The Magic Answer

[FlyingSpud]

Trawling through the Stinkies forum to see how they were taking the breathalyser issue I saw a question asking how you persuade SWMBO to allow you to go sailing, so I posted an answer and thought I’d give you lot the magic secret as well

I’m a divorce lawyer, - which oddly gives me a pretty good insight into the reasons for marriage failure. So listen.

The most common time for breakdown of marriage is 27 years in (not 1 or 7), why? Obvious, you marry because you like each other, 2/3 years in and out pops kid 1, a year or 2 later, and out pops kid 2.

What do you spend the next 20 years talking about? The kids, that’s what, and 25/27 years in the one thing you have had in common leaves home. The people who started living together are no longer there, and you have nothing to say except ‘I’m seeing my lawyer in the morning’.

The Answer?

You need a hobby you, she and the kids can be involved in, and that you can do together after the kids leave.

Golf? Can’t drag the kids round the course and end up playing alone
Skiing? Ok, but only 4 months of the year
Gardening? Well, Yuk, and anyway the kids will never be interested

Sailing? It’s the only answer

So you need to go on the boat and she should be all for it as a way of saving your marriage, if she will not only encourage you in this, and indeed refuses to come down and help you antifoul etc then she does not love you, wants the kids to be from a broken home (leading to a life of crime and eventual imprisonment) and has no romance in her soul.

The other odd thing about this is, it’s true.

Don’t know why I’m trying to save marriages, or get more stinkies on the water though

 

[Martin_Billings]

Pat, you're saying this because - like all lawyers - we're all heart

 

[FlyingSpud]

True, True

 

[rbrooks]

Lawyer's have hearts !!!!! who are you trying to convince?

 

[brianp]

Reminds me of the gag where the client says to the lawyer:
"I know you're expensive and charge by the question, but can I ask two"
"Certainly", said the lawyer "and what's the second?"

Boom, Boom.

 

[chippie]

Who are you sending the bill to for all this advice? ;-)

 

[Strathglass]

Re: The Bill

I supose FlyingSpud and Martin_Billings could send a bill to each other.

Iain

 

[ianwright]

We have no kids, she dosn't like sailing, I sail solo... are we safe?
,,,,,,and stop encoraging people, there are too many people with too many boats forcing up prices as it is.

IanW.as it is

Vertue 203, Patience

 

[FlyingSpud]

Compared to the taxman, Lawyers are saints

 

[FlyingSpud]

I thought we are always being told that there are not enough young people coming into sailing, and eventually all boats will have to be designed to accommodate crew with Zimmer frames and we will have chair lifts up the side of the mast?

On your case, I can deal only with the general, not the specific, grasshopper

 

[ianwright]

" thought we are always being told that there are not enough young people coming into sailing,"

We are, but only by people in the trade... for us in the sport, the punters, we will gain when the trade loses.

IanW.

Vertue 203, Patience

 

[Guest]

If you've ever been racing a dinghy with SWMBO as crew and you as helm stuff up a critical gybe or something I think you'd have a slightly different view on who would divorce whom, notwithstanding the mutual sporting interest I've certainly discovered a whole new side to my missus on such occasions and been particularly impressed at her mastery of the language...

Still, hope you're right - we're both yachting now and bringing along our 2 young kids as part of the fun. Let's hope they like it and we remain married long enough to do some long distance stuff with our zimmer-equipped retirement yacht

Are you planning a long term road test of this theory btw?

 

[philmarks]

and reminds me of the one where a planeload of lawyers are flying to Puerto Rico from Miami, for a conference. The plane crash lands at sea, a Mayday was sent....




24 hrs later a US CG cutter finds the lawyers swimming round in a circle, surrounding a bunch of sharks, and closing in....

 

[philmarks]

and reminds me of the one where a planeload of lawyers are flying to Puerto Rico from Miami, for a conference. The plane crash lands at sea, a Mayday was sent....




24 hrs later a US CG cutter finds the lawyers swimming round in a circle, surrounding a bunch of sharks, and closing in....

 

[max_power]

I like the idea of tailormade Zimmers for boats.

Instead of Thora's walk in bath I am working on Max's walk-in cockpit.

I do like the idea of husband and wife sailing together, but alas, for many of us, we are doomed to face father Neptune alone.

After the animals died and the kids left home, I must admit, things got a bit slow going between us. Although I say it myself, I pulled off a master stroke. Bought a house that will need modernising and doing up for years to come. She's happy with that and I'am happy sailing. When we meet we now have something to say to each other. Wedded bliss lives again !

 

[pete]

whats the diference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?











there are skid marks before the dog|

 

[LadyInBed]

Re: 27 years

I've done 26, only one more year till I get the release form :¬))

 

[FlyingSpud]

Wife prefers rough stuff (on a boat) more than I do fortunately, but I actually used this argument to get her involved in the first place.

For most the important thing though is not if it works or not, it is just a great answer for those facing problems from SWMBO about how much time/money they spend on the boat.

 

[rhinorhino]

Hear, hear!

 

[brianp]

Sorry Spud, old bean (..if that"s not a contradiction),
but you started it!