The real virtual cruise

[jimi]

Just setting off now, thought I go to Fecamp, quite a nice angle on the wind.

 

[phatcat1]

I find Fois Gras followed by Mussels give the best wind angle in Fecamp!

 

[ChrisE]

Sorry can\'t make it today

Can I be the first to virtually withdraw from the virtual cruise, I'm at the foot of my stairs.

 

[jimi]

Re: Sorry can\'t make it today

No you not, your on board my wee boat washing the cutlery after our sumptious pot noodle repast .. so do'nt pretend otherwise!

 

[zefender]

I'm with 4 crew on our Oppie with inmast mainsail reefing system and all lines brought back to the cockpit. We're just approaching CH1 and the davits have released the tender and are now jammed. Can anyone help or should I call in at PBO?

 

[phatcat1]

Does this mean you have a tender behind?

 

[jimi]

Sack Davits, he's friggin useless

 

[phatcat1]

Does this mean you need a virtual tow from my RNLI sponsored virtual 55 ft twin-engined Hunter Sonata turbo trimaran oppie-basher?

If so, Where to?

 

[zefender]

Well we did have but since the tender, at 2.3m, is a bit longer than our fine craft, it's overtaken us and we've now got a tender front, if you're with me. And Jimi, to suggest that one of my crew, Dave Davits, is useless is a gross insult to him. When he becomes leader of the Con party he'll remember that.

 

[zefender]

Yes, but mind yer wake, with 4 of us, we're a little low on virtual freeboard. Also, please bear in mind that we're being towed by our tender and thus we will then be three - it'll look a bit like a Moonsail flotilla holiday.

 

[jimi]

With due respect, after listening to Theresa May on Question time last night, the suggestion that a member of the Con party is capable of any cerebral function is, quike frankly, ludicrous!

 

[phatcat1]

Don't worry, my virtual crew of Debbie Harry, Kim Basinger, Kim Wilde, Kylie & Danni Minogue, Naomi Campbell and Hallie Berry will tow you with the new Virtual towing warp, you won't even know it is there!

Virtual towing speed will be Mach 1, so it won't take long to get anywhere!

Jordan will supply extra buoyancy for you.

Just hang on to your pot-poodle.

 

[jimi]

Our Bavaria has sank cos the keel fell off whilst slamming to windward in a F3 .. pity cos we were going quite well until then. Anyway we are carrying on using the ribber dinghy and Mr Enstone's blue flag as a steadying device.

 

[phatcat1]

Keel.....!!!!!!!! You had a KEEL??????????????????

 

[zefender]

Blimey, what a crew. As a result, we might look a bit more like a ketch when you arrive closeby.

 

[zefender]

That'll be OK, just take the rudder off the Bav and fit it instead of the dodgy one on your Bene. Should be an improvement. Be sure to keep the same sail number though so as to avoid confusing the virtual committee boat.

 

[ChrisE]

Re: Sorry can\'t make it today

OK, so I've washed the pots and put the FB in the oven for later and I've started to defrost the Bambiburgers for the nibbles on the pontoon. What next O master?

 

[ChrisE]

MOB

Oi, I'm still aboard you didn't take me!

 

[jimi]

Ach .. real sailors do'nt need rudders .. just create drag, mate. 'S ok we've found a boat, nice man on a wee Oyster picked us up. said he was going to Cherbourg, gave him a couple of funny fags so he's dozed off . Anyway we've switched the engine off and are now reaching toward Fecamp

 

[jimi]

Re: MOB

Yes we did, you did'nt notice cos you were looking at Gemma's legs. Now go and do some tandoori chicken legs on this nice boat.