The Mrs wants me to sell the boat

oGaryo said:
Existing upstairs study gets converted back to a guest bedroom
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Ah so the whole point of the extension is that your SWMBO can invite more of your outlaws to stay. Basically you'll be selling the boat in order to build a bedroom for your mother in law to stay in forever. I have been duped into this myself recently. You need to resist this at all costs;);)
 
Deleted User said:
Ah so the whole point of the extension is that your SWMBO can invite more of your outlaws to stay. Basically you'll be selling the boat in order to build a bedroom for your mother in law to stay in forever. I have been duped into this myself recently. You need to resist this at all costs;);)
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Buy a bungalow for MIL on a buy to let mortgage, gets rid of the problem & serves as an investment.
 
So gaz you are working at home while swimbo and mum enjoy looking through the doors at the flower beds ,your boat is worth more than that .when you are old how many photos will you look at of your house nil how many memories will you and swimbo have to talk about ,only the builders extras ,not finishing on time,and a year of shit to put up with,get a grip of yourself ,plan one job at a time giv your self time scale to suite budget ,try the builder out on first project if he is good stick with him ,or move on, oh and happy new year ,see u in wales ,
 
Deleted User said:
Ah so the whole point of the extension is that your SWMBO can invite more of your outlaws to stay. Basically you'll be selling the boat in order to build a bedroom for your mother in law to stay in forever. I have been duped into this myself recently. You need to resist this at all costs;);)
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No more trips to Teignmouth, Mike? And no cutting down trees and wading through floods to pick up MIL? What will you do with all that extra spare time?:D
 
2016 project

longjohnsilver said:
No more trips to Teignmouth, Mike? And no cutting down trees and wading through floods to pick up MIL? What will you do with all that extra spare time?:D
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So by the time you have sold the boat, got planing permision, found a builder, waited for better weather and you will be into 2016 so that gives you another year of boating . plus if you make the house and garden too smart she wont want to go boating anyway
 
Deleted User said:
Ah so the whole point of the extension is that your SWMBO can invite more of your outlaws to stay. Basically you'll be selling the boat in order to build a bedroom for your mother in law to stay in forever. I have been duped into this myself recently. You need to resist this at all costs;);)
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"duped". Nah mate just a tempory reprieve on " let's sell the boat "

Seriously boating 99 % of the time is basically a bloke thing we try to cross reference -family -golden memories -etc .In some 1/2 hearted attempt to "share " the justification.


So you have to concede a bit to SWMBO in this case its an extension on the house .

How ever it's cheaper than an affair -in the long run ,so SWMBO kinda allows the bloke to have a "she" that's a piece of plastic and can only do so much .
 
My swimbo and I have an arrangement that her credit card bill [That i pay and would settle a 3rd world country s national dept]
And my boat.
Should never come into any conversation..
Its New Year,,!!!
Make a Resolution..
 
Nooooooooooo! I hope you don't end up having to sell up Gary, I would miss your forum threads and contributions. We have relocated merlin to torquay marina this year, both swmbo and I were fed up of the trip down Southampton water everytime we went out; dare I suggest berthing somewhere new as a possible way to reignite Debbie's love for boating? I looked at the town quay price list link you posted previously, it is certainly a significant saving on mdl prices. You still have Southampton water to contend with of course.

Steve
 
FalconSteve said:
Nooooooooooo! I hope you don't end up having to sell up Gary, I would miss your forum threads and contributions. We have relocated merlin to torquay marina this year, both swmbo and I were fed up of the trip down Southampton water everytime we went out; dare I suggest berthing somewhere new as a possible way to reignite Debbie's love for boating? I looked at the town quay price list link you posted previously, it is certainly a significant saving on mdl prices. You still have Southampton water to contend with of course.

Steve
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Steve

Happy Birthday.

So how does swapping a 'tedious' trip on the boat down Soton Water in anyway at all compare to the absolute tedium of ~100 miles of the A303, M5, A38 and whatever the last bit into Torquay is. From Basingstoke to Southampton M3 or A33 on a bad day is less than an hour, and the Soton Water bit is only 20 minutes whilst the engines warm up.
 
Ok Gary. Crunch time. Time to accept a few realities.
Boating is a man thing and smashing over high waves in the pouring rain maybe exhilarating, but not for SWMBO who will be anxting about being cold wet seasick and generally dying.
To keep the boat you need to give the other half a reason for loving the boat, eg sun, warm seas, exciting shopping, interesting cuisine, sporting an all summer tan etc.
So move your boat to the med. Choose your base well and you should be able to cut your running costs by at least 30%. Go to the ionian and it could be 50%. Get the location right and you'll be able to pop down for long weekends and give your family a fun time.
What you will lose is using your boat like a garden shed and the opportunity to tinker. So buy a garden shed.
Once SWMBO gets into med boating there will be only the pressure of buying a bigger boat to contend with.
Finally the elephant in the room. You've had a near miss. You feel you want to make the most of your life. SWMBO has the constantly nawing fear that if you have an attack on the boat whilst underway she'll have to deal with the trauma alone. The extension issue is a typical female smokescreen to hide her real concern. So you need to go through a process of building up her confidence that she can manage if you fall overboard, have a heart attack, break an arm etc.
Handle this well and you'll both benefit and share a great experiance. Trample her concerns and you'll be drinking a wedge through your relationship.
How do I know all this? 10 years of med boating with the diagnosed threat of a stroke/ aneurism in background.
Good luck and God speed.
 
superheat6k said:
Steve

Happy Birthday.

So how does swapping a 'tedious' trip on the boat down Soton Water in anyway at all compare to the absolute tedium of ~100 miles of the A303, M5, A38 and whatever the last bit into Torquay is. From Basingstoke to Southampton M3 or A33 on a bad day is less than an hour, and the Soton Water bit is only 20 minutes whilst the engines warm up.
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Hi Trevor,

You are quite correct in the points you make, traffic can add an hour to a trip easy. However, we do a fair amount of displacement passage making, so the Southampton water trip can be a lot longer at those speeds (Donna really doesn't enjoy the hull slamming and engine noise at planing speed).

I think it is more about expectation than the actual reality of time spent. Driving can be very frustrating, but we are both looking forward to getting to the boat, the journey down is not the major attraction for the trip. Once we slip the lines and head out of the marina, we are in fun mode and looking forward to the voyage. So the expectation is different even though the timeframe is biased in the opposite direction.

Added to this is the beautiful coastline of Devon, dolphins, porpoises and seals; all add to the attraction of boating. I love exploring, so 'uncharted' areas are very alluring for me especially. We probably won't keep the boat in torquay for more than a couple of seasons, then we might move her even further away!

There is a major drawback to my argument, I have noticed that I visit the boat less regularly than when she was berthed at ocean Village, and that is most definitely down to the distance and time factor. I guess the perfect balance is hard to find, especially when budget raises it's ugly head as well.

Happy new year mate, hope you and yours keep well.

Steve
 
If you are forced to sell the boat I can only see it leading to resentment and disharmony.

I also can't help wondering, in light of your recent health scare, why your Mrs would want you to sell something that you so clearly get a lot of enjoyment out of and that adds to your quality of life...

If the Mrs wants you to sell the boat why not turn the tables on her and put her on ebay?
 
Bertramdriver said:
Ok Gary. Crunch time. Time to accept a few realities.
Boating is a man thing and smashing over high waves in the pouring rain maybe exhilarating, but not for SWMBO who will be anxting about being cold wet seasick and generally dying.
To keep the boat you need to give the other half a reason for loving the boat, eg sun, warm seas, exciting shopping, interesting cuisine, sporting an all summer tan etc.
So move your boat to the med. Choose your base well and you should be able to cut your running costs by at least 30%. Go to the ionian and it could be 50%. Get the location right and you'll be able to pop down for long weekends and give your family a fun time.
What you will lose is using your boat like a garden shed and the opportunity to tinker. So buy a garden shed.
Once SWMBO gets into med boating there will be only the pressure of buying a bigger boat to contend with.
Finally the elephant in the room. You've had a near miss. You feel you want to make the most of your life. SWMBO has the constantly nawing fear that if you have an attack on the boat whilst underway she'll have to deal with the trauma alone. The extension issue is a typical female smokescreen to hide her real concern. So you need to go through a process of building up her confidence that she can manage if you fall overboard, have a heart attack, break an arm etc.
Handle this well and you'll both benefit and share a great experiance. Trample her concerns and you'll be drinking a wedge through your relationship.
How do I know all this? 10 years of med boating with the diagnosed threat of a stroke/ aneurism in background.
Good luck and God speed.
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Good post.
I have the constant background health threat as well. Got over it by having every conceivable auto device known to man installed. Autopilot, bow & stern thrusters, joystick, remote control etc etc etc. Still getting a bigger kitchen & landscaped garden / new pool, probably closely followed by a large bungalow !!
 
Last edited:
On Tuesday afternoon my much beloved Dad passed away.

Do I remember the days sat at home as a kid while he painted the fence? No

Do I remember the times we weeded the garden together? No.


What I remember was my Dad teaching me to drive a boat 10 years before I could drive a car. I remember days snuggled up under the canopy as the rain pi55ed down, playing cards, I remember helping my dad fix things on the boat, and I remember all of these fondly and it gives me comfort.

Last spring (when we knew he was dying) we arranged to go back to the canal we were on all those years ago. It was a rented boat and it was only for a day, but when he took the helm his face lit up and my wife managed to take a lovely photo of me stood next to him on the rear deck - both looking happy - it's a photo I will always treasure.

You won't look back in a few years and fondly remember when you put the roof on the new extension - but you may look back and regret the day you sold the boat....
 
ontheplane said:
On Tuesday afternoon my much beloved Dad passed away.

Do I remember the days sat at home as a kid while he painted the fence? No

Do I remember the times we weeded the garden together? No.


What I remember was my Dad teaching me to drive a boat 10 years before I could drive a car. I remember days snuggled up under the canopy as the rain pi55ed down, playing cards, I remember helping my dad fix things on the boat, and I remember all of these fondly and it gives me comfort.

Last spring (when we knew he was dying) we arranged to go back to the canal we were on all those years ago. It was a rented boat and it was only for a day, but when he took the helm his face lit up and my wife managed to take a lovely photo of me stood next to him on the rear deck - both looking happy - it's a photo I will always treasure.

You won't look back in a few years and fondly remember when you put the roof on the new extension - but you may look back and regret the day you sold the boat....
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Really sorry to hear of your loss. Your post is so very true for me and I know your dad would want you thinking of him in the way you are.

:)
 
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