Yachtmaster student headaches

[tcm]

I am getting a headache with these damned YM theory questions. Here is a sample.

Q1: Eight barely-dressed wimmin turn up on your boat for a jolly around the bay on the 8th July at 11 am. The wind is north-westerly and the variation is 7 degrees and the poxy leeway is 5 degrees and the devaiton could be lots of things cos you will be on lots of different headings. Just how long are you going to pratt about with a plastic plotter and pencil and dividers before setting off and wouldn't it be more useful telling them how the bog works?

Q2: You have lost your 2B pencil somewhere in the boat and therefore can't do any more navigation. Detail the VHF emergency message.

Q3: The nutcase owner-skipper has bought some minesweeping equipment and lashed it on to the stern, and also raises the appropriate day signals for minesweeping, thereby bagging himself lots of room in the solent as the other boats have to stay 1,000 metres away. Tee Hee. But how do they do minesweeping nearer than 1000 metres to a marina, cos i mean, all the boats would have to clear off out of the marina, or be shuffled inland if they were out of the water, wouldn't they?



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[jimi]

You\'re a Failure

the first question is really a first aid situation and the nav stuff is just a distraction. What you must do in that situation is loosen clothing and inspect air passages

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[Twister_Ken]

Dear Student

It is important that you realise that study for an RYA certificate bears no relation to the situations you are likely to be confronted when actually in charge of a real yacht. Amongst all the sailors I know, none have been confronted with eight barely dressed women, for example (at least, not on a boat). We did have a rather nice blonde bikinied Finnette aboard once, courtesy of Nautor Swan. Unfortunately she brought her boyfriend along as a chaperone. He was built like Fort Knox, but better looking, and was a better boat jockey than any of us.

So you see, YM questions are divorced from reality. Otherwise, rather than worryng about the semi-naked lovelies, you'd be answering questions like...

...It is 2 a.m. and the rain is horizontal. You are entering a lock and the boat has slewed sideways in front of an oncoming river barge. The gear control lever has contrived to go up your oilskin trouser leg and wedge itself full ahead. In attempting to free it you lean forward, your glasses fall off and you break them with your other foot. At this point, your only crew jumps for the lock ladder and disappears, screaming, towards the nearest ferry port. How do you resolve the situation?

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[tcm]

Reality - stranger than fiction!

You are obviously making up the barge-bashing incident, whereas, although i was wrong with the date......

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[Rob_Webb]

Re: Reality - stranger than fiction!

Matt, I take dispute for two reasons:

1. I count 7 wimmin on deck not 8
2. They don't look 'barely-dressed' to me but decidely over-dressed!

Rob

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[tcm]

Re: Reality - stranger than fiction!

1. Number eight is taking the picture
2. They put some clothes back on for the pic

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[Rob_Webb]

Re: Reality - stranger than fiction!

Ahhh, shame on both counts!

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[Twister_Ken]

Dear student, you\'re on the wrong course

That's not a yacht - you need a pilot's licence for that thing.

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I trust the sheik tipped well when you delivered his special team of software developers?

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[Cornishman]

Re: Dear Student

Hey, Ken. I hope you haven't any more of my favourite situations that I set examinees. You are giving my game away!!!!!!

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[Birdseye]

If you cannot contemplate deviations and variations with 8 barely dressed women aboard, then maybe you should be studying for your yachtmaster down below, slippers on feet, cocoa(?) in hand.

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[Castletine]

The answer to Q1 is in the photo

The question is all about plotting your correct course, so here goes;

The deviation measurement is from the helm position on the bridge, to the drinks cabinet to ready the Pink Gins, to the captain's table for a quick rehearse of all those enticing nautical yarns, to the fordeck to entertain and captivate all those lovelies.

Bottoms up!

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