Regret living aboard, anybody?

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BlueSkyNick

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When the repetitive question, "should we live aboard and go cruising" comes up, many responses are along the lines of "why wait any longer?" or "wish we had done it 20years earlier".

Nobody ever says "wish we hadn't done it but we are stuck with it". I am guessing this is not because they don't exist, but have given up and gone home or just don't want to openly admit that they wish they hadn't done it.

I suspect the major issues, are:
- ill health and/or old age
- strain on marital relationships
- running out of money
- sheer boredom

Are there people out there who regret living aboard or long term cruising ?
 
I enjoyed living aboard but after a year succumbed to general boredom and missing friends and family. I think we were too young to retire. My husband was bored too but wouldnt admit it in a million years. It caused our relationship a lot of strife. We now live in a house and work for at least 6 months of the year and sail and 'live aboard' for the rest of the time. Its working for us so far .......
 
We had been working very hard for years in our own business and decided to have three months off one summer to have a nice long holiday on our lovely new boat. Trouble is my husband didnt want to go back when the three months were up. I got carried away with the idea of it all as well and within a few months we had packed up our livelihood, rented our house out and fostered our cats.
We were in our early forties.
 
With the lack of contract roles are you thinking of heading off sooner than originally planned?
I am seriously considering this option when my current contract finishes on the 1st May and have planted the seeds of taking time out with my wife.
 
It takes ages to set off. Boat to buy, commission, pets to care, equipment, job to leave, house to sell or let, furniture to store, etc.

To pack it in can be done on a ten second whim. Done that three times I reckon. The last time I was on passage to Sardinia from Sicily. I thought screw this I need a change. swung the wheel and headed for the Rhone and home. Six weeks later I was sitting in the kitchen relieved that the house wasn't dragging or rolling.

Therefore folk talk about the dream to start for years but talk about the plan to finish in just days.

I reckon.
 
I read somewhere( can't remember where!) that the average life span of a liveaboard is 5 years!

My view is that if you are youngish(!), it is vital to have a goal, a job,something to give you focus. when we left I was in early 40's. If we hadn't had to stop from time to time to make money I think I would have had enough by now.

The most disillusioned cruisers we meet are the ones who treat it all as one long holiday. They soon get bored of yet another desert island/tropical paradise/pot luck.

Best of luck!

www.gerryantics.blogspot.com
 
[ QUOTE ]
Are there people out there who regret living aboard or long term cruising ?

[/ QUOTE ]Only regret is that we did not do it earlier.... (that is a pretty normal response in the liveaboard community).
 
We don't regret doing it (2 yrs) but certainly felt we did it too early. We have been back in the 'real world' for the last two years and life is great.

For what it's worth the cruising period did give us time to 'recharge' and gain a different perspective on life.

We miss the 'apparent lifestyle' but not the very real shortcomings.

We still have the boat, only sail for fun when we want to, and will return to cruising again when we are older and have more money (v important) but ONLY for a few months each year.

I always (ALWAYS) found that the happiest cruisers were the one's who did it for 6 months per year and spent the other 6 months doing anything else but cruising. Also, the one's who were NOT doing it on a budget.

Hey ho....

Chox
 
Better to have try and fail than not to try at all !

No pockets in shrouds !

You never know when your numbers up !

Sorry about the cliché's, I feel sure some out there can make cliché's for the negative side !
We are in the process to go as liveaboards and are just waiting for the house to be rented.
Failure is a possibility for us the same as for anybody but it's something we have wanted to do for a long time.
I'm not quite sure on your question "Are there people out there who regret living aboard or long term cruising ? "
because this implies a present tense. Surely if it's not for you one should just reverse the situation and pack up and come home. I really don't think it's a sign of defeat, at least you've had a go. We have decided to do at least a year no matter what to settle into the way of life and after that it is an open book.
No doubt their will be plenty out there that wished they hadn't, also plenty that have done it and come home or any where else land based and are just as happy of their time and experience as liveaboards/cruisers.
As stated "they gave up reading forums at the same time! " so maybe you won't get the answers you are looking for.

IMHO one should just look at it as a part of the cycle of life and nothing should be carved in stone. Yes, no doubt there will be worries about money, health and a strain on relationships.
Apart from health one should have thought these through to a point of being able to manage them.
As for boredom surely that is down to ones expectations. If you are looking at it as an extended holiday rather than a way of life you might well get bored. There can be only so much time you can spend drinking G&T's in the cockpit.
Plan your time, visit, tour, trips, cycle, boat maintenance, hobbies, fish, dvd's, cook, work, rest and play and the list can just go on and on.....................

I feel sure those who have done it and come home ( we all have to come home in one way, shape or form ) have benefited from their experience in some way or another. /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif
 
I'd agree with chox, 6 on/ 6 off seems like a good compromise between life ashore and afloat.

FYI, on our year off, we met too many people who had cut all landside ties and were as miserable as sin. Usually, one partner or the other missing relatives / needing heatlh care / drunk by 10 am...

10 years seems to be the max time for an extended cruise and even then these are the exceptions.

I agree with the general response of no pockets in shrouds / one life / etc but a reality check is in order as well.
 
Excellent question, meriting an honest answer.

I b-ggered off during the last recession, but it was easy 'cos I was a single bloke with an inexpensive boat and happy to live a frugal lifestyle in return for the unknown delights of extended sailing having 'done' the weekends and 2 week annual holiday since, well , all my life..

In fact it is as good as the effort you put in, and if, for example, you stay away from marinas and have a really good RIB there is an actual sense of adventure.

My 'year off' became several, partly because I was able to work along the way, which really integrates you into other cultures, and partly because there didn't seem any valid reason to stop !

A smart chap like you will listen pretty carefully to swimbos thoughts.
A 'taster' trip would be good, eg an Atlantic circuit and with your boat you might love to include Canada/Maine/??.

Rent the house out to thoroughly nice and vetted tenants for a year and give it a go?
I would guess that what you save in marina fees would fund a liveaboard lifestyle day for day ?

I would be wary only of the danger of slowing down or getting out of touch professionally. I f you can export part of your skillset and keep busy enough ( apart from maintaining the boat and socialising) the cv will look fine as and when you return..
The real buzz for me was realising I could earn money along the way and realistically having greater control over my finances and time than ever was the case ashore. At that point I knew I could perpetuate the adventure and learn rather than stagnate..
Does that help any?
 
Good question.
We have been doing it (ie liveaboard) for five years, all in the Med. We have met two main groups. Those who have sold up bought the boat and decided that this is the life for them or, other people (like us) who have rented out the house and will cruise as long as we are enjoying ourselves.
We are now considering what to do next. To go transatlantic would require a refit of the boat, to go home and sell the boat may be difficult at the moment,we should be seeing more of our families etc etc.
I think what I'm trying to say is that we take it year by year and make a rough plan which is very flexible.
We met one couple who having decided to go home, got as far as Gibralter and turned around---and that was four years ago.Someone else said they had come out for five years but decided not to count the first two years as they were just getting the hang of it.
In summary, everybody seems to have a different outlook and strategy but when you begin to regret it----quit!!!.
 
I hope you are asking this question merely out of interest and not in order to help make a decision on whether to become a liveaboard or not.

When I read statements like "6 on/ 6 off seems like a good compromise between life ashore and afloat" and "we met too many people who had cut all landside ties and were as miserable as sin", I can't help but laugh. It's all so personal that statements like these must be viewed either objectively or taken with a pinch of salt. I'm not saying I completely disagree with Chris but I know plenty of people who live 12 months a year on their boat (myself included) and wouldn't want it any other way, and I know many who are trying to cut their landside ties who have never looked back. If you want a statement including the number 6 in it then remind yourself it's 'six of one and half a dozen of the other'.

I say just do it and see what happens. If there's one thing you won't regret, it's giving it a go, irrespective of whether it works out or not.
 
After working all my life, being made redundant at 47 then picking up a lucrative 4 month contract. I then decided to take an extended holiday and took five months doing a French canal circuit. That recharged my batteries and I continued contracting which allowed for longish sailing trips between contracts. I had a longing to do it again, so I did in 98, this time heading E in the Med and went as far as the Porquerolles before heading home for winter.
I now have the hankering to pack up and head off again, but this time for a few years, so I am now aiming towards that.
So not having a contract to go onto is no bad thing, head off for a while and recharge, but don't burn your home boats. You will then see things through different eyes in a year or so.
 
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