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Sans Bateau

Sans Bateau

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19 Jan 2004
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This year I will be taking an ordinary holiday, not the usual two weeks afloat.

We will be doing a car based touring holiday in France in July, visiting Epernay and Burgundy, finishing up in SoF, so not all bad.

I haven't done this sort of holiday for years, looking around at the typical tourist, they seem to wear badly fitting shorts, tasteless shirts and a bum bag. Is there anything else I should get to blend in? How should I ensure I look a typical 'Brit' in France?
 
Dont forget to wear socks with your sandals. On no account speak any french. /forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gif
 
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On no account speak any french

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Yes I have already been told best way to make them understand is to speak loudly and clearly, well clearly isnt important but loudly is, especially at supermarket checkouts.
 
If you want to blend in right away, apply blusher liberally to face and neck. Wear a football shirt and never be seen without a can of beer. Insist on being served proper English food like pizza or curry.
 
You need some or all of the following:

Open-toed sandals, worn with white socks underneath.

"Branded" sunglasses (Oakley, or some such)

Baseball cap, ideally worn the wrong way round (particularly if you're a "bruvva" from the "hood" (West Dulwich))

Bottle-blond wife with undersized Lacoste T-shirt, revealing several inches of unappetising, oversized stomach.

T-shirt for yourself, bearing the legend "Ne me frappez pas; je suis le proprietaire d'un bateau Francais insubmersible".

Should do you OK.

PS: In Epernay, you will identify yourself instantly as un Anglais if you say "Give me a nice drop of Asti Spumante any day" at regular intervals. /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif
 
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T-shirt for yourself, bearing the legend "Ne me frappez pas; je suis le proprietaire d'un bateau Francais insubmersible".


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T-shirt for yourself, bearing the legend "Ne me frappez pas; je suis le proprietaire d'un bateau BELGE insubmersible".
 
Treat all shopkeepers and restaurateurs on the assumption that they are ripping you off. If they smile, know that you've been done.
On the other hand, if someone barges into you or rams you at as you're stopped at a light, say 'sorry'.
 
[ QUOTE ]
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On no account speak any french

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes I have already been told best way to make them understand is to speak loudly and clearly, well clearly isnt important but loudly is, especially at supermarket checkouts.

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Yes.... I must agree with that.... Don't attempt to speak any French with them as it seems that most of them don't understand well spoken French anyway, so it's a waste of effort! For example, there I was in a harbourside cafe in Marsaille asking the Garlikon (waiter for the non-French speakers) for a cuppa in best French, "Unai cuppa char silverplate mon sewer" and the blighter didn't even understand his own language! Thinking about it, p'raps he was one of these Australian chappies who seem to have taken over all the waiting jobs in bars and cafes worldwide and whose French isn't as good as mine yet? /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif
 
I will of course in true British fashion stay in the outside lane after I have overtaken, keeping all the other cars behind me, can't see why they dont do that more in Europe, saves all that work with the steering wheel pulling back in.
 
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Bottle-blond wife with undersized Lacoste T-shirt, revealing several inches of unappetising, oversized stomach.


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I am not sure if I should admit this, but I always quite fancy those ones.
 
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