Socks and fings

jimi

jimi

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19 Dec 2001
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St Neots
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Socks,Socks,Socks
I just hate 'em

cos I know

I'll get tons for Xmas

I'd rather have a crate of beer and loads of pants to change into when I get caught short in the cold wevver and can't struggle out my oilies in time partic with my knackered knee.



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Re: Sacrilege

Socks are fab.. particularly big thick wooly ones.... Besides if you get long enuf ones they'll keep your knees warm.. if they're reeeeeeeeeeeallly good socks they'll also act like tubigrip too... suggest you ask santa for loadsa tubigrip...

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Uses for socks and fings:

1) make a hand puppet

2) make a willey warmer!

3) wear as socks!

4) make a small hat?

5) make wife feel superior by finding said socks after you couldn't

Fings are harder to use but:

handkerchiefs can be used for

a) blowing ones nose

b) cleaning oil from fings

c) straining gravy (I just thought of that one)



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Sock charity - please help

One of the big disadvantages of having sons 19 & 21 is that they think socks are biros (bear with me). Socks are not the property of an individual. Socks, like biros, merely exist. This theory means they always get newish, matching socks, while I always get whatever's left. I am the Battersea Dogs Home of socks. The only way I get matching ones is to buy new. Help me please. Send all your old socks to Jimi. he has promised to match them up and send them to me as a charitable Xmas act., Also he says he's going to give me all his Xmas socks. He's even going to request size 11s so they fit my big plates instead of his dapper tootsies .

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Make yer own Claymore

Materials:

one pair of extra-large red-heel socks
polyester fiberfill stuffing
brown embroidery floss
ivory thread
holiday trim - optional
mini socks - optional

Steps:

1. Cut both socks Body and Head

1. Stuff the body section. Add the muzzle (cuff from sock #2) by folding the cut edge of the white material under and attaching it to the brown body piece

2. Add the large mouth to the edge with elastic . Stuff the muzzle with feet. Attach the heel section from sock #2 to mouth area, folding the rough edges underso that no brown edges show around the mouth or tongue.

Legs

1. Turn the back legs (attached to body) inside-out and seam, leaving the foot and crotch areas open. Turn the legs right-side out and stuff.

2. Sew up the crotch area, but leave the foot areas open in case length adjustments are necessary.

3. Turn the front legs from sock #2 inside out, seam and turn right-side-out. Stuff and attach the legs to the body about 2-1/2 inches back from the white muzzle area . Adjust all four legs to the same length so that Claysie stands. Sew up the feet.

Face

1. Embroider the round brown eyes on the white muzzle, about one inch in from where white attaches to the brown material. The eyes should be more on the sides of the head than on the top or middle area.

2. Add the eyelashes. Nostrils, also on the sides of the head, are one-inch curved lines just behind the mouth.

3. To shape the face, make tiny stitches through the head, from top to bottom, about half way down on the muzzle. This will create an indented line that slightly separates the upper part of the head area from the lower part of the head.

Ears ... cosmetic purposes only

1. Cut the ears from the cuff of sock #1. Do not cut off the elastic at the edge. Turn material inside out and seam, leaving the elastic edge open. Turn the ears right-side out.

2. Sew the back bottom of the ears onto the head (on the brown material), about one inch back from the white muzzle area .

Dick

1. Cut the tail from the remainder of the cuff of sock #1. Turn it inside out, seam and turn right-side out. Do not stuff, so it will hang loosely. Attach the tail just beforethe red area on the rear end of Claysie.

Antlers

1. With brown material from the foot of sock #2, cut two antlers. They do not have to be exactly the same shape. Turn them inside out, seam, turn right-side out and stuff tightly.

2. Attach the antlers just over the ears on the top of the reindeer head, about 1/2-inch back from the white section. Stitch firmly to keep the antlers upright. If desired, choose a holiday fabric instead of the sock material and make the antlers larger . For each antler, use two 6" x 6" squares of fabric, right sides together.Use a general antler design , but make the antlers taller and a bit wider. Sew them in the same way as the regular antlers and attach.

3. In addition to the tall, almost cactus-shaped section of the antlers, real antlers actually have another small section that comes forward over the face. To add a little piece like that, make two pieces that look like round thumbs about two inches long. Attach one to the base of each antler so that it sticks out over the face, but curve it upward so it does not block the eyes. Sew several small bells onto the antlers.

Embellishments

1. Sew several bells onto the antlers.

2. Add a matching holiday ribbon around Claysie's neck.




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