You're Not a Real Boater ...

Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

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some good stuff here for the next MBY /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

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Never mind an article - there is enough to start a book -
Well done Roger Rat for cheering up this forum /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif it was just what it needed.

May
xx

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/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif Ah schucks, it struck me as a potentially funny thread, but the number of stories in reply is brill. Unfortunately, I seem to have done more than a few of these crazy cock-ups. /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif

How about, reversing the Shogun down the slip until you hear the anchor coming through the back window? (not me that one, but my 1st fishing boat)

Also, I've seen quite a few burnt fenders swinging by ebersmakkers too! /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Great stuff everyone, keep 'em coming... /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gif
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

Spent an hour trying to pump out the rib to find that the pump discharge was tucked into the donkeys dick.

Waved at my mate on the rib then couldn't understand why the engine died all of a sudden - Kill Cord!

Couldn't find out why I couldn't turn using the throttles to then find out the autopilot is still on.

Got really confused as to why boat would not turn using throttles to find only one engine running.

Spent a week doing close quarters stuff on twin engine boat - got into car - both hands went to the gear stick in order to try reverse the car out of the parking space!!

The list now doubt will go on and on - watch out Solent lot we're cming your way next week
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

Until You've tried to unlock the boat cabin with the car remote. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Until You've rushed to see why a 50' sunseeker is wrapped round your anchor only to be asked if you wouldn't mind showing them how to drive it off. /forums/images/graemlins/cool.gif
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

until you've burnt/melted your fender on the heater exhaust outlet.

...................................................................................
Not good enough.

Your not a real boater. Till you have told folk to clear off, for tapping on the window whilst your having a nap.

To tell you that your fender has melted. /forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

You're not a real boater till: You suffer a fuel blockage in the SB engine only to realise the steering arm has snapped on the P engine and you are going around in circles in a shallow channel.

And yet another admission of leaving a mooring under full power,full shore power that is... Twangggg Splash!

And something about the sound of a phone dropping into the water.
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

you are not a real boater ... till you have both jumped off the cruiser at the same time, its floated to the other side, and there's not a bridge in sight for miles either way.

Errm pass us our boat please, to the next boater going past.
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

Went out on own boat to do my power boat cert course with wife and instructor and broke down before we got out of marina.
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

Until you have dutifully tried to prevent your friends ski-boat from piling on to Osmington beach with a heavy on shore swell.

There was a guy who did a similar story with bricks going up and down. Mine is similar but spelt only slightly differently.

I was sat straddling the bow to prevent the hit.
The seventh wave came in and as the back of the boat was going down I was going up.

I slid down the foredeck right in to the rear of the boat.
Ouch I hear you say! Yes there was a large cleat in the centre of the foredeck.

I was wearing swimming trunks and they were intact so it could not be that bad?
Lesson one. Trunks stretch considerably further than (excuse me, sc----m)!
Boat beached and feeling slightly unwell go for a quick peek.
Goodness Ive never seen those before.
At this moment I see a Collie dog showing interest which develops an overwhelming concern for the loss of one or both exposed articles being picked up from the pebble beach and run off with.
A friend see's I am not my usual jovial self and takes me to Weymouth General Hospital where I spend the next week and half.
This story has never failed to make real men wince and ladies even twitch on the spot.
Alls well though, have two children now and the nightmares have stopped. All except the hungry Collie.
Never put me off boating though. /forums/images/graemlins/ooo.gif
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

Does wincing make your eyes water? Cos your story certainly brought tears to my eyes. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

Do'nt worry he can do the high notes /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

You've taken the dinghy to Yarmouth Quay. Made off the dinghy with a short painter.

Returned a couple of hours later to find the tides fallen and your dinghy is left dangling.

Not done it yet but seen it several times. Equally funny is the short painter at low tide /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

Didn't mean to turn a fun post into a my cat is blacker than your cat session. Its absoulutely true but even I can see after a certain amount of time it has its humorous side.

No harm done etc. /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

Your not a real boater. Till you have been stupid enough to buy a fiberglass dinghy. Thinking it much posher than a rubber one. Only to be sunk in the surf in January, just after the pub stopped serving food.
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

You're not a real boater until you've struggled to get your tender into position on the bathing platform, then been round and adjusted all the fenders, only then to discover that you are no longer wearing your expensive watch.

Or filling up at the fuel berth with a strong cross wind you discover the "helpful" attendant hasn't tied off the bow line properly. No engines, nozzle still in and bow carrying away at a rate of knots. Wot now skip?
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

You're not a real boater - till you have turned the key to start the (inboard petrol) engine - without first having run the blower /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif
 
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