Tuesday Troll

BurnitBlue

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A Tuesday Troll … Hierarchy of sail.

At the top we have the pure racing sailors. These folk are fit and courageous and sail in all weathers. They also have to be intelligent because they must understand three sets of col-regs; official, club, and personal.

Next in line come the Cruiser-Racer sailors. They are also fit and courageous but lack the killer instinct to be really successful. They also suffer the disadvantage of being polite and tend to adhere to official col-regs.

Next are the Cruiser sailors. The backbone of the Yachting Industry. They like travel and are versatile, intelligent, curious, and helpful to other sailors except Jet Ski riders. They suffer considerable anguish when faced with a Jet Ski in distress because their natural inclination to rescue them is often overruled by the thought that one less Jet Ski must be good for the environment. The Sargasso Sea is full of drifting skeletons on jet skis. I wish.

Next we have the Long-distance Ocean yachtsman. These sailors have large yachts equipped with radar, GPS plotters, SSB, microwave ovens, laptops, washing machines, refrigerators, RIBs, outboards, self-steering gear, EPIRB, sat phones, TV, etc, and last but not least stacks of cash and debit cards hidden under the mattress. They then anchor off third world fishing villages and complain about being boarded and robbed.

Next in line we have the Liveaboard. These are not sailors because they never sail anywhere except to change winter quarters. Their boats are all shape and sizes and the decks are often, but not always, littered with water containers, rusty bicycles, buckets, bits of plywood and other trash. Occasionally, a liveaboard can be found stood on the aft deck tinkering with a home made wind vane which has the same use as a GB plate on the back of a car. Their sole subject of conversation, year round, is where to moor up for the next winter. YBW forum administrators who understand all things have added a special forum for them quarantined well away from normal folk.

Next, after liveaboards we have … nothing. That it folks. There is nothing below a liveaboard. They are the end of the line.

I said it was a troll.
 
What about people who keep meaning to get a boat, and can tell you the width length beam, sailing characteristics of every single one, but cant bring themselves to actually do it. Sounds like a liveaboard only no boat, therefore liveathomes.
Then there are the Windsurfers and Dinghy Sailors, what about them.
This subject is not a troll at all, its half a troll.
 
Another two for the list. At the very top I'd put the intrepid wanderers in low-tech wooden boats equipped with oil lamps, a good watch and a sextant.

Then, below the liveaboards but above the liveathomes are the perpetual builders/restorers, now into their umpteenth year working on their dream, but finding with each passing year that inflation is pushing the cost of rigging and fitting out further out of their reach.
 
You cant possibly put racing sailors at the top of the list. They're the marine equivalent of white van man - ignoring any and every rule, sailing without any consideration for anyone else, intent only on getting there the fastest possible way.

PS Cant bear to see a man post a troll and then have everyone agree with him /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
 
Only section of marine society missing is Mobos. Above Jetskiers. But only just.

Donald
 
And the project builders? They start out as aspiring liveaboards but enjoy the boat building so much, and are secretly afraid of the sea, really, so they spend their entire lives in sawdust-filled barns eternally re-varnishing coamings, scarphing gunwhales and laminating grunt-futtocks.
 
I was wondering about the racing fraternity too. I got "don't knock it 'till you've tried it" last time I accused racers of having their own set of rules. I keep out of their way at the moment, but as soon as I think I can "colreg" my way throught a huge mass of racing yachts safely and without breaking any rules, I will. Just exercising my right to be in a certain position at any time I like, you understand! /forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

Err, whats this hook suddenly doing in my mouth!
 
[ QUOTE ]
leprechaun............... /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Well that's a first! Begorragh /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif.

Donald
 
Birmingham Navy?
They live miles from the sea and have no knowledge whatsoever of tides, weather, charts, colregs or safety. They buy a boat on e-bay, tow it to the coast & set off without checking engines, safety gear, anchor or radio.
Don't believe me? Ask the Harbour masters & RNLI of any Welsh harbour!!!
Only to be outdone by people who let their kids play on inflatable toys in an offshore breeze & no safety rope!
 
There is another category which I would call the 'one hit wonders'.

These are the guys who, in the pub, say that they are going to do Hamble to Levkas in 'one hit' starting tomorrow.

Next day they are moored up in Gosport wondering where it all went wrong!
 
Where do the PURISTS go? You know, no engine, do it all with compass, parallels and a chart. GPS? Don't believe in it. Chart plotter? Wossat. Bucket and chuckit and first editions of selected Maurice Griffiths and Erskine Childers. /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
 
[ QUOTE ]
Where do the PURISTS go? You know, no engine, do it all with compass, parallels and a chart. GPS? Don't believe in it. Chart plotter? Wossat. Bucket and chuckit and first editions of selected Maurice Griffiths and Erskine Childers. /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[/ QUOTE ]They're with the skeletons of the jetskiers in the Sargasso Sea.
 
Happy to report I must be the lowest of the low, livaboard and offshore scum with it...

Only 365 days a year on the water, I'll try to do better.

/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif
 
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