Wife and Skipper?

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cnancekievill

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After having been mistaken for the husband/skipper in a previous post it got me wondering if there are any more wife/skippers out there sailing with a nervous husband rather than a nervous wife?

My husband is wonderful and not the timid sort at all but he is still a bit concerned about heading out into the north sea and wants to stay near the coast. I keep pointing out that this is where all the rocks are but its not helping! Which brings me on to the point that wives aren't by there nature un-adventurous, it's just a lack of experience. You wouldn't put a small child on a rollercoaster and expect them to enjoy it. You'd start on a merry-go-round and build up over several years. I remember my first gale very well but can hardly recall the most recent one!

Anyway, feminist rant off! I'm sure you're all very patient with you sailing partner (of whatever gender) :-).
 
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Wife and Skipper? .....I'm sure you're all very patient

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Hmmm. It depends which role is predominant.

Personally, when I find wimmin-on-board-at-sea asking if we could please keep our wet oilie jackets hung up and why can't someone wash up the coffee mugs during the night watch, I find myself wondering if the Good Lord couldn't have done a better job if he had picked a different rib.....


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The major problem most blokes find out when they get to 40/50, and have enough cash and time to own a boat, is that their wives arn't interested. They don't like getting wet/muddy/ being out in any sort of weather, in short they don't have what I call the camping mentality.

I feel very lucky to be able to go boating and I am very pleased with my lot. I don't envey people with better, more expensive boats, I just want to pootle about the East Coast rivers and estuaries and enjoy the peacefull environment and the wildlife. I also like a pint at the end of the day and am not worried about getting back to my boat in the dinghy on a dark wet night.

I am pleased to hear that there are a few women about who are genuinely keen on boating and are capable of handling a boat on thier own. There are not very many of you about.
 
Not sure if I count as my Husband (well he will be this time in 6 weeks) is far from timid on the boat, however I am a female skipper, and though Pat has far more experience than me we are both happy handling/skippering the boat without the other on board. For insurance purposes I am definitely the skipper as I have all the bits of paper, I bring the boat into and out of marinas as this is what we find works best, though most harbourmasters tend to direct berthing instructions to Pat rather than me. We make joint decisions about whether to head out or not and usually default to the safest option, though it could be either of us that suggests this. I actually feel so lucky that we are both equally happy standing a solo watch as it makes for relaxing cruising, however I do enjoy taking the girls out sailing so I have all the responsibility myself.... sometimes it's too easy with both of us on board.
 
We have met many lady skippers including one boat that left the husbands behind and did the Atlantic together.

As for male and female it does not matter. Normally one of the partners is the skipper. The other then feels a complete lack of control.

I thought being patient is what you do with children, passengers and cooks. Partners need trust and opportunity.

Going below for a sleep and with orders to wake them if anything happens is not trust. Going down and saying wake me if you can not cope alone, is trust.

However, a lot of cruising couples we have met are actually lone skippers with a passenger but it seems to work for them.

Whatever, re-building a boat with dreams of happy sailing and adventure is not guaranteed. Of the 10 boats that were being rebuilt in our yard only 4 actually made it. It is fraught with danger and none of it has to do with rocks. Take care and wish you well. After 5 years rebuilding an old boat and then 7 years living on it I would not have missed it for anything but I would have done a few things different at the start!

The day I got seriously ill and was only woken when safely in the destination harbour was a real turning point for us as a couple sailing together.

As for setting the boat up for single handing I would agree, but a fully batterned main sail is the most alarming thing when you are in trouble. When you let the halyard go it comes down at speed. One 50 foot boat in California ended up with the slides shattering the plastic ends when he did an emergency drop. Ball bearings everywhere. He said the situation became like a cartoon. Keep it simple.
 
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As for male and female it does not matter. Normally one of the partners is the skipper. The other then feels a complete lack of control.

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A dear friend of mine is the (lady) skipper on the boat I race. Racing of course we have a full crew and something of a hierarchy.

When the two of us sail on my boat, I am skipper. On hers, she is. Regardless, we rarely have to talk much about the sailing, just moving from task to task based on whatever needs to be done next and who is available to do it. It's truly lovely.

Unfortunately she has a boyfriend.
 
Good friends of ours have a problem. She sails dinghies and they have a Leisure 20 too. He always insists on handling the engine and tiller (a control thing?) but she likes to sail. He gets nervous when the wind blows as he feels out of control. He thinks the answer is a bigger boat (thinking centre cockpit Westerly Pentland type) but she thinks he just needs to learn how to sail. I suggested a dinghy course but no way would he get in one.

I don't which of them is skipper but he says "drop the sails" she has to jump to it!
 
Mrs Morgana was telling me on Saturday of the enjoyable day spent learning with you. Patrick was obviously missing you tell him what to do last weekend /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
The boat is the only place where SWMBO relinquishes any control of anything to anyone. She's a self confessed control freak. SWMBO gets to set the destinations and it's up to me to get us there. Even then, she insists on starting the engine if the wind drops because she hates to be late for anything, even an ETA.

However, she's getting more and more confident on the boat and it's only a matter of time before she takes control there, to.
 
I suppose "Wife and Skipper" is another way of saying "Master and Commander"!
 
To right!

Gosh you lot aren't half bossed around by your wives, I'm sure my husband wouldn't say that about me, especially if he knew the trouble he'd be in if he did ;-)

Thanks for all your good wishes and advice, the point about the main coming down so fast is a good one. I can see a little friction can be a good thing.
 
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