The BSS man came today......

[boatone]

The BSS man came today
to check that all was AOK
confirmed that filler pipes were sound
And extinguishers liberally spread around

That ventilation had been improved
batteries fixed so couldn't move
and covered up with lids on top
in case something metal chanced to drop

Flexible fuel pipes nice and new
Only BS standard hose will do
Shut off valves and isolation switches
Clearly labelled to show where each is

Fuses labelled and wiring neat
wires clipped safely every couple of feet
Fuel tank capped with flameproof vents
Bit of a pain but all makes sense

Did it all myself with sweat and cursing
and several bruises I've been nursing
Pulling and pushing to make pipes shift
In cramped little spaces..you get my drift
But never mind, we won the day
the certificate soon will be on its way



TonyR
boatone@boatsontheweb.com
www.boatsonthethames.co.uk

 

[hlb]

Oi!
Have you been taking leasons from me and Pauline??

Haydn

 

[byron]

Glad the batteries will not move, I had forgot that idiocy, the waves on the non tidal Thames can be ferocious and strapped down batteries most important.

ô¿ô

 

[hlb]

I saw a BSS man long ago.
An extra deck he would bestow.
The reason was my fuel and water.
On’t same deck, they didn’t auta.

And so the plan was made at last.
For the rules to be past.
An extra deck he did insist.
I’m certain that he must be pissed.

Also holes around the boat.
I’m sure then, it wouldn’t float.
So back to Plymouth we did go.
Pulling raspberries and singing Hey Ho!!



Haydn

 

[Guest]

Re: Byron Batteries.

Astonishing this battery anchoring thing. I had my BSS inspection in a windy Brighton marina, I already
had the batteries both domestic & engine starters, in covered wooden cases, but still I had to fix
steel bracers across the tops cos I was coming up to non tidal Thames. Never mind that a couple of
months earlier I was court out in a 6-7 round Beachy Head, during which the fridge shot across the
galley but, you've guessed it the batteries did'nt move in inch.

cneighbour

 

[mtb]

Re:well done

I somehow cant see myself allowing some one to tell me the bloody obvious and then charge me for it .
Collin's put in another deck !!
Strap batteries down when their properly fairly snug in their own box !!
Oh and lets not forget to have a pathetic tin strap holding the blooming great big cooker or fridge .
Hey don't get me wrong ,safety is very very high on my list but some things really do get out of hand .
It's so easy for someone to say right then you have to lay in new tank breather pipes of none collapsible material and cover the end with gauze .
Or the usual ,the tank fillers have to be moved so any excess fuel cannot enter the interior of the hull and empty over board and don't forget the filler pipes have to be grounded just incase there's a build up of static when refuelling ,or the fuel station equipment has a poor eathing system thus causing a spark oh and have some means of filler breather so as not to allow blow back due to air being trapped also the filler pipes have to be of the right internal dimension and none collapsible
Then he or she revel's in telling you that carburetter has to have flame trap gauze oh and the drip tray under the carburetter has to be both accessible to facilitate emptying ofcourse covered in the flame trap gauze .
Sorry but your fuel tank can no longer have a sight gauge or a dip stick just incase it strikes the bottom of the tank .
OOH look at that you have to build a separate drip tray under the engine so that oil / fuel cant contaminate the rest of the bilges .
NEVER NEVER ENDING , you can tell what I think about it !!!!
Hey I don't care if you disagree with me .
I don't have so much easy come easy go money that I would ask a yard to oh just do this HUGE great list of stuff for me !!
It will only get worse as we have seen .
See what happens when I get fed up
Tugs in but the waves here are nearly a metre high and the breeze !! Fosdyke is about 6 miles inland
So I cant go out to play
Mick



http://homepage.ntlworld.com/boats
I want a big steel ex trawler / tug v/cheep or swap for tug

 

[boatone]

Re:well done

Well, I dunno....there I was yesterday afternoion feeling quite pleased with meself cos I'd got the boat thru BSS all on me tod so to speak, ao I wax lyrical and do a little pome by Tone (which I have to say I thort was quite good - axually rhymed and stuff) and wot do I get....
1... accusation of ripping off Haydn and Paulines litereary bents (bit rich that I thort...Haydn stuff usually totally unreadable and Pauline usually all sex & shoes etc etc wheras MY effort was totally boaty.......
2....simple 'nice one' from calaholic ....but wot the hell is that bloody mouse doing........it's obviously clicking far too often....
3.......usual mutter mutter sort of stuff from Byron and some idiocy about storm force 10 up near the Beetle and Wedge.........
4.......more literary(?) rubbish from Haydn with a pethetic attempt at a poem that doesnt even scan as well as a clapped out radar with a 35 year old klystron....oh yes and first mutterings about an extra deck......
5........Quite a readable/understandable littel note from Clive about flying fridges whose batteries were in boxes but needed steel (STEEL) straps.......
and finally..............
6..........a real east coast rant from MTB that left me positively feeling sorry for him and thinking of shaking a tin at the carshalton ponds model boat sailing extravaganza if ever there is one..!!!

On a serious note, what on earth is all this stuff about an extra deck? I can find nothing in the BSS scheme about this ....my fuel and water tanks are in the same lazarette compartment. Come to think of it, have you guys actually read the BSS guidance booklets (free from British Waterways etc) ....certainly seems to be some discrepancies between your views and my reading.......

All in jest....but it had to be done and I did it all for a relatively small cash outlay and some honest sweat. Actually, says something for Princess that not that much actually needed doing although diesel engines/fuel issues obviously much easier to comply than petrol.




TonyR
boatone@boatsontheweb.com
www.boatsonthethames.co.uk

 

[hlb]

Re:Extra deck.

Well thanks for the vote of confidence. And kindly words to an old dickslectric. Far to hard to explain the extra deck by poetry, well not in two minutes.

Now pay attention, I'll try to explain. My boat has water and fuel fillers next to each other and that would not pass.So the bod said that if a lump of wood was nailed on between them, that would constitute an extra deck! So there fore the two fillers would still be 6 inch apart but on different decks, so then OK. He was to be fair just being helpfull, to get around the problem, without ripping even more boat apart.
Anyway, I was going back to sea sooner or later, so just went sooner!

Haydn

 

[boatone]

Re:Extra deck.

Thank you Haydn for such a polite and succinct reply to my enquiry about extra decks......not at all what I imagined as you can imagine.
I hope you have a nice weekend. The weather down here is extremely unpleasant but I am hoping to brave the elements and install the new iroko decking that nice Mr Howells in Poole has sent me for my bathing platform....not that its ever likely to be used for bathing during my ownership!

TonyR
boatone@boatsontheweb.com
www.boatsonthethames.co.uk

 

[kimhollamby]

Re:well done

Well Tony, you get my vote. I respond not with some inferior attempt of my own but by taking the opportunity of dusting off a short poem written by the late and much-missed Howard Jones who had a Princess 33 based in Sharpness. With apologies to those who saw it before in MBM (and for Fred Drifting just a bit):

There's a special BW Charter,
dated nineteen-ninety four.
It's really very simple,
and shorter than before.
BW can ignore complaints,
just as they please.
Their employees are always right,
and the moon is made of cheese.
Boaters are happy,
they now garden all day long.
They never dare complain because
they know they're always wrong.

Associate Publisher ybw.com websites kim_hollamby@ipcmedia.com

 

[ari]

Re:Extra deck.

Surely nailing a lump of wood onto the side deck contitutes a trip hazard, which is far mare dangerous than having the fuel and water fillers on the same side deck?

And, um, what exactly was the problem with having the fillers on the side deck in the first place, I can't work that one out?

Good old BSS.....

Sounds ike one S too many.

Ari.

 

[hlb]

Re:Extra deck.

Ah well! They thought some one would be dumb enough to put the water in the diesel hole.

Haydn

 

[longjohnsilver]

If only you\'d waited!

Just seen the news, thousands of tons of timber heading towards Plymouth from listing Ruskie cargo ship. Looks like the chainsaw could have another outing tomorrow!

 

[Falcon71]

Re:Extra deck.

Umm. Didn't Piers do just that?

 

[mtb]

Re: If only you\'d waited!

You jammy git
Mick

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/boats
I want a big steel ex trawler / tug v/cheep or swap for tug