Will Sailing ever be the same?

Richard, this is one area of which i have no knowledge at all! My kids had flown the nest by the time i got the sailing bug. But look at our French colleagues, never ceases to amaze me how many grannies, aunts, children neices and nephews they stuff into modest sized boats! One 880 came into SPP with 2 adults and 4 teenagers on board! And in my experience, teenagers take up a hell of a lot more space than little ones. Don't do anything in a hurry, but you are right, it will be a long time before you will be able to enjoy the same lifestyle again (and that includes skiing.....!!!). And it may be that the most economical way to continue sailing at the moment is to sail on other peoples boats. But you could start saving up for a 1200 or even a 1300, or maybe not, seeing as how you are extending your house! The very best wishes to you and all your family.
 
Hi Richard, a beautiful sight...congratulations and well done mum!

We have two wonderful kids, now mid and late twenties. From the start we tried to allow them to fit into our lives as much as possible and not allow them to change us too much. Easy to say, difficult to do but worth the effort.
My friends who have twins also gave them their own time apart right from day one, so they were not over dependent upon each others company and have grown up very much more independant than some twins because of it.
As much as possible hang on to your own identity and to the relationship you had with SWMBO before the babes came along.... and hang on to your friends and interests wherever possible.
keep us all informed.... they could grow up with a huge 'family' of friends from YBW.
My daughter is now better qualified than me with her RYA exams....and my son sails my boat better than me.
Perhaps you could get the triplets trained up and run your own sailing school?

best wishes... Scotty
 
Well my missus has just had her first scan, my brother with his 16wk baby has been around and we have already been discussing the same thing.

He opening gambit was putting the boat ashore for 2 years until the babies were a bit older, I am glab to see that this thread is confirming what I have been thinking.

Our Westerly Oceanranger should be ok as we have two seperate cabins with 4 berths excluding the saloon which had a pilot berth and two singles either side of the table.

I will have to get a copy of that book!

Congrats on the triplets they must be a real handful now, how did you get on?
 
Thanks for asking.

Triplets doing great, but have only managed to get to the boat twice mainly to check up on her. Recent picture of the girls

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Congratulations.

Current situation, eldest daughter 5 and youngest 18months who has yet to sleep a whole night and the eldest has decided to join in with being awake during the night so we have family rondevous at 3am and 5am(sometimes).

Recently I have been looking for a bigger boat to take the family away; gave up as just could not afford it. Interestingly decided I was going to down size for just me and I was about to go and look at two smaller boats when SWMBO suddenly said it would be a shame to sell the boat and give up on visiting places on the boat, so full of glee I started looking at places to visit over the summer!! Yeeepppeee.

So for us with the first being a baby was easy and I took the boat to France (ony 30miles) and SWMBO joined with daughter by ferry. Then did a house up and only managed lunch on the boat a few times but daughter loved it. Playing hide and seek and swinging from the main halyard in the bosuns chair.

This summer we made two day trips to local bays and anchored and swam etc. I also had a few trips across the bay with just me and eldest (5) on board. We have also had lunches on the boat to help No2 have time to dance on the chart table and push every button/switch to see what it does.

The plan for this summer is emerging as me and eldest take boat to France over two days and SWMBO joining by car with youngest who will be two.

All I can give you are examples because each situation is unique and you must do what is right for you.

By the way I have been away by myself regularly and managed two weeks with a friend this summer.
 
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You're based in the solent - so as long as money isn't the problem then I'd keep the boat and just use it as a base to get to various places - even if you just use the motor ...

At that age they should sleep quite a bit (so I'm told) so you should have time for short sails where you're away from the housework and other jobs so you can relax a little more.

In the Solent you can get most places in an hour or two - so with a bit of planning you can have really short hops then just stop.
 
Richard - top job! many congrats to you and Marie

I'd keep the RM for now - although we took the girls out on a wayfarer from as young as 2 a) only for short trips and b) that's still 2 years away for you. Not v easy on a boat until they can at least stand and move around on their own.

Good to get them going young though

And unless I come into oyster money anytime soon - no... you can't have her back!!
 
sighmoon said:
I heard about a couple that used to race a wayfarer with young twins stuffed on top of the buoyancy chamber under the foredeck.
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I've been that kid, although we never did any racing.

Tended to be when I got cold, despite the big white woolly jumper that, together with a pair of nylon "waterproof" overtrousers, was my usual sailing rig. Tucked up under the foredeck got me out of the wind to warm up.

Pete
 
congrats - wow!

whilst we have 3 (albeit now 15/17/19 ) - they are at 2 yr spacing so no practical experience of 3 at same age at same time ,

but,

we carried on sailing throughout and never found being on the boat harder (or easier) than being at home with them or camping or visiting rellies/friends , the actual sailing was straightforward and we always found that as with travelling in the car - the movement and noises seemed to settle them when young rather than unsettle them ,

suspect that the logistics of being able to all spend time afloat will follow naturally from how "easy!" it is looking after them all at home and away - from our experience there was absolutely no reason not to take babies on board but I do look forward to rafting up with you in a few years time when you have 3 toddlers and can imagine then the logistics of getting 3+ push chairs etc etc back and forth will be impressive - many many congrats (ps like the design RM too and be a great shame to sell it - at least small people take up less space on board than big people )
 
rb_stretch said:
To answer other post, SWMBO can sail, but is not a confident sailor and would not like to be in charge of the vessel. .
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Her worrying about the sprogs safety will likely only make this worse.

The likelyhood is that your sailing will be single handing / with the lads. Add into that - kids dont come f.o.c. so will you have enough dosh to keep the boat and the kids? Child care costs / loss of wifely income. Bear in mind that unlike most of us who could use the first child's grown out of clothes for the second one, you will have to buy three of everything.

My guess would be that your sailing future depends on your income and whether you are happy to single hand leaving swmbo at home with the kids. Only time will tell so I wouldnt sell the boat now - wait until you can see how things are panning out.

Even if you have to give up the boat, it will all be worth it. Nothing more significant in your life than your kids.:)
 
Congratulations Richard.

For me (and frankly I can only know the half (?!) of it as we have two girls two years apart), the general advice so far is spot on. Don't panic and don't sell - particularly as selling will cost you a large lump of capex by the time you've bought again at a higher price. Of course life won't be the same, but you knew that. It'll take time to acclimatise and re-build a lifestyle with some sailing in it around the kids. But:

* While they're still that small, stick 'em in the forepeak (http://www.rm-yachts.com/contenu/,rm_880,41?chglg=en) with a lee cloth athwartships so they're safe. They sleep most of the time anyway, and we found that the motion of the boat sent them straight to sleep.

* Short passages are the key, and in the Solent you're ideally placed. It's a real trade-off between going for what you or I would call a proper sail, and being denied the pleasure of sailing at all. But it's well worth it in the short term, and in the longer term you'll have them sailing with you. So make the sacrifice of short passages with family, and then arrange the odd blast with a mate to blow the cobwebs away. A short sail around the Solent, some time ashore, and then a short sail back is much better (was for me anyway!) than not going sailing.

* That cockpit is going to constrain you: you won't get any health & safety awards for introducing infants - let alone three of them - to an open transom, traveller car, gybing mainsheet and rotating tiller. So perhaps after a while (the sleeping-down-below phase) you need to reconsider boat type. Depends much on SWMBO's attitude to sailing and to your leisure time!

Kids are remarkably tolerant, as they only know what they're used to. You have to be sensible about safety of course, and have procedures and stick to them. And you just don't go out with family in a blow - especially in an RM880! But then enjoy and take it easy, and don't make hard and fast plans, and you'll be fine.

Good luck and have fun!
 
Keep the boat and give it a go. You will be surprised at how soothing a yacht is for babies. A nice sail on a nice day and you and your wife will be in a different world with the triplets dozing along.

Only take on the boat the baby bags, not the buggies. Make up some in fill panels between the table and saloon berths and line them with cushions. Instant play pen.
 
Never had triplets - but general rules for sailing with smalls for us:

One hand for the boat. One for the under 5's. For one of the crew the kids are the first priority at all times. If the kids are asleep then fine - the moment they wake then its children first for that person. Doesnt matter whats happening on the boat, thats up to the rest of the crew. If theres only two of you, then you are effectively single handing, and you have to plan accordingly. That usually means shorter passages, more care about indifferent weather, and boat handling thought out for shorthanded sailing.

Family sailing: once they are old enough to want to 'do' things, the cruise has to be planned beach to beach; a day at sea must be followed by a day ashore; plenty of activity materials on board for seatime;

Beautiful views - of the kind us adults like to sit back and enjoy are of no value to smalls. Yes it is a pretty mountain, headland, rainbow, etc, but what do you DO with it when you are only 5 years old!? Unless you can get off the boat and go and play with it, climb it or whatever.

SAFETY - Never, ever, compromise the rules with small children about. The only time I had one OB was off the inflatable going ashore. Only 150 ft trip ashore: ' dont have to wear lifejackets do we Dad...' (whiney tone). 'Yes - put it on, or we dont go'. We would have lost him if he hadn't been wearing it.

And finally as they get older dont worry about rough sea. Mum and dad in cockpit worried about worsening conditions, LJ's and harnesses on, boat going like a roller coaster. Are the boys OK down below? You bet they were! Loving every minute of it wave spotting through the saloon windows, - and wanting it to get rougher; MUCH rougher!
 
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oldharry said:
And finally as they get older dont worry about rough sea. Mum and dad in cockpit worried about worsening conditions, LJ's and harnesses on, boat going like a roller coaster. Are the boys OK down below? You bet they were! Loving every minute of it wave spotting through the saloon windows, - and wanting it to get rougher; MUCH rougher!
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Love it. Just need to figure out the equivalent for girls!

Agree on the priorities bit, we're gonna have to get our creative heads on for every trip to make sure the itinerary works for the little-uns.
 
Huge congratulations. A very quick message of support: we have 3 children - a 6 year old and 5 year old twins. We had a small motor boat when they were all born, and bought a wooden motorsailer when the twins were 1. Our first proper sailing holiday was when the twins were 1.5 and the eldest was just 3 but we had had lots of days out on the old boat before then. We've never had any help with them and they are boat obsessed. We fitted netting to the guardrails and have just graduated to a grown-up yacht now that the twins are 5. It's so easy, and they all love the boat. We have a very heavy duty tender and our attitude to safety is that they all wear lifejackets when out in the cockpit. Our best times have been on the boat and a suggestion of a weekend on the water is always met with squeals of joy. You do not need to compromise. And you will get so many older people admiring your stamina!

Good luck.
 
Thanks for the message. Very encouraging, so I will be showing SWMBO.

I certainly would be more comfortable in a motorboat or motorsailer, so despite the fact that it is a waste of an RM I suspect I will be treating it as such :-)
 
frankthompson said:
Any of my wives ever got broody I went out and bought a labrador.
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How many do you have? :eek:

a) Wives?

b) Labradors?

:o Sorry, couldn't resist....


Back on topic, "Kids in the cockpit" is a book that has an honest and practical take on the situation - wish I'd found it when ours were that age.

Andy
 
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