Sartorial Advice, east coast

[Twister_Ken]

I have been contracted to deliver a yacht from the East Coast to the South. Starting somwhere called Dipswitch, I believe.

Given that what passes for water on the East Coast contains ten percent solids originating from London's sewage system should I:

a) buy a cheap disposable all in one body suit, similar to those used by forensic scientists, and burn it on rounding North Foreland?

b) use my old Mustos and donate them to a charity shop after arriving in the Solent?

c) visit a charity shop before departure, and buy a flat cap, a gaberdine mac, moleskin trousers and some industrial wellies?

d) wear my best oilies, and face an horrendous dry cleaning bill?


<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.writeforweb.com/twister1>Let's Twist Again</A>

 

[ParaHandy]

oldest pair of trousers - held up, of course, with string at the waist and just below the knees - and cloth cap

That should do?

tools: shovel for mud removal?

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[pvb]

Ah, but it\'s summer...

...and I've been told that all true East Coast sailors simply sail in the nude in warm weather - avoids nasty stains on the clothing and it's easier to wash the nasties off. Also scares the trippers away!

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[Evadne]

a) Disposing of toxic waste inside the 12 mile limit? The local boys in blue on HMS Turdhunter will have you for that my lad!
c) You'll need more than one pair of wellies, preferably the type that come up to your armpits. Archeologists can date how long an East coast creek has had moorings in it by the density and burial depth of wellies.


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[surekandoo]

I'm not sure we'd want people like you sailing anywhere near the east coast with that sort of attitude. What's wrong with dispersed solids anyway? And you can't even spell Ispitch properly!

Mind you you'd have to learn to navigate properly with all those sand banks, swatchways, gun towers etc.

It might be better for us all if you considered hiring a "proper" east coast skipper to get the boat to Ramsgate, where you could take over for the boring bit along the south coast.

If you do decide to do it yourself, post the passage plan on this site, and we'll critique it for you. Better to be safe than sorry!!

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[claymore]

Ken, the Twister of the Sh**ways nm

.

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[john_morris_uk]

Re: Ken, the Twister of the Sh**ways nm

Just remember that if you fall overboard you won't swim, you'll just go through the motions.

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[Mudplugger]

Re: Ken, the Twister of the Sh**ways nm

With current weather conditions, Thong that matches your complexion, T-Shirt, saying "what,s a South Coast Lad doing HERE!" and the ubiquitous Yellow Wellies, with or without the the white socks...don,t forget the traditional lead & line, after heaving you can sniff to find out where you are....Just remember the East Coast is the original home for yachties, long before you S.Coasters jumped on the bandwagon. Have a great sail, at least you<ll have more tide going than coming.

<hr width=100% size=1>Tony W.

 

[StugeronSteve]

If I remember rightly a pair of blue grey trousers that come up to the ears will be suitable. That was the colour my red ones finished up when I was sufficiently oiled to believe that the stream by the Pin Mill slip way had a firm shingle bed and would form a walk way down to the river at low water..

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[Peppermint]

Re:You won\'t need oilies

The secret of the East Coast is that it's tropical. All tales of the hardiness of the sailors and the difficulty of the sailing waters are without foundation. It is a mill pond basking in endless sunshine with well buoyed channels like nautical motorways.

The streets of Ipswich are paved with gold.

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[pvb]

Gun towers???

You're not referring to the independent <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.sealandgov.org/index.html>Principality of Sealand</A>, are you? Prince Roy will be after you!

Seriously, their website has an excellent weather page, updated every 5 minutes!

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[Mirelle]

Let\'s get this straight

You are setting off from a marina whose bills would make MDL green with envy, located in what was once the world's largest enclosed dock basin, the work of the great Peter Schulyer Bruff, the Brunel of the Easten Counties, who unlike Brunel died on board his yacht in comfortable old age.

On your way down river you will pass Foxes where the Oysters come from, with a chandlery that most south coast marinas would die for, then an MDL marina to starboard, followed by the Royal Harwich Yacht Club, which has more Royalty on its books than Claridges, then Pin Mill, where Edward VIII entertained Wallis Simpson, as was.

On passing HMS Ganges you are required to salute, as also to all P&O ships in Harwich Harbour, and all Trinity House vessels except the lightship on Shotley Spit which has been sold off and must NOT be saluted at any price.

All clear now?

Attire: doeskin reefer jacket with Club buttons.
Club tie
White cotton shirt
White cotton duck trousers
White socks
White deck shoes
Cheesecutter cap. Since this is summer, the white cover is obligatory

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[claymore]

Hells Bells

Ken
ye'll look chust sublime
Whit a mine o' infermation is yon Mirelle!
Wallis Simpson - wiz that the one invented the booncin' bomb which Guy Gibson wrote that great soundtrack for....or wiz tha' Guy Mitchell?

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[steffen]

Not so sure anymore

Wow, Mirella. I intended to come to Lowestoft and Harwich in a few weeks time, but reading your prerequisites i am not so sure now. I can deal with rogue waves, broken masts, mobo's, storms, but this is to much.
Whats the penalty for not complying?

Happy sailing, Steffen

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[Jacket]

Re: Not so sure anymore

You have to clean Mirelle's bottom (of weed, that is).

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[ghostwriter]

Re: Not so sure anymore

no problem Steffen , you ONLY have to wear all that when Mirelle's in sight , but since Mirelle these days is donned with a pink skirt , for once , just for this one time you are excused if you would wear a Volendammer Ladies outfit /forums/images/icons/wink.gif

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[surekandoo]

Re: Gun towers???

Amazing!! You learn something everyday. I've had a look at the website(s) and found the whole thing fascinating. I've only been sailing in the Thames Estuary for about 5 years and travel to my mooring from the East Midlands so I'm not a local and still learning the area.

I still think it's the best area in the UK to sail. OK the coastal scenery may not be up to much, but some of the estuaries are beautiful (Walton Backwaters, Deben etc.), plenty of traditional boats, and it's not crowded by comparison with the Solent. Weather's generally better too.

Magic!

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[sailorman]

Re:You won\'t need oilies

you south coast millionares thould be able to buy lots of the best ale in the u.k in ipswich,as our berthing fees are less than 1/2 yours!.
suggest the following venues if your "up-to-it".
the greyhound fine adnams + exellent food all actually made on site
the fat cat many ales all good (no food or musac)
the nelson good ale +good food.
at your s/ coast prices it should be possible to stay on the orwell atleast 2 years & have cash left over to buy the best sowester ect for your trip.

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[DanTribe]

You say that you've been contracted to deliver the yacht, so that makes you a paid hand, so the correct garb is:~
Peaked cap to doff to us gentleman yachties [ex park keepers hat is usual]
Soup stained gansey
Serge trousers with belt & braces
Ex WD brown plimsoles

JDS illustrations of Old Harry is a good guide.

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[pvb]

Ssshhhh....

Best keep quiet. We don't want too many trippers visiting!

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