Swan recipes

[solent clown]

Today I was the victim of a vicious assault on my index finger from an ill tempered swan. He is the main chap in these parts in the swan world, and seems to spend most of his time "getting jiggy with it" with all the lady swans who come within bullying distance, thus exploding all conventional wisdom on the subject. In addition to his general demeanour, swanning about like he owns the bloody place, his behaviour when we feed his scrounging harem a bit of bread, sees him come in, beating them up and demands succour himself. It seems this cygnini is truly an out and out cad. This disruption is normally accomplished by hissing, flapping of wings, then sitting patiently until a morsel is offered. Today he breezed up, sat watching while I drilled some holes (above the waterline) until I granted him the boon of a crust.
clearly he had meat on his menu also and attempted in his swanny way to relieve me of a digit in additon to the bread in some human hot dog manner.
Surely this cannot go unavenged. Is there a swan alternative to orange sauce?
High time the randy blighter really learned what a good stuffing was.

RSPB need not reply

 

[VicS]

Today I was the victim of a vicious assault on my index finger from an ill tempered swan. He is the main chap in these parts in the swan world, and seems to spend most of his time "getting jiggy with it" with all the lady swans who come within bullying distance, thus exploding all conventional wisdom on the subject. In addition to his general demeanour, swanning about like he owns the bloody place, his behavious when we feed his scrounging harem a bit of bread, sees him come in, beating them up and demands succour himself. Clearly this cygnini is truly an out and out cad. This disruption is normally accomplished by hissing, flapping of wings, then sitting patiently until a morsel is offered. Today he breezed up, sat watching while I drilled some holes (above the waterline) until I granted him the boon of a crust.
Clearly he had meat on his menu also and attempted in his swanny way to relieve me of a digit in additon to the bread in some human hot dog manner.
Clearly this cannot go unavenged. Is there a swan alternative to orange sauce?
High time the randy blighter really learned what a good stuffing was.

RSPB need not reply

I beleive all the swans belong to Lizzie but I am sure she wont mind if you relieve her a particularly belligerent one. Why not write to Buck house asking for recipe suggestions after all they cook em regularly for state banquets.


On second thoughts this might be tough old bird that they are saving for the day if/ when Trump visits.

 

[matthewriches]

Show the poxy thing a block and axe. See the little clucker hiss at you then. Count to 10 my feathered friend, your days are numbered......

 

[Wansworth]

Apparently your not ment to feed swans bread....bad for them!

 

[Lon nan Gruagach]

Do not feed swans, its exactly the same as paying beggars to, err, beggar orf. They just come back for more. Do not think you can lead it away with a trail of food, they arent that dumb.

 

[solent clown]

Apparently your not ment to feed swans bread....bad for them!

wholemeal bread is fine.

 

[solent clown]

Do not feed swans, its exactly the same as paying beggars to, err, beggar orf. They just come back for more. Do not think you can lead it away with a trail of food, they arent that dumb.

Too late by many years, they are part of the local scenery and tradition over the last 20 odd years of bringing up kids. All time fave swan snack seemed to be broccoli stems. that says it all really, nasty little blighters. they also put paid once to an armada of paper boats, just for the sheer devilment of it, much to the now grown up kids amusement too many years ago. The black swans however, way too high and mighty, staying up the posh end of the river not deigning to come our way, bloody stuck up Woodmill poultry with an attitude.

 

[CCJ]

Today I was the victim of a vicious assault on my index finger from an ill tempered swan. He is the main chap in these parts in the swan world, and seems to spend most of his time "getting jiggy with it" with all the lady swans who come within bullying distance, thus exploding all conventional wisdom on the subject. In addition to his general demeanour, swanning about like he owns the bloody place, his behaviour when we feed his scrounging harem a bit of bread, sees him come in, beating them up and demands succour himself. It seems this cygnini is truly an out and out cad. This disruption is normally accomplished by hissing, flapping of wings, then sitting patiently until a morsel is offered. Today he breezed up, sat watching while I drilled some holes (above the waterline) until I granted him the boon of a crust.
clearly he had meat on his menu also and attempted in his swanny way to relieve me of a digit in additon to the bread in some human hot dog manner.
Surely this cannot go unavenged. Is there a swan alternative to orange sauce?
High time the randy blighter really learned what a good stuffing was.

RSPB need not reply

The Swan has probably been in the area much longer than your good self, its his patch so to speak

 

[Tam Lin]

Careful, it’ll have your eye out and break your arm.

 

[oldgit]

I believe all the swans belong to Lizzie

..........not strictly true and not to the Lords Vintners either.

 

[Daverw]

You should try kayaking at this time of year, then they above you looking down, just have stay well away for the next month or so, after that then they don’t seem to care

 

[solent clown]

The Swan has probably been in the area much longer than your good self, its his patch so to speak

no doubt. He is a big venerable beauty who knows he owns the place. Normally a darling alone, he just has to show off and be the big man when his chicks are watching

 

[solent clown]

Careful, it’ll have your eye out and break your arm.

titters. Love those :encouragement:

 

[lenten]

swans are very easy to catch---put a piece of bread on first 2 fingers---when he bites put your thumb on top of his beak and pull and put him under your arm in one quick movement---have a man to man chat about his behaviour---i am sure he will see the error of his ways and won t bother you again

 

[johnalison]

I think this might be what you need:
http://www.theoldfoodie.com/2006/08/how-to-roast-swan.html

 

[Hydrozoan]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEnWhDPpvr0

'Once I had dwelt on lakes, once I had been beautiful, when I was a swan. Poor wretch! Now black and well roasted!

The cook turns me back and forth; I am roasted to a turn on my pyre; now the waiter serves me. Poor wretch! Now black and well roasted!

Now I lie on the dish, and I cannot fly; I see the gnashing teeth. Poor wretch! Now black and well roasted!'

 

[macd]

The black swans however...poultry with an attitude.

They're Ozzies. What did you expect?

 

[rotrax]

As a long time angler, the percieved wisdom of many years of trying to move them out of a good swim was a bucket of very muddy water chucked over them.

They sod off sharpish to clean themselves up. It is the time of year when the Cob is very stroppy, but a bucket of nice black muddy water has always worked for me.

Its worth it to see their outraged look!

 

[Gwylan]

Try looking for recipes for Marsh Turkey. Not saying which marsh though.

 

[KellysEye]

I was fishing in a small river near Kings Langley, Hertfordshire and had to run for my life when a Swan charged at me.