powerskipper
Well-known member
Bishop And The Ass
A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase a horse and enter it in the races. However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead.
He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, the donkey came in third!
The next day the local paper carried this headline:
PREACHER'S ASS SHOWS. /forums/images/icons/shocked.gif
The preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won. The paper read:
PREACHER'S ASS OUT IN FRONT./forums/images/icons/shocked.gif
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S ASS./forums/images/icons/shocked.gif
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the preacher to get rid of the donkey. The preacher decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The paper headline the next day read:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. /forums/images/icons/shocked.gif
The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.00.
The next day the headline read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.00. /forums/images/icons/cool.gif
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey, lead it to the plains, and let it go. Next day, the headline in the paper read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE. /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif
The Bishop was buried the next day.
Now guess what they are talking about
?????????Women/forums/images/icons/wink.gif
-can get a taxi on the worst days
-have a neat place to carry spare change
-have always been the center of the arts (art)
-make jogging a spectator sport
-can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub
-have more negotiating power (with men shorter than them)
-usually can find leftover popcorn after a movie
-can always carry a little extra
-always float better
-know where to look first for lost earrings
-rarely lack for a slow dance partner
-have a place to set their glasses when sitting in an armless recliner
???????????? Women/forums/images/icons/wink.gif
-don't cause a traffic accident every time they bend over in public
-always look younger
-find that dribbled food makes it to the napkin on their lap
-can always see their toes and shoes
-can sleep on their stomachs
-have no trouble sliding behind the wheel of small cars
-know that people can read the entire message on their t-shirts
-know that everything more than a handful is wasted
-can come late to a theater and not disrupt an entire aisle
-can take an aerobic class without running the risk of knocking themselves out
<hr width=100% size=1>Julie ,
IMOSHO of course,
A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase a horse and enter it in the races. However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead.
He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, the donkey came in third!
The next day the local paper carried this headline:
PREACHER'S ASS SHOWS. /forums/images/icons/shocked.gif
The preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won. The paper read:
PREACHER'S ASS OUT IN FRONT./forums/images/icons/shocked.gif
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S ASS./forums/images/icons/shocked.gif
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the preacher to get rid of the donkey. The preacher decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The paper headline the next day read:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. /forums/images/icons/shocked.gif
The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.00.
The next day the headline read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.00. /forums/images/icons/cool.gif
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey, lead it to the plains, and let it go. Next day, the headline in the paper read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE. /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif
The Bishop was buried the next day.
Now guess what they are talking about
?????????Women/forums/images/icons/wink.gif
-can get a taxi on the worst days
-have a neat place to carry spare change
-have always been the center of the arts (art)
-make jogging a spectator sport
-can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub
-have more negotiating power (with men shorter than them)
-usually can find leftover popcorn after a movie
-can always carry a little extra
-always float better
-know where to look first for lost earrings
-rarely lack for a slow dance partner
-have a place to set their glasses when sitting in an armless recliner
???????????? Women/forums/images/icons/wink.gif
-don't cause a traffic accident every time they bend over in public
-always look younger
-find that dribbled food makes it to the napkin on their lap
-can always see their toes and shoes
-can sleep on their stomachs
-have no trouble sliding behind the wheel of small cars
-know that people can read the entire message on their t-shirts
-know that everything more than a handful is wasted
-can come late to a theater and not disrupt an entire aisle
-can take an aerobic class without running the risk of knocking themselves out
<hr width=100% size=1>Julie ,
IMOSHO of course,
