of our hard-won rights. More than that, he believes that he acts in the public interest. The real damage that this belief causes actually has nothing to do with the belief itself, but with psychology, human nature, and the skillful psychological manipulation of that nature by AJT and his vengeful associates. One of AJT's vicegerents once said, "Cannibalism, wife-swapping, and the murder of infants and the elderly are acceptable behavior." Now that's pretty funny, of course, but I didn't include that quote just to make you laugh. I included it to convince you that the key to AJT's soul is his longing for the effortless, irresponsible, automatic consciousness of an animal. He dreads the necessity, the risk, and the responsibility of rational cognition. As a result, if AJT were as bright as he thinks he is, he'd know that his inclinations promote a redistribution of wealth. This is always an appealing proposition for AJT's devotees because much of the redistributed wealth will undoubtedly end up in the hands of the redistributors as a condign reward for their loyalty to AJT. On rare occasions, in order to preserve their liberties, sometimes people must judge people by the color of their skin while ignoring the content of their character. AJT does that even when his liberties aren't being threatened.

AJT wants you to believe that the rest of us are an inferior group of people, fit only to be enslaved, beaten, and butchered at the whim of our betters. You should be wary of such claims. Be aware! Be skeptical! Think! Do not be diverted, deceived, or mesmerized by AJT's flagitious ethics.

I myself cannot believe how many actual, physical, breathing, thinking people have fallen for AJT's subterfuge. I'm totally stunned. AJT possesses an extraordinary ability to make incompetence seem philosophical and stupidity seem profound, and deep down in our bones, we all know why. Believe you me, his picayunish dream is starting to come true. Liberties are being killed by attrition. Adversarialism is being installed by accretion. The only way that we can reverse these brusque, dysfunctional trends is to get AJT off our backs. To be precise, I, not being one of the many pompous crackpots of this world, respect the English language and believe in the use of words as a means of communication. Misguided, short-sighted bigamists like him, however, consider spoken communication as merely a set of noises uttered to excite emotions in bloodthirsty, fatuous dorks in order to convince them to deflect attention from his unwillingness to support policies that benefit the average citizen.

Now I certainly do not want to sound discouraging, but it is immature and stupid of AJT to lead an active disinformation campaign. It would be mature and intelligent, however, to do something about the continuing -- make that the escalating -- effort on his part to leave a generation of people planted in the mud of an impractical world, to begin a new life in the shadows of Fabianism, and that's why I say that he is the picture of the insane person on the street, babbling to a tree, a wall, or a cloud, which cannot and does not respond to his manuscripts. Let me put it this way: almost every day, he outreaches himself in setting new records for arrogance, deceit, and greed. It's unmistakably breathtaking to watch him.

It's easy for us to shake our heads at AJT's foolishness and cowardice. It's easy for us to exclaim that we should recall the ideals of compassion, nonviolence, community, and cooperation. It's easy for us to say, "Autism is an inherently oppressive ideology." The point is that it's easy for us to say these things because AJT is like a stray pigeon. Pigeons are too self-absorbed to care about anyone else. They poo on people they don't like; they poo on people they don't even know. The only real difference between AJT and a pigeon is that AJT intends to reduce religion to a consumer item in a spiritual supermarket. That's why if the people generally are relying on false information sown by lazy scoundrels, then correcting that situation becomes a priority for the defense of our nation. AJT uses the very intellectual tools he criticizes, namely consequentialist arguments rather than arguments about truth or falsity. His comrades actually believe the bunkum they're always mouthing. That's because these kinds of uppity mouthpieces for politically incorrect irreligionism are idealistic, have no sense of history or human nature, and they think that what they're doing will improve the world in the coming days. In reality, of course, the justification AJT gave for seeking to obliterate our sense of identity was one of the most logorrheic justifications I've ever heard. It was so logorrheic, in fact, that I will not repeat it here. Even without hearing the details you can still see my point quite clearly: AJT is not a responsible citizen. Responsible citizens work together towards a shared vision. Responsible citizens definitely do not prevent the real problems from being solved.

For one thing, AJT's subalterns impale us on the pike of antidisestablishmentarianism for dubious reasons or for no reason at all. But more important, for AJT's bleeding-heart plans to succeed, he needs to "dumb down" our society. An uninformed populace is easier to control and manipulate than an educated populace. In a lustrum or two, schoolchildren will stop being required to learn the meanings of words like "semiprofessionalized" and "phototelegraphically". They will be incapable of comprehending that if you were to tell AJT that no one today believes that we should avoid personal responsibility, he'd just pull his security blanket a little tighter around himself and refuse to come out and deal with the real world. He maintains a "Big Brother" dossier of incriminating information about everyone he distrusts, to use as a potential weapon. Is your name listed in that dossier? As you no doubt realize, that's a particulary timely question. In fact, just half an hour ago, I heard someone express the opinion that the last time I told AJT's helpers that I want to give the needy a helping hand, as opposed to an elbow in the face, they declared in response, "But the Earth is flat." Of course, they didn't use exactly those words, but that's exactly what they meant.

I once had a nightmare in which AJT was free to glorify the things that everyone else execrates. When I awoke, I realized that this nightmare was frighteningly close to reality. For instance, it is the case both in my nightmare and in reality that I must admit that I've read only a small fraction of AJT's writings. (As a well-known aphorism states, it is not necessary to eat all of an apple to learn that it is rotten.) Nevertheless, I've read enough of AJT's writings to know that I truly dislike AJT. Likes or dislikes, however, are irrelevant to observed facts, such as that given a choice of having AJT delude and often rob those rendered vulnerable and susceptible to his snares because of poverty, illness, or ignorance or having my bicuspids extracted sans Novocaine, I would embrace the pliers, purchase some Polident Partials, and call it a day. Several things AJT has said have brought me to the boiling point. The statement of his that made the strongest impression on me, however, was something to the effect of how communism is the key to world peace. While it's true that he has more understanding of beer and milk regulations than of farsighted plans for the future, AJT has yet to acknowledge that fact. I recently informed him that his hangers-on eliminate those law-enforcement officers who constitute the vital protective bulwark in the fragile balance between anarchy and tyranny. AJT said he'd "look further into the matter." Well, not too much further; after all, he demands obeisance from his cat's-paws. Then, once they prove their loyalty, AJT forces them to threaten the common good. It is time for someone to fight tooth and nail against Mr. AJT. Will that someone be you?


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Why do you have a complaint about me on your Web page
 
Der Jimi Code mit Enigma haff I de-constructified !

He, the phrase " old yachts stuck in garden covered in crap " as 1st substitute for "you" gemacht has. Und, thereafter, mit Herr Gates VW (Vunderful Windows) just der Kut und Paste necessasry it is.

Below, however, the superficial, lives a serious man trying to get out. Aren't we all, Hilda ? His dialectic is unsurpassable, his logic impenentrable, and it is only the afternoon.

Vatch zis Pace.
 
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