The Pufferman's Song (for Claymore)

[webcraft]

The Pufferman\'s Song (for Claymore)

The Puffermen's Song

Oh! The Crinan Canal for me,
I don't like the wild raging sea,
It would be too terrific to cross the Pacific,
Or sail to Japan or Fiji.
A life on the Spanish Main,
I think would drive me insane,
The big foaming breakers would give me the shakers,
The Crinan Canal for me.

Chorus: Oh! The Crinan Canal for me,
I don't like the wild raging sea,
The big foaming breakers would give me the shakers,
The Crinan Canal for me.

It's the Crinan Canal for me,
From sea terrors there you are free,
There's no shark or whale that would make you turn pale,
Or shiver or shake at the knee.
I would nae like leavin' ma bones,
In a locker beside Davy Jones,
From Ardrishaig to Crinan's the best trip A'hve bin in,
The Crinan Canal for me.

Chorus:

Aye the Crinan Canal for me,
It's neither too big nor too wee,
Oh! It's lovely and calm when you're frying your ham,
Or makin' a nice cup of tea.
You can go for a stroll on its banks,
To loosen your muscle bound shanks,
You can darn your socks while you're still in its locks,
The Crinan Canal for me.

Chorus:

 

[jimi]

The poofy man\'s song for Nicho

Oh he is a mobo man
and he lets his wee pal steer
and he hold's his effin hand
cos the bugger's queer!

 

[Sgeir]

Effen song for Jimi

"The Bee from The Old Town of Effen"

He kept bees in the old town of Effen,
An Effen beekeeper was he,
And one day this Effen beekeeper,
Was stung by a big Effen bee.

Now this big Effen beekeeper's wee Effen wife,
For the big Effen polis she ran
For there's nobody can sort out a big Effen bee,
Like a big Effen polisman can.

This big Effen polisman did his nut,
And he ran down the main Effen street,
In his hand was a big Effen baton,
He had big Effen boots on his feet.

The polis got hold of this big Effen bee,
And he twisted the Effen bees wings,
But the big Effen bee got his own back,
For the big Effen bee had two stings.

Now they're both in the Effen museum,
Where the Effen folk often come see,
The remains of the big Effen polis,
Stung to death by the big Effen bee.

- Matt McGinn

More Effen links at http://www.effenvodka.com/index.php

 

[claymore]

Claymore\'s Climbing Club Song

I've never been up Rossett Ghyll
I hope to God I never will
Youll find me in the Dungeon Ghyll
I'm a Kendal Mountaineer

I've never been up Walna Scar
For Walna Scar's too bloody far
You'll find me in the Scafell bar
I'm a Kendal Mountaineer

There is a third verse concerning the attributes of a young woman who often climbed on Scout Crag and a fourth which referred to another who bore a resemblance to Helvellyn when led down, I think the Old Man (of Coniston) was a good friend of hers. Neither verse is repeatable here.

 

[Bejasus]

Re: Effen song for Jimi

A dog from the port was taken up to court
and accused of molesting his father
said the Judge to the pet, 'How low can you get'
said the pet to the Judge, 'a Chihuahua'

- also Matt McGinn(english version)