You are cordially invited

[claymore]

To take breakfast in the bilges of the good yacht Claymore.
They have been deep cleaned, scrubbed, polished, and danbolined in the finest white and it gives me great pleasure to nominate them as the cleanest, sparklingest, sweetest smelling bilges on the West Coast.
The price was not too high, 2 disposable brushes, 1 litre of Blakes Industrial Surface Cleaner, 1 bag of rags, 1 litre of Flash, 1 litre of Dettol, 2.5 litres of Danboline, 1 elbow, 3 ribs, a piece of nose, a flap of forehead, 2 elastoplasts, 3 sterile wipes and a thirst that 5 pints of lager went close to quenching.

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[Ohdrat]

Oh wonderful.. I and Charisma will be delighted to pay our respects to your immaculate bilges/forums/images/icons/laugh.gif

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[tcm]

blurgh! I hope you removed the cauliflowers first.

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[Twister_Ken]

Prophet of doom

Clean, shiny bilges, eh?

Just be very very careful to check the sump plug, fuel tank connections and heads oulet seacock before you next take Claymore out. Sod's law is alive and well and loves going boating.

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.writeforweb.com/twister1>Let's Twist Again</A>

 

[jimi]

Re: Prophet of doom

Just ensure your bilge pump is fitted the right way round or your nice clean bilges might get wet and drown the mushrooms in the cellar.

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[claymore]

Re: Prophet of doom

No problem - they all look really nice white instead of that bronzy sort of colour - I also found some stupid holes in the bulkheads where water can get through so I bunged them up and painted them too. There were some wires sticking out of a black plastic thingy and they kept getting in the way of my brush so I snipped them off and it all looks nice and neat now.

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[claymore]

Re: Prophet of doom

Oh now just all of you stop being silly - its not possible to get the bilge pump the wrong way round.......is it?

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[Twister_Ken]

Re: Prophet of doom

Totally impossible to fit a bilge pump nwod edispu.

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.writeforweb.com/twister1>Let's Twist Again</A>

 

[Aja]

Much prefer to take breakfast in your conservatory, my good man. Bilges is where the servants eat.

Donald

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[jimi]

Re: Prophet of doom

Well I beleive it is possible, but you think you'd notice after a couple of months, I know I would. I suppose you could keep mackeral that you catch in the bilges until you're hungry .. but they might eat the cauliflower... decisions.

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[tcm]

Re: stupid holes

very good. All the "stupid" holes must be plugged up to avoid contaminating the crew, but it may be too late. Don't use play-doh cos it dissolves, but Blu-tac doesn't. Some idiots simply don't have a basic understanding of boat maintenance, you know.

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[claymore]

Re: stupid holes

Well - its funny you mention that - I still have some old lumps of plasticene around and so I just used that - the white paint covered it up grand - I used the yellow as I thought it would cover better than the green and anyway, green is supposed to be unlucky - and then again, I might at some time in the future forget that I used green and mistaking it for an old lump of cauli-stalk, pull it out and then we'd be back to square one.
Quite right about all this maintenance nonsense really - much over-rated and probably just mythology peddled by the manufacturers. Did I ever tell you about the time I used 'No More Nails' to stop the top coming off the fluxgate? Still working 5 years on and I find that when you get the three readings from the Autopilot, the GPS and the one in the glass dome that spins around when you put the pliers next to it, all you need to do is work out which one is giving a reading that seems the closest to where you are trying to get to and go with that
So there we go - two myths blown in one post - the Maintenance Myth and the Navigation Myth.

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[tcm]

Re: deviation

i recently produced the deviation chart, which to the delight of SWMBO almost exactly matched the shape of our wake. Everyone was very impressed.

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[jonic]

Claymore,

Long time no forum.

We would love to come to breakfast, but after the caribbean we are now in the good 'ol USA where the pancake breakfasts are to die for. Probaly will soon if we keep eating them at the rate we are going. However we are briefly returning to the rain (UK) at the end of sept for the boatshow and as we are now broke from cruising would be delighted to let you buy us breakfast. If you can't be there in person just leave the cash with a member of the YM staff. They should know us as we are in it in November. Infamy at last.

Love john and Nicola


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[jimi]

Re: stupid holes

My maintenance on Friday evening to the ST4000 (involving a screwdriver, wrench, large hammer & WD40) now means the unit requires factory repair, its all the cop's fault who pulled me over on the way to the boat .. grrr!

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[BlueSkyNick]

Cops and \'robbers\'...

.... the later being the ones who hopefully fix the ST4000.

When you get their invoice, send it to the copper who stopped you and ask him to pay The Bill !!



<hr width=100% size=1>One day I am the dog, and the next day the lamp-post.

 

[claymore]

It'll make a nice change to pay for your breakfast instead of funding half the RNLI's fleet - so you are in YM in November. I must insist then on a signed copy otherwise no brekkies. We'll have to work out who amongst the YM staff are least likely to hi-jack the cash and scoff the grub - Messrs Hollamby and Jermain are no strangers to a breakfast table

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[davidhand]

What are you doing drinking lager? I've spent years trying to educate the Yanks about a good pint of bitter and now we have a Scot drinking lager! I remember years ago when they just broke through the Channel tunnel a reporter asked a Scottish engineer how big is the hole. "Just big enough to smell the garlic wafting through" he snapped.

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[claymore]

I hit the lager because the only other option was chilled draught guinness which disnae like me. I start with a bit of a palpitation which seems to go south quite quickly and erupts into the most dreadful wind. Thought you wouldn't mind me sharing that little vision with you!

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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