Serving my Penance!

Nostrodamus

Nostrodamus

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7 Mar 2011
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www.cygnus3.com
So, I could try to sneak back on here like a scolded whippet with his tail between his legs but what’s the point. Better to come back bouncing like a kangaroo’s testicles in a sack race.

I tried writing a book of inane questions but when you have no one to answer then it is just not the same. At least on here you know you are going to get those who will give you good answers, bizarre answers, an answer that is nothing to do with the question and those who will slag you off because they are bored between episodes of Dead Enders or Coronation Sleep.

Now as penance should I say seven “Hail Benetaus” whilst burning the blue ensign, admit that I have been busy organising a work to rule by Dolphins in the Med, or agree to clean the hardly used Musto sailing shoes of everyone I find with Yacht club initials blazoned on the back of their boat. (Hope the moderators will not ban me for commercialism in respect of the Musto plug).

No instead I shall agree to abide by the ten sacred Commandments of sailing as set out by “foolish sailor” on another forum.

These are….

1. I am the skipper your god, you shall have no skippers before me
2. You shall not hit earth or land or rock, you shall not sink, or take water aboard through carelessness, laziness or by my meanness at sending bad weather your way
3. You shall not take ch16 in vain, but will learn radio/ssb ettiquette
4. Remember to reef, it is holy to reef early
5. Honour the weather, or it shall kicketh your ass
6. You shall not enter a unknown harbour at night
7. You shall not become a stinkpot
8. You shall not sail from your pocketbook, but will perform as many tasks on your own boat as possible
9. You shall not exaggerate your own experience or tell others that place you haven't even been are unsafe, but instead will listen and learn from those who know more
10. You shall not covet others boats, others’ lives or others wives. Your boat and life is beautiful. Ok you can covet others wives especially if they are hot and look good in a bikini
 
Ahem.....

The weather kicketh my ass (a great deal these days)

BUT

The weather shall kick my ass (alas, I fear it may well do so again)

I know we aren't allowed to comment on present day grammar (let alone the monstrous abuse of apostrophes that spreads like a plague across the land) but I do think Commandments, of all things, which are, presumably, to be inscribed upon tablets of stone for posterity, should employ correct archaic grammar.

OK. I'm going back under my stone now.
 
ah, the return of the prodigious sun :) Good to see you back.


an Eleventh Commandment ?

Thou shalt not heed the rabid wing of the forum, neither their expostulations, not their criticisms, for they are still stuck in an office, whilst thou and thy family are on the high seas.
 
sarabande said:
a
Thou shalt not heed the rabid wing of the forum, neither their expostulations, not their criticisms, for they are still stuck in an office, whilst thou and thy family are on the high seas.
Click to expand...

An office? What's that?

Nothing like expressing forbidden opinions on an internet forum to get the fish snapping! :)

Oh, and by the way, Nostrodamus, please tell the foolish sailor - no need to thank me - it's a pleasure!
 
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sarabande said:
ah, the return of the prodigious sun :) Good to see you back.


an Eleventh Commandment ?

Thou shalt not heed the rabid wing of the forum, neither their expostulations, not their criticisms, for they are still stuck in an office, whilst thou and thy family are on the high seas.
Click to expand...

Good grief - I read that as "stuck in an orifice" which, although apposite, witty and graphic, seemed a bit strong!

Must go to Specsavers! :rolleyes:

Welcome back Nostro!

Richard
 
You're just one of 'the best'!

Nostrodamus said:
So, I could try to sneak back on here like a scolded whippet with his tail between his legs but what’s the point. Better to come back bouncing like a kangaroo’s testicles in a sack race.

I tried writing a book of inane questions but when you have no one to answer then it is just not the same. At least on here you know you are going to get those who will give you good answers, bizarre answers, an answer that is nothing to do with the question and those who will slag you off because they are bored between episodes of Dead Enders or Coronation Sleep.

Now as penance should I say seven “Hail Benetaus” whilst burning the blue ensign, admit that I have been busy organising a work to rule by Dolphins in the Med, or agree to clean the hardly used Musto sailing shoes of everyone I find with Yacht club initials blazoned on the back of their boat. (Hope the moderators will not ban me for commercialism in respect of the Musto plug).

No instead I shall agree to abide by the ten sacred Commandments of sailing as set out by “foolish sailor” on another forum.

These are….

1. I am the skipper your god, you shall have no skippers before me
2. You shall not hit earth or land or rock, you shall not sink, or take water aboard through carelessness, laziness or by my meanness at sending bad weather your way
3. You shall not take ch16 in vain, but will learn radio/ssb ettiquette
4. Remember to reef, it is holy to reef early
5. Honour the weather, or it shall kicketh your ass
6. You shall not enter a unknown harbour at night
7. You shall not become a stinkpot
8. You shall not sail from your pocketbook, but will perform as many tasks on your own boat as possible
9. You shall not exaggerate your own experience or tell others that place you haven't even been are unsafe, but instead will listen and learn from those who know more
10. You shall not covet others boats, others’ lives or others wives. Your boat and life is beautiful. Ok you can covet others wives especially if they are hot and look good in a bikini
Click to expand...

How can anyone ban Nosty!??? …… get a grip (bo**ox Laura will be on ‘my case’ again!) :( :rolleyes: ;) :confused:
With writing and an outlook such as this I would rather read you questions, comments and answers than many others. :)
Absolute ‘pure gold’! ;)
Thanks for a great start to the day …… & can I have permission to re-post this ….. as it sums-up quite a lot of certain attitudes. :eek: :)

Edit:
I wish I was an English teacher marking a paper, because you would get an A + star just for the second sentence! :D
 
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Thank you for the welcomes although I don't know if I am a lost sheep returning to the fold or a lamb to the slaughter. Either way it looks like a bit of mutton on the menu.
 
Now be honest! what have you been doing? where have you been and was it worth it?:D
 
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