You're Not a Real Boater ...

Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

You're not a real boater until.... you have just seen the latest James Bond movie 'Live and let Die' and tried to replicate the boat chase bit flat out in a 10' plastic Taberyak with a 4.5hp merc trying to skim over the top of a sand bank a few inches under the water, "THUMP" , split the hull, took the skeg off the outboard and smacked your head open on the thwart /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif

PS My brother said it was the funniest thing he ever saw, he wet himself....really ! , then he wet himself again when my dad twated me across the head for being so stupid :-(
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

Fine fine, to get back into the spirit of the thread.....

You're not a real boater until....

... You move from fresh non-tidal water to a tidal marina, you come back to port on a low tide knackered after the day's activities to realise that the lock gates don't open for another 4 hours

That better? /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

Until you have been ditch crawling around Portsmouth or up to Emsworth with Goffy on an outgoing tide in the dark in dingies. /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

Just to alter slightly, not a real smoker on board: until you can make a rollup one handed while working ropes with the other:- friend of mine years ago "cough" sailing to Emsworth. I was in awe, as he made me one too, then lit both with Swan Vesta and thumbnail.
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

Until you turn up at your mooring the night after the worst storm in living memory having had a call from the harbourmaster to tell you that your boat sank during the night /forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif /forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif /forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif

Our beloved Hardy 18 had been securely moored at Poole Marina and the waves were so high over the back of her that she was eventually swamped

What a sad sight

May
xx
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

Until you've collided with the Rubbish skip in Salcombe....
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

until you've started driving up the slipway without ensuring that the winch ratchet is engaged fully, dumping the boat on the slipway in front of loads of grockles in Swanage (apologies to my mate Pete for ratting on him)

or reversing off the side of the slip ot Bowleaze cove blocking the slip for about 3 hours (apologies to Paul for ratting on him)
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

Until after running out of beer at a barbi on the beach and get a lift back to boat to get more from a mates son on hi new 1200cc jetski, then on return trip utter the phrase "How fast does this go then" whilst holding onto beer rather than said jetski !!!! Four hours bangor A&E 3 broken ribs.

o less than a month later forget SWIMBO has washed mutt on swim platform, step on it bare feet which seem to dissapear from you. land on snap davit thing......... five hours Bangor A&E 5 stitches in hole inback of leg.

And the numpty one.......lose hosepipe nozzel attachment down Fresh water inlet pipe jamming it somewhere you cant find, spend next 6 years boating taking a good hour to fill up a 25 gallon tank.
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

.......... until you've burnt/melted your fender on the heater exhaust outlet.

.......... cast off, put gear lever into forward and found the engine had stopped.


.......... pressed the auto helm button on the instrument and gone round and round in circles trying to read the instructions on how to turn it off.
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

Have your 5 year old daughter tap you on the shoulders and say "Daddy should there be this much water in the back?" On looking round to find the poor child up to her knees in water in our 14ft Fletcher - that will be the bung then!!! Or not as the case maybe!!

She's now 20 but still can bring that one at inappropriate times /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

You're Not a Real Boater until... you call the after service team for your new boat in the middle of the solent to seek advice as your steering has failed - helm just rotates with no rudder movement

only to find you are still on auto pilot!


You're Not a Real Boater until... you reverse off the shore lift hoist and plant your pazzerelle into a big sunseekers bow cos your boat will not move forwards.

cos the bloke who removed the props when ashore replaced them backwards (arse about face) - forward throttle makes boat go astern see..
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

Your Not A real Boater . Until you can rhyme off umpteen different experiences and describe in vivid detail.

The epic story Of The Exploding Bog. /forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

[ QUOTE ]
You're Not a Real Boater until... you call the after service team for your new boat in the middle of the solent to seek advice as your steering has failed - helm just rotates with no rudder movement

only to find you are still on auto pilot!




[/ QUOTE ]

Or indeed put out a pan pan call to seek assistance with the same failure to disengage auto pilot.

And you're definitely not a real boater until you've stepped smartly off the boat onto the fuel dock and asked your 11 year old son to pass you a line only to find yourself holding a warp with no boat attached to it and the boat drifting off.
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

[ QUOTE ]
.......... until you've burnt/melted your fender on the heater exhaust outlet.


[/ QUOTE ]

...until you've spent the night on board, during the winter months. While the boat is in the slings of the boatyard travel hoist. And one of the slings has been positioned over the heater exhaust outlet. And you're a bit chilly, so you put the heating on...

Cheers
Jimmy
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

Until you have driven your MasterCraft through the back window of your Landrover whilst powering it onto the trailer.

Skiing until dark, running out of petrol and swimming the boat back home
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

Your'e not a real boater... until at anchor when emptying the porto potti from the bathing platform your mate comes swimming around your stern.
 
Re: You\'re Not a Real Boater ...

[ QUOTE ]
my husband reversed onto our berth at Fecamp only to wrap a mooring rope around his own props

He did get a round of applause

[/ QUOTE ]

ah yes, lovely summer afternoon in Lymington, hundreds of people watching the water traffic. I head for the pontoon just off the town quay, swing the boat round, and confidently reverse in as I had done in front of so many spectators, many times before ......directly over my own stern line which had come loose.
 
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