scuba gear

[tcm]

following discussions here, I have gone and bought a 10 litre air tank and inflaty jacket and breathing stuff and weight belt. In fact, two sets. This gear is actually much cheaper than ropecutters, not quite the same I know but loads more fun and only 900 quid all in.

I plan to use these to untangle the props, perhaps sort out the anchor now and again, pick expensive things (incl anchor) off the sea bed (so long as the sea bed isn't too far down and if it is then soddit) and perhaps clean up the barnacles off the props now and again and generally goof about under the surface, and especially collecting lots of bundles of money or jewels which have been accidentally dropped overboard in the shallow areas by pissed/rich riviera types, which i am hoping is very common indeed, especially near the Eden Roc which is £600 a night each and they only accept cash, so some of it just must get blown into the sea, mustn't it?

 

[dangcharios]

Damit why did,nt I think of that

Alan

 

[coliholic]

So you can earn a bit of (undeclared) cash on the side, sorting out other people's rope tamgled props etc. Perhaps put a sign on side of the Leopard - diver for hire, cheap, but not very deep.

Cor looks like a new career is opening up for you. If you have full lobotomy after this experience, you could then re-train as an airline pilot. Perhapos get a job with eas... oh no better not one of their pilots might get offended.

 

[tcm]

also not in the marinas as they can be a bit stinky. Unless of course there's a whole heap of loot down there in which case no problem.

 

[oldgit]

Have you really thought about this.ie what about Giant octupus, monster sharks,and of course all that floating poo.Plus poss of glowing in dark forever due to Sellafield etc etc and of course you will need to have loads of tattoos, speak fluent cornish and swear an enormous lot.Ps you will also need scruffy landrover with lots of stickers.Think of the cost.

Service with a snarl.

 

[ParaHandy]

The story so far....

A swarthy latin fat git has visited the burgee factory with his bodyguards to “muscle in” on the scam but, taken short, has had to visit hlb’s toilet……….

In the explosion, the fat git had accidentally opened the secret cache in hlb’s toilet and a cascade of cheques, cash, euros, bearer bonds poured out. His bodyguards rushed in and picked him up. He looked on in astonishment as the money fluttered slowly to the ground. “Peeck it alla up” he said to his thugs “I gotta a leetle surprise for heem”

Somewhere in the Mediterranean the following day……..

It was a bright cloudless day on fat git’s boat which had all the burgees in its hold. The thugs toiled away filling the cement mixer and emptying the cement into the blocks around hlb’s feet. Satisfied that enough was there to sink him, fat git looked into the still-defiant eyes of hlb. “you understanda, we just friends, but theresa not enough room for the two of us so you gotta go, eh? Hey, I geeve you one as momento” and with that, hlb slid under the surface clutching the burgee which fat git’s just given him. Fat git dusted the cement off his coat, nodded to a bodyguard, and the boat sped away.

A little later a boat sped by; the crew, on their second pretsa of the day, saw a scrap of colour on the surface. Screeching to a halt the Mv Diana II pulled up. The crew pulled on the burgee… “something solid’s at the bottom o’ this, skipper”. Rushing from the bridge, the skipper put on his scuba gear and dived into the water…………

Would hlb be resued; will the burgees be recovered………………

 

[longjohnsilver]

So come on oldgit, what sort of tattoos should I get, where should i have them and how much f#######g swearing should I be doing?? Used to have a Discovery but that's long gone. It really must be true what my mates say, I can't be a real diver!!

Matt just make sure that you have a good pair of gloves, if you try cutting rope or cleaning props underwater your hands will get ripped to shreds without you even realising it without them!

Oh, and make sure that no one can start the engines!!

 

[hlb]

Re: The story so far....

HLB sat on the bottom of the ocean, smoking a fag and contemplating the position. He'd left the burgee on the surface so it would not get wet and holding on to its long piece of string so it wouldn't float away.
For f*** sake, he exclaimed, as some one yanked at the string. Dragging HLB's fag from his mouth. He then got very angry. Cos his nose was burnt!. And pulled like hell on the string. Dragging Diana 2 and all the motally crew. Down to the bottom. Diana 2 landed on the concrete and smashed it all to bits. Freeing HLB at the same time. TMC and Coiholic were not pleased. Cos they had been having there tea at the time and the sandwiches were now all soggy and the tea was a bit weak as well. Never mind says HLB, I'll sort it out. So lighting another fag, swims down to Diana 2's toilet, fiddles about a bit with the pipe work and sits on the seat to admire his handy work. Soon there was a big explosion and a lot of gurguling and bubbles and things. Diana 2 shot to the surface and doing a neat roll in the air. The water all fell out before she landed with a plop on the sea. Hlb calmly stuck the burgee on the mast and joined the others for tea. And they all lived happily ever after.

Have you sent off Your Stamped. SAE and cheque. Yet.

Haydn

 

[coliholic]

Re: The story so far....

Sounds a bit of an unlikely story. After all, who in the Med drinks tea? Gotta be double espresso.

Apart from that, the rest of the story seems quite credible. Anyone else see any minor flaws in H's story?

Tch, just can't get the right staff can you?



<P ID="edit"><FONT SIZE=-1>Edited by coliholic on Fri Mar 29 11:13:21 2002 (server time).</FONT></P>

 

[DavidJ]

tcm
Forgive me if I'm wrong but are you qualified to dive
It's one of those sports which is very easy but a lot can go wrong
eg micro bubbles due to sawtooth diving profiles
accent rates causing the bends
flying periods after diving
etc
etc, and many many more
If you are a diver then apologies, I'm only concerned for your welfare. If not sign up for some training please.
David

 

[oldgit]

Ooo Arrrr difficult one this but suggest leave small amount of body not done. Ref swearing one expletive per sentence will normally suffice to establish credentials.Our local diver type man came into us today for few odds n sods.He is giving demo using old diver type gear in chatham dockyard(sorry heritage centre) later on.
Telling us about weight of helmet etc etc.He looks about 70 but keeps telling us he is only 21.Latest job is courtesy of HM customs.been checking bottoms of ships arriving from certain carribean islands.he has been lucky once or twice recently.Naughty sailors weld box below water line and fill with all sorts of goodies and he goes down to find em.Funny but no one seems to want to claim them when discovered.

Service with a snarl.

 

[Medskipper]

Great idea! I trained as a sub aqua diver in my twenties so I think I will do the same as you, sod the rope cutters! Just hope I can remember which way round the demand valve goes!!!!

Barry

 

[longjohnsilver]

Twin hose

Barry, surely in your day it was twin hose only, and cylinder was an old fire extinguisher!!

And no doubt you had to cut and glue your own wet suit, or maybe this is showing my age............... ;-))

 

[DavidJ]

scuba gear-spare air

Weve got it as part of our scuba gear for additional safety but it is stand alone. It's called 'Spare Air', is a small 300cc aluminium bottle with a regulator and mouthpiece attached and is filled from a scuba tank (or scuba shop). At sea level it's got about 30 breaths which may be enough to undo a modest prop tangle.
David

 

[tyger]

Re: Training

TCM
I agree whole heartedly with David's post - do get some training.
In addition unless you have a "C-card", or equivalent proof of qualification, I think that you will find that most responsible diving operations will refuse to re-fill your air tanks.
If you are qualified I appologise for preaching (especially to a rev'd gent ). If not you're about to discover a great new sport.
Terence }

 

[oldgit]

Re: More usefull serious help needed.

With ref to TCM post.In the same spirit of new things to do.I have just bought a second hand space shuttle with a low hours lunch pad which I intend to use to launch satelites but on a cash only basis.Please give me loads of dead serious advice about courses and stuff to obtain certificates etc and of the risks involved .This is not a wind up to see if anyone is awake and it is not April !st etc etc.

Service with a snarl.

 

[tyger]

Re: More usefull serious help needed.

OG
You need a siver comet badge and card signed by Dan Dare. There-after when answering questions on the PBO BB you will be entitiled to answer "This IS rocket science. I know because I AM a rocket scientist."
LOL

 

[Buck]

Re: More usefull serious help needed.

You will need access to large quantities of liquid oxygen, plus the use of a blast area for launches, somewhere that is un-inhabitable and if populated, then only by sub human creatures with webbed feet, Marine Parade should do it.

Buck

The thing about men and fish is one is always trying to eat the other.

 

[Scubadoo]

I can vouch for that, I learnt the hard way when cleaning my props!

RM.

 

[Scubadoo]

A single 10litre, real divers use twin 10litres ;o)

RM.