Stupidest injury

stingo said:
Pepper spray may be a good thing for self-defence. The downside exposes itself when it goes off un-noticed in your suitcase and then you put on what you think is a clean pair of underpants.
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the good old pepper spray, my a friend of mine once sprayed it over his spindle of dvd's to find out which one of the kids was taking them a putting lovely swirl marks in the. great i pops over one day asks his SWMBO if i could lend a few she didnt have a clue there was spray all over them you can proberbly guess where this going, well i had it in my eyes my face my genitle area every where my hands had been and of course its not the easiest stuff to wash off. the sod couldnt stop laughing when i returned the dvds :D
 
Many years ago playing Rugby I scored what wasn't far off my first ever try in a serious(ish) game. I was a Hooker so it's not as if Rory Underwood ever felt threatened anyway but this time I'd actually picked up a spilled ball after I tackled someone and out-sprinted everyone else so it was really sweet. Just before reaching the line and dotting the ball down I turned round to get the plaudits of my team and ran smack into one the posts with my left shoulder. I dis-located my shoulder but apparently it snapped back and trapped something when it did, so they had to dis-locate it again to sort it out or something. All I can remember is being in incredible pain for about ten minutes and then just being in absolute agony for a long time afterwards.

As for boats, I was more or less banned from starting the Seagull on the family dinghy when I was a lad as I used to "accidentally" hit my brother when I pulled the cord rather a lot :D:D. He got his own back one day by taking the plug out. No compression so my mighty heave meant I managed to hit myself in the face somehow and then tripped and fell very painfully very across the side of dinghy before being dumped into the water, swamping the dinghy in the process. I suspect my Father had a hand in this too because I don't remember a lot sympathy from anyone (not that I deserved it but I was about 8 at the time)....
 
stingo said:
Pepper spray may be a good thing for self-defence. The downside exposes itself when it goes off un-noticed in your suitcase and then you put on what you think is a clean pair of underpants.
Click to expand...

I'd always wondered why you were called "Stingo"! :D

I've really enjoyed all the other posts as well, it's good to know that I'm not the only eejit about... :)
 
Refastening a clinker boat. I was inside, driving old fastemings out, wife outside driving new ones in.
My instructions were to do the 3rd one aft of the previous one. She heard 3rd one forward. That was the one I was sitting one.
She really nailed my arse.
 
I use to have a problematic transformer - kept blowing the internal fuse. After removing the cover to replace the internal mains fuse, I always tested it before putting the cover back on - this was easy because if it was working you could hear the buzzing of the transformer (if you got close enough).

When the live wire touched the ear, I think I would have broken the world shotput record as the tranny flew through the air and smashed on a wall. I bought a multimeter after that.
 
Dancing on a table in a house of ill-repute in Belize, too many sherbets, fell and put my hand out to break my fall... Yep right onto a glass of beer! Glass shattered and spent the rest of the night and the following day picking bits of glass out of my hand... Scars still prominent after 30 years! Whilst in a daze I needed a wee so remember standing in the "not very clean" urinal and writing "HELP" in my blood on the wall!! Didnt catch anything nasty that time.....
 
As a young lad and budding adventurer I decided to make a spear with an elderberry branch and my trusty old sheath knife. Whist sharpening the tip to a deadly degree of sharp (ready to impale anything that moved), I forgot abot not cutting towards yourself ............... on one upward cutting motion, the knife slipped and went straight up my nose ! Cut the left nostril and left a scar that can still be seen today !

Loads more to tell ............ one of the best has gotta be me as a 5 yearold with a can of baked beans that mother had emptied and thrown in the bin - only I retrieved the can and decided to pull the lid out with my finger ........... mother says I didn' like the fact that it was getting tighter and tighter the more I pulled it out, so I just gave it one mighty pull .......... end of index finger still has a lump where they sewed it back on !
 
A friend of mine was" wiping " a lead joint with a blowlamp and took the blowlamp away to view the work and trained it on his fathers ear who was working beside him. His father said he thought someone was talking about him.
 
Wanted to change rear drum brakes on car. Jacked it up (scissor jack).
Wheel off. Undid retaining screw. Wiggled, tugged drum ... so much so that the car fell off the jack trapping my pinkie between lip of drum and driveway.

Blood running down driveway ... me unable to extricate finger. Sat there pondering. Neighbour saved me. Realised why the drum wouldn't come off.

Had left handbrake on.

:rolleyes:
 
I've just remembered an even stupider one...!

I don't know if this qualifies as stupid or just damned unfortunate, but it will make you laugh... or wince...

On the same vessel as my first accident we were stripping down a watermaker and needed to get the pump body onto the work bench. So, as I was fairly annoyed with the way my crew of mechanics were fannying around I lifted it up and carried it through to the workshop - I guess it weighed about 70lbs (30+kg for the young), so as I'm about 147lbs wearing rigboots I was struggling, but trying not to show it of course...

Anyway, as I lifted it up to the workbench I leaned on the partly open under-bench drawer in which we kept the larger spanners, which was about thigh height.

Unbeknown to me "little william" had got caught in a crease in my coveralls and had just stuck his head into that self same drawer... I didn't scream but I had some very interesting bruising and swelling...
 
!st motorbike - I was sat on it (looking cool? :rolleyes:) after a ride, dropped the keys just in front of the engine......lent down to try and pick them up - inside of my wrist touched the exhaust header pipe. and stuck to it :eek:

Left a good sized chunk of skin when the pain made me wrench me wrist free. 25 years later the mark has (just about) gone.
 
As a youngster I was unwrapping the elastic from a golf ball. Getting fed up at he slow progress I speeded things up with a hacksaw. The liquid in the centre suddenly came out under considerable pressure and into my eyes. Thankfully no lasting damage.
 
There was the time I was about 7 and lighting bits of paper held in a pair of pliers - on the bar of an electric fire! :eek:
I landed the other side of the room and gave that game up.... :D

Arguing with a manager at work once with an air-powered drill in my hand, much gesticulating caused it to slip and it stopped going into my shoulder when my jumper got tangled round the foot-long 6mm bit!
Still got that scar after 20 years....

....or the time I was climbing on rocks in the Peak District. About 10 feet off the ground, I gave an almighty pull with one arm and leg and farted so loudly I fell off laughing. :D

I seem to make a habit of this sort of thing. :o
 
Not Recommended

OK!....having read most of the posts, winced, grimaced and laughed, also involving the RN I can have a loose association with sailing, and after reading the underpants and pepper spray story…here goes:

During my time in the RN I was volunteered to defend the oil storage facility in Faslane from the enemy (can’t remember whether these were SAS, SBS, Marines or a combination ). Anyway we had been standing around with our rifles for about twenty four hours and it was approaching 07:00. Now the old body clock sometimes gets itself into some sort of routine, and mine had a serious requirement to evacuate the remains of the meal consumed some fourteen hours earlier.

Fortunately for myself the oil storage was adjacent to the building used as the CS gas chamber which had its own facilities. So I made use of said facilities, and I was also impressed to discover that some thoughtful person had provided soft civilian issue paper. On completion of my constitutional I began to experience a burning sensation on a region of ones anatomy where you should never experience a burning sensation. Only to realize that this particular toilet was not sealed off from the main chamber and had been exposed to the CS gas somewhere in the region of a couple of hundred times, this allowing the said paper to become heavily impregnated.

I now know all about that song “ring of fire” and vindaloos are nothing more than a savory meat stew.
:eek:
 
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I filled the right burner of an origo alcohol stove while on the left right, the water kettle was heating up. Obviously, the flame jumped, from the shock I spilt some alcohol on my left hand. In slow motion: you don't feel anything at the start even though blue flames spout from your hand like you're Voldemort, and then look like a complete idiot running around the boat with flapping hands trying to imitate a seagull taking off, and then you realise that alcohol can de doused by water so you put under the tap. All of this in 3 tenths of a second. The red hand and blisters (minor) lasted two days.

Did I know that you shouldn't top up a stove with an open flame nearby? Of course, what sort of an idiot do you take me for!

Bought a wall lamp from Ikea, hallogene, including lead and dimmer. SWMBO thought it a great idea to use it as a fixed wall lamp, directly connected to the light switch. OK, says I, I cut the lead, attach it to the mains, fix lamp to wall and call in SWMBO for the formal procedure of throwing the switch (got to earn those brownie points, my friends). I throw the switch and instantly it goes dark while sparks fly everywhere from the lamp. The error of my cunning plan was that the lead and dimmer also contained the 12V-220V transformator. My family still reminds me of our indoor fireworks display.
 
Injury

I slipped on a slipway (well that's what they're for aren't they?) and broke my knee. Downside was I lost half a season sailing. Upside was a couple of weeks on the top floor of Poole General with fantastic views across the whole of Poole Harbour!
 
Seven years old when I first saw boys playing conkers at school. I understood that I neeeded a conker with a hole in it and a bootlace but didn't know how to make the hole. I tried by holding the conker in my left palm and stabbing at the conker with a skewer, thereby pinning my left hand to the work bench. 40 plus years later the scars have more or less gone.
 
Just done it.

After a week with torn ligaments in my ankle and hobbling around with much pain, this morning it seemed a lot better, so took the decision to have a shower, at last. Yes you've guessed it, I am now typing with a single finger on my left hand as right arm is swollen to twice its size and multicoloured bruise is developing well. I can move fingers though, just!
 
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