The Mrs wants me to sell the boat

Don't sell. It's obviosly something that drives you through life something to look forward to. I know of a friend who sold in similar circumstances, his health went down hill with depression etc... Not saying will happen to you. More to life than bricks and mortar.
 
With interest rates at an all time low ,I do not buy into the financial argument to sell the boat to assist part funding a residential property extension for personal use.

Sounds to me reading between the lines - the boat negatively represents to the wife the following ------

-excess time / £££ spent Wrong ratio currently exists

So change one or both both. Spend less £££ on it .-downsize to trailer boat -jet ski etc
Spend less time -not vertually every spare W/E and weeks leave .


This way you can still "fiddle with a boat in a manly fashion -with or without teenage kids who have other developing interests? " and have time to do domestic chores (with those same kids ) + Holidays Abroad where's it Hot and the waters warm which may include a boaty element ?

One 1/2 term in Oct I arranged 1/2 week in the SoF my boaty fix AND second 1/2 of same week in Venice
Came back with a glass chandler .All family had a great time .

Another time son,s last weekend before first term at Uni - co insides wirh a Ferrai meet @ Silverstone to break world record of 1000 cars on the track at once .
Took him down ,( we have a hat signed by Massa ) - but next day Sun we shot off to SIBS -all parked up in that multistory c park Oppersite by 9am
We had a great farther -Son bonding W/E .
It does not appear all me .
We will prob visit Son in London Mid Jan -I can see is taking a little trip on the docklands light railway ?

Knack is trying to combine your hobby with Family -then wife will not think " sell the boat "
 
oGaryo said:
thanks for the post Lisa, to be honest I don't think it'll happen.. I think it's more a case of we've not had a holiday abroad for about 4 years now as we've been using the boat(s) so much.. that's getting fixed in 2015 with at least 1 holiday abroad.
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Thats far more likely to be the issue. My SWMBO loves boating nearly as much as I do but she's always moaning about never having a 'proper' holiday. This is often a major issue for us boaters because we tend to use up all our holiday time for boating and there's often no time left for other types of holiday. There is only one answer to this other than getting a divorce and that is to make the time (and the money) for a couple of holiday weeks doing something other than boating to keep the missus happy.
Going back to your original question, I went through something similar when we were building our house about 15yrs ago, which had inevitably turned into a bottomless money pit. We had to downsize our boat not once but twice over a 2yr period to release more cash to pour into this project but the way I dealt with the pain of doing this was to make my SWMBO agree that after the house was finished and our finances had recovered, we were definitely going to go boating in the Med which was something we had been talking about for a while. So maybe this is a strategy you could use; sell your boat, build the bloody extension but have a cast iron agreement with your missus that the next major purchase will be a bigger boat than you have now. Start dreaming now;)
 
oGaryo said:
to go towards paying for a re-mortgage for a house extension she has her mind set on (awaiting building regs approval and then we're set to go).. we can afford to do both but she won't let it drop. this one isn't going to end well. Has anyone else experienced this predicament and if so, what was your solution?

p.s. selling the boat isn't a solution ;)
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Doesn,t sound like the problem is clear...she wants the extension,you want the boat and you can afford both.
I think you are wasting time asking on here and you need to discuss with She Who Occasionally Needs To Be Obeyed (but only when things get really sticky and there is alot of door slamming!)
 
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First question does she work full time like you ,audit the bank accounts see where the money goes ,,when building dont use one builder get quotes off different sub contractors ,buy materials your self you will save at least a 3rd off a quote ,or if u love boating more than swimbo f her off. Simples
 
Thought you had been a bit quiet of late, but bloody hell !

Is it the boat, or your bloody awful drive to get to it - M1, M25 & M3 hardly an attractive prospect on a Friday in mid-Summer.

Your recent experience as much as anyone else's on here provides me the reminding incentive why I must not give up the otherwise senseless expenditure on the boat - my annuals would pay for nearly two two week cruises for the four of us, including the dogs kennel fees. Yes I am selling mine - but that's to allow the long term goal to be realised (Corvette 320 or Broom - the Nordhavn remains a lottery dream).

From your efforts I have spent the last few weeks working out if I can pedal 68 miles because of the incentive and challenge you have laid down. But I reckon this could allow me to extend my boating career by a decade by not unexpectedly dying from being a fat sofa loving old git - I am even expecting to visit Halfords tomorrow to view the racing bike options in their sale.

But boatless - no way, although in my case this was a first date explanation that the boat goes with me as part of the deal, so never ever try to separate one from the other (and to her credit SWMBO never has).

Tough one mate, and I have no wish to cause Debbie upset, but will committing you to an eternal life of slippers and a lovely extension really do it for her.

Finally as previously remarked whilst I have it OB remains at your disposal. And if you want to save some cash Foulkes stiil has some space and at half the price of MDL, and I expect a good deal less than Soton Town Quay.
 
Guys, thanks very much for your advice some of it very useful and some, well, has given me a good chuckle :) both swimbo and the boat will remain in my life if I have my way... the boat for sure, Debbie, well that's up to her ;) maybe it's an age thing but I am coming to terms with the fact that if someone has a problem with something I want to/can do, then it's their problem not mine, all I can do is help them through their problem if possible :) e.g. go on holidays abroad in this instance. I realise that comes across as selfish
 
superheat6k said:
From your efforts I have spent the last few weeks working out if I can pedal 68 miles because of the incentive and challenge you have laid down. But I reckon this could allow me to extend my boating career by a decade by not unexpectedly dying from being a fat sofa loving old git - I am even expecting to visit Halfords tomorrow to view the racing bike options in their sale.
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Trev, that's fantastic news, shall I move you up from supporter to rider?

p.s. may I also recommend you take a look at the Boardman hybrid comp when in Halfords tomorrow, it'll be kinder on the back than a racing bike and still very quick and light.. it's what I used for the London to Brighton ride
 
oGaryo said:
Trev, that's fantastic news, shall I move you up from supporter to rider?

p.s. may I also recommend you take a look at the Boardman hybrid comp when in Halfords tomorrow, it'll be kinder on the back than a racing bike and still very quick and light.. it's what I used for the London to Brighton ride
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Just waiting on a routine medical check, but the nurse keeps going off sick - not very encouraging eh !

Can my 14 year old Daughter accompany me if we commit ?
 
superheat6k said:
Just waiting on a routine medical check, but the nurse keeps going off sick - not very encouraging eh !

Can my 14 year old Daughter accompany me if we commit ?
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all sounds sensible mate... there may be a couple of things we'd need to check out regarding minors joining the ride in terms of their wellbeing. it may be we have to say that the decision is entirely yours mate and in turn, that means her safely and wellbeing if completely your responsibility as we'll not have insurance etc. However, I'll ask the BHF event organisers for advice and get back to you as they'll no doubt be aware of any constraints that may prohibit attendance or ways of enabling your little lady's involvement
 
have t av the beer and natter at yours ,jimmy the builder ,seastoke a spark must be a pumber add a guy with a digger hey presto job done spend the rest on upgrade to bigger boat
 
Deleted User said:
Thats far more likely to be the issue. My SWMBO loves boating nearly as much as I do but she's always moaning about never having a 'proper' holiday. This is often a major issue for us boaters because we tend to use up all our holiday time for boating and there's often no time left for other types of holiday. There is only one answer to this other than getting a divorce and that is to make the time (and the money) for a couple of holiday weeks doing something other than boating to keep the missus happy.
Going back to your original question, I went through something similar when we were building our house about 15yrs ago, which had inevitably turned into a bottomless money pit. We had to downsize our boat not once but twice over a 2yr period to release more cash to pour into this project but the way I dealt with the pain of doing this was to make my SWMBO agree that after the house was finished and our finances had recovered, we were definitely going to go boating in the Med which was something we had been talking about for a while. So maybe this is a strategy you could use; sell your boat, build the bloody extension but have a cast iron agreement with your missus that the next major purchase will be a bigger boat than you have now. Start dreaming now;)
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+1 on the holidays point. Swmbo got a bit cheesed off with me vanishing off to the boat most weekends when I first moved it down to the Med, and as a result we've tried to rebalance things a bit so that we now have a couple of 'proper' non boaty holidays each year as well as the various trips to the boat.
 
jimmy_the_builder said:
+1 on the holidays point. Swmbo got a bit cheesed off with me vanishing off to the boat most weekends when I first moved it down to the Med, and as a result we've tried to rebalance things a bit so that we now have a couple of 'proper' non boaty holidays each year as well as the various trips to the boat.
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+1 on that. This year we had two overseas holidays and just one full week on the boat, but also Easter, all the Bank Holidays and just about all the decent weekends. It's a balancing act, but like Gary's SWMBO, my SWMBO has been voicing a few doubts lately about boat ownership. She can't play the 'we need the money card', as we're fortunate enough not to, and can afford the boat without having to do without anything else. The trouble is coming from the fact that the kids are getting older; my girl is into her horses not boating and with the boy starting secondary school in September with mountains of homework. I can see these together reducing boat use in 2016. (not 2015 though!). Also time (mine) on weekends to do manly stuff, such as antifoul, polish, scrape barnacles off outdrives and generally tinker, etc is sometimes resented.

I've put my marker down and simply said I'm not going to be without a boat, but the open question is do I need to have something that eats up £10k a year without trying..?

Anyhow, we're off tomorrow, actually today looking at the time, on a winter run to Cowes. It's going to be sunny, flat calm, and freezing cold. Lovely. I had to bribe my girl with the promise of any desert she wants in the pub to get her to stop moaning though.... arghh.
 
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If I spend too much time working on the boat, Mrs FP says "it's like having another sick relative living in the marina".
But she does love it when the Sun is shining, the water is flattish, and it's warm.
 
jimmy_the_builder said:
+1 on the holidays point. Swmbo got a bit cheesed off with me vanishing off to the boat most weekends when I first moved it down to the Med, and as a result we've tried to rebalance things a bit so that we now have a couple of 'proper' non boaty holidays each year as well as the various trips to the boat.
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Surely, if your boat is in the Med', you get to go on 'proper' holidays nearly every trip down. I accept that you may not go out on the non boaty part but what a great base to start from. I'd love to have mine down there but if I did I wouldn't get to use it through lack of time as I need to work to run it. Still we feel like we have a holiday almost every week, so it works for us.

Back to Gary tho, it's a difficult one as married teams don't do well unless they both want and share the boat. I know others that have had hard times due to differing interests like horses/kids etc.

Any and all distractions reduce time on the boat, UK weather is so iffy that you can't rely on forecasts especially in the summer. The cost of running a reasonable size boat means that you have to use it to make it worthwhile too.

The main point is that life is a bit too short really and so many say that they'll either buy a boat or get back into boating one day. For us, this is our 'One Day'. Unless you actually need the extension right now just for family space, we would leave it on the important list but take it off the urgent list.

Make the most of your boat or a bigger one if you need to but when you've done it the residual of the boat will pay for the investment in the extension. In this case, 'extension' is really a label for any distraction or contention. You have to accept it's important to your family so equally for you in the long term.

Sit down and talk it through, good luck.

RR
 
OK, my first reply was a tad flippant, but what are the issues really? your boys are getting older, they're not children any more, they go to uni, why the extension? are they going to settle in when their education is finished? is it a granny annex for ageing parents, is Debs pregnant? when the kids fly the nest you need less space not more, is it the travelling to and from Southampton, downsize the house move south nearer the boat, move the boat closer to MK or has Debs fallen out of love with the boaty side of life? there's more questions than answers, without the full picture how can you get an answer, you and Debs have a problem that you want the forum to resolve, as posted earlier perhaps post it on facebook and let the world find the answer
 
I agree with your wife, you should sell the boat







And then buy a bigger one!

Actually this is a serious suggestion, maybe she is getting a bit fed up of what you have and something with a bit more space and comfort will be more appealing to her. Certainly seems to have worked for everyone I know that has moved up in size.
 
RogerRat said:
Back to Gary tho, it's a difficult one as married teams don't do well unless they both want and share the boat. I know others that have had hard times due to differing interests like horses/kids etc.

Any and all distractions reduce time on the boat, UK weather is so iffy that you can't rely on forecasts especially in the summer. The cost of running a reasonable size boat means that you have to use it to make it worthwhile too.

The main point is that life is a bit too short really and so many say that they'll either buy a boat or get back into boating one day. For us, this is our 'One Day'.

Sit down and talk it through, good luck.
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We sold up - we were just not getting the use out of the boat that we could justify - iirc it was me that brought up the subject of selling - my desires were outside the solent where as the others in the party were happy with just solent sailing - with rubbish weather and needing to book holidays months in advance it just wasn't working well. We had one last good fortnight on the boat (channel islands) then put her up for sale. It's certainly not an easy decision to make and I still have regrets, but we're promising ourselves that we will get a boat again in the future and meanwhile we'll enjoy other holidays - including the possibility of a charter in the med or somewhere else hot!
For us it's not an exit from boating as we still have dinghies which we'll continue to sail and tbh, most of the fun can be had within the harbour! :)
 
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