The Art of Coarse Sailing- Michael Green

[Cliveshep]

For IMHO a very funny telling of a boozy cruise on the Norfolk Broads by crews of two hired sailing cruisers. Mr Green defines the coarse sailor as one full of nautical language but who in a crisis shouts "for God's sake turn LEFT!!!"

The antics of this lot will strike a chord for all who love mucking about in boats, or as he says, "boating about in muck." His description of "Beaver", the self proclaimed skipper (who had piles) sitting on the forepeak heads with his head out of the hatch directing operations (due to lack of headroom) conjured up the type of cruising this was.

Also see The Art of Coarse Cruising, plus a few others such as Coarse Rugby/Golf/Drinking/Sex etc. The whole lot are probably long out of print, written in the '60's, but I bought them off e-bay very cheaply indeed. Very amusing reading.

 

[ianc1200]

This was my first boating book, and still one of my favourites. I have a hardback and a paperback (almost in pieces now) and there are some minor diffences between the two. I've read most of his other books - the rugby ones got me into rugby - and the first two volumes of his autobiography, which cam out years ago, but weren't followed up with other volumes as promised. I asked on uk rec sailing newsgroup some time ago if he was still around, and the answer was yes, but just not bringing out books anymore, unless somebody knows different.

IanC

 

[Cliveshep]

My ex got this from the Library (she was/is a librarian) just in time for our first foray onto the Broads. Having read it and appreciated the humour on our next trip to the Broads we kept a holiday log just to see if any of the funny things he wrote about actually happen. Here's a sample and ALL true

Day 1 night - ebb tide top of Breydon whilst moored at the Berney Arms - drunken 14st woman walked into the river, we had to recover her.
Day 2 - went on the full tide down Breydon, saw Freeman moored to signs warning of obstructions at low water, (5.30 am) Saw hire cruiser aground at Yarmouth, went and got Tugmaster but too late. (tide going out!). Assisted removing Carribean Hire boat stuck across river. Back up Breydon, Freeman now impaled on exposed stakes. On river en-route Oulton Broad, moored for lunch, rammed by lady driver of 40ft steel hire boat, made repairs.
Day 4 - AM. accosted by Harbour master to tow off stranded cruiser - no probs. Day 4 pm - moored Barton Broad, towed off Bermuda hire boat driven 1/4 mile outside channel onto mud. Day 5 (ish) Wroxham Broad - cat went ashore, didn't come back 'till day 7. Day 7 - cat locked in cabin, all overnight mooring now by anchor in middle to keep cat aboard. Day 9 - crossing Breydon from Yarmouth in Storm winds against ebb tide. Cruiser in front overheated & stopped in fairway in front of oncoming Queen of the Broads (passenger vessel ex minesweeper) Towed clear (just). On way home - cat jumped out of car window but recovered intact after causing single track road holdup for over an hour!
All happened during a 10 day cruise although the day1-? timescale bit might not be totally accurate, we covered the whole lot in our 25kt trailed cruiser.

I put it down to the ghost of Beaver!

 

[Lakesailor]

Sailing in a Nutshell (I think it was by Peter Boyle) was a similar read,

 

[balladsailor]

Michael Green also did a follow-up.... The Art of Coarse Cruising. Not quite as funny, but good for a few chuckles.

 

[dharl]

Thank you for reminding me of this book! It was one of the first 'adult' (NOT in THAt sense of the word!!) that I read as a youngster as my father had a hardbacked copy of it! As I had been boating around in a mess for a number of years all ready I had a good understanding of it all and I found it hilarious!

I never got round to reading the rest of the book that he wrote (and looking at Wikipedia there are a few of them) so will have to get on to ebay and see what I can find!

 

[Dougie_the_Mate]

At the risk of upsetting anyone - apologies if I do - I must say that I found the Michael Green books very disappointing. It is the only sailing book that I have put in the charity shop pile.

 

[Easticks28]

At the risk of upsetting anyone - apologies if I do - I must say that I found the Michael Green books very disappointing. It is the only sailing book that I have put in the charity shop pile.

Then you've never sailed on the Norfolk Broads.......