Sailing and marriage?

sailaboutvic said:
Steve
Putting to one side what this thread is about for a min .
To have compassion for someone just because his a member of this forum , isn in my books ok , what if someone happen to have killed a child , do we still have compassion for him just because they happen to post here ?

Sorry thread driff .
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I think the OP is reveling a little in his own misery here, with Tamburlain-esque verse, but introducing the killing of kids is a Godwin-like escalation that helps no one.
 
sailaboutvic said:
Steve
Putting to one side what this thread is about for a min .
To have compassion for someone just because his a member of this forum , isn in my books ok , what if someone happen to have killed a child , do we still have compassion for him just because they happen to post here ?

Yes your right entirely, of course we wouldn't. but that's not the case here. believe it or not I just don't like being harsh or hurtful to individuals.

Happy days to all

Steveeasy
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Gobes said:
I think the OP is reveling a little in his own misery here, with Tamburlain-esque verse, but introducing the killing of kids is a Godwin-like escalation that helps no one.
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Maybe killing of a child was a bit strong , the point is no one has to be compassion to wards anyone just because there happen to be an member of this or anyothe forum .

As for this Op as I said much earlier on he is better off going to find professional help , then spill is problems here , the only thing he fine here is mix views , which isn't going to help him in any way , it might make things worst for him even make him depress , which sound has he already is .
Which is why he needs to get help .
 
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sailaboutvic said:
We now started to bring in our parents into this. Like some here I am from an older generation ,
the world was a very different place then .
Policeman would clip you around the ear .
Life was hard and husbands and wife did abuse each other , some times in words other time a lot worst .
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Still does not make it right though does it ?
Furthermore it does not always stop at the couple themselves if they had a family & it is a proven fact that children from abusive families often repeat that mistake in adult life
 
You have my sympathy. But I must say that I bought my current boat cheaply because the owner was having marriage problems for which his wife frequently blamed the boat. He was therefore after a quick sale. I kept in toutch for a while, but unfortunatly, selling the boat did not save his marriage.
 
sailaboutvic said:
Maybe killing of a child was a bit strong , the point is no one has to be compassion to wards anyone just because there happen to be an member of this or anyothe forum .

As for this Op as I said much earlier on he is better off going to find professional help , then spill is problems here , the only thing he fine here is mix views , which isn't going to help him in any way , it might make things worst for him even make him depress , which sound has he already is .
Which is why he needs to get help .
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I'm still scratching my head at the killing-a-child jump. I'm genuinely confused at how you got there.
 
Although I agree entirely that the OP should remove himself from discussing his situation on this thread and get himself professional help.
 
Gobes said:
I think the OP is reveling a little in his own misery here, with Tamburlain-esque verse, but introducing the killing of kids is a Godwin-like escalation that helps no one.
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Gobes
He need to revelling his misery else where .
what about his poor wife misery ,
how you or anyone else can feel sorry for this guy is beyond me .
He may not had killed a child but he could have easly sent his wife over the top or is that OK with you and other here just because he happen to own a boat ?
 
The guy is an self confessed bully who has put his wife though God know what ,
We have to wonder how much more there is to this tale and what we are not being told .
Thousand and thousand of men as well as women are tortured year in and year out by people just like the guy in the opening post .
Why anyone has any compassion or feel sorry for him is beyond me .
He is very lucky she's put up with him for as long as she has .

He says he doesn't want any sympathy , so why come on an sailing forum and tell his tale ? Or doesn't he think other sailor are going to be more sympathetic towards him , read what some have wrote , looks like he could be correct .
I would have had move compassion for him if his boat sunk , then this tale he tells us.
Then to blame the boat for his problem just shows how much responsibility he has taken for his Action .
The only person we should be feeling sorry for is for his wife who at last have come to her senses and walked away from the abused .
This whole thread should be removed it has no place here .
 
Bow42 said:
Gobes
He need to revelling his misery else where .
what about his poor wife misery ,
how you or anyone else can feel sorry for this guy is beyond me .
He may not had killed a child but he could have easly sent his wife over the top or is that OK with you and other here just because he happen to own a boat ?
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I didn't say I felt sorry for him.

I just pointed out he hadn't killed any children.

Why are you struggling with this?
 
Horace said:
Was it carmel? He seems to be trying to abuse me :D
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No it was not but i posted it because i feel we are all entitled to our opinion ( within reason) & i find such private replies pretty gutless. If a forumite has a point to make they should make it publicly not try a private vendetta.
Clearly there are times when a personal reminder on a subject can avoid embarrassment all round and one would apreciate that.. I do not expect comments of the type received above
However, the op ( i hasten to add that it was not him by the way)chose to place his private lifeon the forum for whatever reason & should expect comment either adverse or favourable- and he has had a fair share of both so should not complain.
In my reply i have always made it clear that whilst i have little sympathy i do not know the details so make comments with reservation but based on my own experience-- which i suspect most of us do about most of the subjects on this forum
 
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Bow42 said:
The guy is an self confessed bully who has put his wife though God know what ,
We have to wonder how much more there is to this tale and what we are not being told .
Thousand and thousand of men as well as women are tortured year in and year out by people just like the guy in the opening post .
Why anyone has any compassion or feel sorry for him is beyond me .
He is very lucky she's put up with him for as long as she has .

He says he doesn't want any sympathy , so why come on an sailing forum and tell his tale ? Or doesn't he think other sailor are going to be more sympathetic towards him , read what some have wrote , looks like he could be correct .
I would have had move compassion for him if his boat sunk , then this tale he tells us.
Then to blame the boat for his problem just shows how much responsibility he has taken for his Action .
The only person we should be feeling sorry for is for his wife who at last have come to her senses and walked away from the abused .
This whole thread should be removed it has no place here .
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Correct.

I'm all those things.

But I've said this before to you...

I did not come on here for sympathy from other sailors.

I don't deserve any sympathy.

I don't care if people call me an arsehole, I am one.

I came on here to express how I feel, primarily about losing the boat.

This thread is allowing me to get over things and accept my fate.
 
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Daydream believer said:
No it was not but i posted it because i feel we are all entitled to our opinion ( within reason) & i find such private replies pretty gutless. If a forumite has a point to make they should make it publicly not try a private vendetta.
Clearly there are times when a personal reminder on a subject can avoid embarrassment all round and one would apreciate that.. I do not expect comments of the type received above
However, the op ( i hasten to add that it was not him by the way)chose to place his private lifeon the forum for whatever reason & should expect comment either adverse or favourable- and he has had a fair share of both so should not complain.
In my reply i have always made it clear that whilst i have little sympathy i do not know the details so make comments with reservation but based on my own experience-- which i suspect most of us do about most of the subjects on this forum
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Could'nt agree more so who was it?
 
Decided to update this thread as it's been a while..

The boat hasn't been used since July.

I occasionally visit to check the lines and start the engine etc.

There's a worrying rumbling from the prop when she's put into gear, I suspect the prop is fouled!

--

My ex and her new partner want to use the boat together.

I'm not happy about it.

The thought of her using OUR boat with a new partner makes me feel sick.

I've said no boat usage until we decided what's happening with the boat.

That said, she doesn't want to buy my share out.

She's offered me her share at market rate.

Market rate of a 30 year old boat = overpriced nonsense.

Stalemate at the moment.

I can imagine it will get legal very soon.
 
I would not be happy about the new partner enjoying my boat either.
It's sad when the lawyers have to get involved but unfortunately it is often necessary. In your circumstances I would not leave it any longer. You might think you know your wife but a new partner changes everything.
 
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