You're Not a Real Boater ...

Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

Thank goodness you don't have any photos.....you don't have any photos, do you...?

Glad they were able to put you back together.
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

Reading your post has given me a twisting sensation in the lower stomach.

I think you get the award for the most "ouch" /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

On your first demo of new boat, to somewhat nervous co-owner's wife, you get sidetracked whilst doing your "pre-flight checks". 200m down estuary you smell something hot and bilge pump alarm goes off. Look into engine bay and water spraying everywhere. Mmmm, wonder where I left the top off the water filter /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif
Shouting/whispering loudly - "don't panic, we're sinking" didn't impress aforementioned lady.

You take back to the dealers (4 TIMES), a new outboard engine that kept cutting out after about 40 mins. running.
Carb problem?, overheating? etc etc? - NO!! - fuel starvation due to RUNNING OUT OF FUEL /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

Oooowww!

Puts holing new boat on bows of ferry on first outing into perspective. Still, we didn't sink, the 1' hole was (just) above the waterline. Thank goodness it was a bank holiday w/e in a popular seaside resort, only a few hundred spectators /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif

Now known to a few mates affectionately as Captain Whatferry /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

Until your teleflex inner steering cable breaks whilst passing up the narrow marked channel during Henley week and careering out-of-control into the regatta (this was in 1976) and having to drift down the running regatta course whilst frantically getting dinghy off davits, outboard on it, starting outboard and towing cruiser clear of the course.

We were EVER so popular!
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

Having seen Scuttlebutt's effort, I have a couple of saily ones too...

'Until' Your crew has hoist the Jib upside down and still wonders why he can't sheet it in! (Clue is, one side of the sail is longer than the other)

Or until you've put out a distress call because both rudders have broken off on a catamaran in a F7 off St. Albans Head. Then when a Minesweeper comes across your bow to assist you put a hole in his side with your bow roller cos you gotno steering, Dammit! /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

When it comes to cat sailing Roger - I have a few but this one is the most memorable.

A friend of mine wondered why his Dart cat wasnt going very fast at the start of a race only to find out that he still had the launching trolley attached to the bottom of the boat!!
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

I had a similar loss of speed on a Tornado too, didn't realise what was going on until, my ass got wet...

Transom bungs! /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

your not a real boater until you have miscalculated the amount of room you need to swing in a busy Bank Hol Anchorage, wrapped two yachts together and had abuse shouted at you while you are enjoying a BBQ and beer on the beach

" well that was thoroughly predictable, you anchored too close to us "

my response

" well if it was that predictable, why didn't you move ? "
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

When the EVC decides to shut one engine down when you're heading out towards open water in a very narrow channel. Now just to spice it up a bit there is a yacht heading in towards the marina with a bit of speed up.

Of course you are following colregs and passing port to port.

Which engine do you suppose shuts down?

Yip, lost the bloody port engine. Yer man in the yacht keeps going at speed coz he has the right of way waving furiously as I try to get out of his way. Just missed him by a hairs breath.

Yachtie shouting "how big do you think you are" as he passes by - course he assumed that I did it on purpose /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

[ QUOTE ]
When the EVC decides to shut one engine down when you're heading out towards open water in a very narrow channel

[/ QUOTE ]
That reminds me of a current problem - our new MTUs dont sync like the old Volvos - you have to get one control lever controling both engines. Anyway, arriving in Cartegena, thinking that both engines were independently controlled, I grabbed the lever that wasnt being used at the time and put it in reverse. Now the starboard engine was being asked to do two things - go forward (synchronised with the port engine) and at the same time it had been asked to go astern. The result was electronic confusion caused by the skipper and the starboard engine simply gave up and shut down. If it could speak it would have said something like "forward or backwards - idiot"
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

Havn't done it myself but know someone who has.
You're not a real boater till: You've fitted a new helm and steering cable and not taken note of what side the cable went in on the old one, very funny watching someone try to moor with reversed steering.
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

................until your a long way from home and the cush rubber hub in your prop lets go. You have a spare but its the opposite rotation. Thats ok cus you can motor home one leaver in foward and one in reverse!.. until you get back to the marina which calls for some fancy vectoring at the best of times. .........leaving the fly in auto to go down for a quick pee then returning smack into the closed patio door.
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

As I was looking at my Dinghy today I remembered another one.

You're Not a Real Boater until... after lifting all the bags out of the dinghy and opening the cabin you turn around to pick up the bags and notice the dinghy is about 100 yards astern heading out to sea on the ebb! Cue the fastest engine checks and mooring departure!
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

You've got your boat out of the water when all around you either stayed in or are back in and looking forward to a great weekend on the boat! /forums/images/graemlins/cool.gif

Cheers to all, I'm off to my boat now, see you out there or read about you 'real boaters' here next week. /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

Your not a real boater till. You've found all three of you in the cockpit, the patio doors have misteriously locked there selves and the boats doing 20 knots into Plymouth harbour on auto pilot.
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

This from MrsSV.

You're not a real boater until you become an expert on all cleaning products but never learn to use the at home.

Ouch /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

[ QUOTE ]
Until you have been ditch crawling around Portsmouth or up to Emsworth with Goffy on an outgoing tide in the dark in dingies. /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

And when you get back from the trip, you trip out of your dinghy, do a 360 and then do your best to fall back in the dinghy again. /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

We are now real boaters, we went ditch crawling on Satuday night up to the 'Ship' at Itchenor in the dinghys... Slightly worse for wear (well, terribly) we came back in a procession, just over halfway back we were all walking around on a shingle bank! /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Had a giggle about, "That's the last time we follow Derek." and then staggered back into Sparkes, just after a near miss with a huge green lighted buoy which someone on board thought was Targalout's 'New Green Torch!"

Briliant night and what a crack! /forums/images/graemlins/cool.gif
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

You have parked in a field for 24 hours!

[image]
P3280018.jpg
[/image]

[image]
JeffUpTheRiver.jpg
[/image]

[image]
easter2005002-beachedboat-1.jpg
[/image]
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Share this page

Top