kindredspirit
Well-known member
A catholic priest decided it was time to do his bi-monthly perambulations around the outback in search of new converts.
After a couple of days he arrives into the Abo camp near Kidwooga Creek. He sees an old man sitting in the corner chewing on a roo tail and he wanders over.
“Hey. Flourbag” he says, “What religun are you?” “Methodist, Boss” the old man replies. The priest says “Howja like to become a cathlic?” “That’s fine by me, Boss” the old man replies.
So the priest lifts him up by the ear and takes him over to the creek. Dipping him in 3 times he says “You be cathlic, you be cathlic, you be cathlic.” So after telling him about catholic things like not eating meat on Fridays and so on, he leaves on his way to the next camp.
A couple of months goes by and the priest is repeating his rounds, and he comes into Kidwooga Creek again on a Friday and what should he see, but the old man again sitting in a corner chewing on a roo tail.
He goes over to him and says “Hey, Flourbag, what’s this? I thought you was a cathlic. It’s Friday! What you doing chewing on a roo tail?”
“Well, Boss, it’s like this” the old man replies. “We was on a hunt and we bags us a real fine roo. We comes back to camp and cooks him over the fire. I takes the tail because I’m partial to roo tail.”
“But, Flourbag,” says the priest “that’s meat and you’re a cathlic and you can’t eat meat on a Friday!” “Aah! But, Boss” says the old man, “I went down to the creek, dipped him in 3 times and I said “You be fish, you be fish, you be fish!!!!!!!
Reminds me of the time…………………………..
There was this guy shooting ducks on the Murray River. Well, as you all know, the Murray River is the border between New South Wales and Victoria. Although, its the bank of the Murray on the Victoria side that is the actual boundary.
It’s the closed season in Victoria but in New South Wales it’s open season all year round. So, there’s this guy, banging away goodoh…..and the ducks are falling, splash, splash. Suddenly he hears this shout “What are you doing? Don’t you know its closed season here in Victoria?” and he turns around and there’s the warden all red faced on the bank.
So he says “But these are New South Wales ducks, and it’s open season over there.”
“They’re not New South Wales ducks” says the warden, They’re Victoria ducks”
“How do you know?” says the guy.
“Bring one over here” says the warden “and I’ll soon tell you!”
So, the guy wades out and retrieves a duck from the water and hands it to the warden. The warden takes the duck, lifts up it’s tail feathers, pokes in his finger, withdraws it and takes a sniff. “By golly, you’re right” he says to the guy “That’s a New South Wales duck, alright.” “But…….” he says “that over there is a Victoria duck” pointing to another duck on the water.
So the guy wades out again, retrieves another duck, hands it to the warden who lifts up it’s tail feathers, inserts his finger, withdraws his finger, takes an almighty sniff and says “I got you now. That’s a Victoria duck! I’ll have to take your name etc for prosecution.”
So he takes his name and then says “What’s your address?”
“Richmond” says the guy.
“Is that Richmond, New South Wales or Richmond, Victoria?” says the warden.
So the guy turns around, takes down his trousers, bends over and says “Seeing that you’re so bl**** clever, mate, YOU TELL ME!!!!!!!!!
<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.begleys.com/weather.htm>Useful links for Irish waters.</A>
After a couple of days he arrives into the Abo camp near Kidwooga Creek. He sees an old man sitting in the corner chewing on a roo tail and he wanders over.
“Hey. Flourbag” he says, “What religun are you?” “Methodist, Boss” the old man replies. The priest says “Howja like to become a cathlic?” “That’s fine by me, Boss” the old man replies.
So the priest lifts him up by the ear and takes him over to the creek. Dipping him in 3 times he says “You be cathlic, you be cathlic, you be cathlic.” So after telling him about catholic things like not eating meat on Fridays and so on, he leaves on his way to the next camp.
A couple of months goes by and the priest is repeating his rounds, and he comes into Kidwooga Creek again on a Friday and what should he see, but the old man again sitting in a corner chewing on a roo tail.
He goes over to him and says “Hey, Flourbag, what’s this? I thought you was a cathlic. It’s Friday! What you doing chewing on a roo tail?”
“Well, Boss, it’s like this” the old man replies. “We was on a hunt and we bags us a real fine roo. We comes back to camp and cooks him over the fire. I takes the tail because I’m partial to roo tail.”
“But, Flourbag,” says the priest “that’s meat and you’re a cathlic and you can’t eat meat on a Friday!” “Aah! But, Boss” says the old man, “I went down to the creek, dipped him in 3 times and I said “You be fish, you be fish, you be fish!!!!!!!
Reminds me of the time…………………………..
There was this guy shooting ducks on the Murray River. Well, as you all know, the Murray River is the border between New South Wales and Victoria. Although, its the bank of the Murray on the Victoria side that is the actual boundary.
It’s the closed season in Victoria but in New South Wales it’s open season all year round. So, there’s this guy, banging away goodoh…..and the ducks are falling, splash, splash. Suddenly he hears this shout “What are you doing? Don’t you know its closed season here in Victoria?” and he turns around and there’s the warden all red faced on the bank.
So he says “But these are New South Wales ducks, and it’s open season over there.”
“They’re not New South Wales ducks” says the warden, They’re Victoria ducks”
“How do you know?” says the guy.
“Bring one over here” says the warden “and I’ll soon tell you!”
So, the guy wades out and retrieves a duck from the water and hands it to the warden. The warden takes the duck, lifts up it’s tail feathers, pokes in his finger, withdraws it and takes a sniff. “By golly, you’re right” he says to the guy “That’s a New South Wales duck, alright.” “But…….” he says “that over there is a Victoria duck” pointing to another duck on the water.
So the guy wades out again, retrieves another duck, hands it to the warden who lifts up it’s tail feathers, inserts his finger, withdraws his finger, takes an almighty sniff and says “I got you now. That’s a Victoria duck! I’ll have to take your name etc for prosecution.”
So he takes his name and then says “What’s your address?”
“Richmond” says the guy.
“Is that Richmond, New South Wales or Richmond, Victoria?” says the warden.
So the guy turns around, takes down his trousers, bends over and says “Seeing that you’re so bl**** clever, mate, YOU TELL ME!!!!!!!!!
<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.begleys.com/weather.htm>Useful links for Irish waters.</A>