tuesday joke

sailorman

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A firefighter was working outside the station when he noticed a little girl in a little red wagon with little ladders on the sides, a garden hose coiled in the middle, and wearing a firefighter's helmet.

The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.

The firefighter took a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire-truck,"The fire fighter said with admiration.

"Thanks," the girl said.

The firefighter noticed the girl had tied the wagon to her dog's
collar, and to the cat's testicles.

"Little Partner," the firefighter said, "I don't want to tell you
how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster."

The little girl replied thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but...then I wouldn't have a siren."


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A Day at the Zoo

A man starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.

First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds.

As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To
show the others who's boss he beats it to death with a spade.

Realising his employer won't be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.

Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house
He is attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade, killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything.


He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure. He moved on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees.

As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and throws them into the lion's cage because lions eat anything.


Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another
lion and says "What's the food like here?"

The lion answers "Absolutely brilliant. Today we had fish and chimps
with mushy bees."



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A Fairy told a married couple: "For being such an exemplary married couple for 35 years, I will give you each a wish"
“I want to travel around the world with my dearest husband" said the wife.
The fairy moved her magic stick and abracadabra! Two tickets appeared in her hands.
Now it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment and said:
"Well this moment is very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime. So....I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me".
The wife was deeply disappointed but, a wish was a wish. The Fairy made a circle with her magic stick and.......abracadabra!...
Suddenly the husband was 90 years old.

Men might be ba****ds.

But Fairies are....................Female!


<hr width=100% size=1>If work was so good, the rich would have kept more of it for themselves.
 
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