Questioned by Guardia Civil

Yeah I totally agree - when I first went to Spain in 2000 I was warned by several long term liveaboards and long term ex pats who had met with the Guardia Civil both on sea and on land, and the consensus was that if you know what's good for you, you do not mess with the Guardia Civil! If you can do so, avoid them at all costs, but if you are confronted with them in any way shape or form, they are always RIGHT and you do not upset them.
 
Hi Smee
I always make sure when I see the Guardia visit my marina which is quite often as one of the marineros brother is one I always slope over say goodday & offer them a cigar or drink this results in always getting a friendly wave on the odd occaision when I see them on the boat & also getting invited to the marineros partys which have to be experianced to be believed, I'm afraid bribery is an accepted form of Spanish culture which works very well for me. I always give the marineros a parcel of booze at Christmas & get them all a small present each, being a small marina this ensures I really get looked after through the year. Although I have tried to explain this to many of the other English berth holders some of them cant seem to understand that to get favours you have to bung them a couple of euros or bottles of booze now & then. I got to pick whichever 10 metre berth I wanted when I changed boats last year, such are the benifits of nuturing the spanish way.
 
OH dear,lets no go too far down that road.I kept my boat in a place where they had a boatman.Everytime I went down to the boat I was reminded there had been an incident and he had saved the day.In the end not very pleasant,many people leftAlthough he was the lowest on the ladder he ineffect controlled the whole club,moorings etc.
 
Not quite sure how to do this in a boat.

If stopped for (alleged?) speeding by a cop car I always get out quickly and walk back to them before they can get out. This seems to put them off their stride! The usual conversation is very polite, get a verbal caution, promise not to do it again and get off.

I hope no traffic cop reads this but it has worked on several occasions. I always admit that I can't have been looking in my mirror enough which nearly always raises a smile.
 
Just don't ever try this if you visit the USA, at least not unless you have a generous life insurance policy that includes being gunned down by police /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif
 
Magnum, I believe there is only one way to deal with foreign hick and rural police, from a Texas State Trooper or a Moroccan sergeant to a Guardia Civil.

You should preferably be wearing a pair of baggy khaki shorts with matching shirt and a pith helmet.

Once they start questioning you, you should stare solidly into the far distance in a set and determined manner, yours hands gripped tight in a fist by your body.

If the questioning should become more insistent or is accompanied by form filling, it is wise to start singing a rousing patriotic song. Your repertoire could include Rule Britannia, followed by Land of Hope and Glory and if this does not move or impress them, a verse or two of God Save the Queen is not without recommendation.

These should be sung whilst still staring into the far distance but can be accompanied by an optional, but well regarded, single tear.

Once your recital has come to an end, snap smartly into a salute and hold this whilst continuing the distance stare.

You will find that your adversaries will recognise they have met their match with a superior person of breeding and will slowly slink away to harass a local, engage in drug smuggling, or whatever else they do to supplement their meagre incomes.

Please note: No foreign law enforcement officer was genuinely slighted during the writing of this.
 
Just received a call from Princess in Mallorca. The Guardia Civil have put a restraining order on Magnum which makes it illegal to board the vessel. Furthermore they want to speak to me within 15 days of 23rd December (date the letter was issued, which means by this Saturday) and suggest that the fine may be around €6000, but could be more or less. I'm absolutely gobsmacked.
 
Ouch ! Not time for working out wrongs and rights. I only know French police and not Spanish but my course of action would be :

1) Hire Spanish lawyer who speaks a bit of English - a local dignitary - type would help ( Definitely not Spanish-speaking Brit..
2) Get him to speak immediately to whoever and say that you have just received letter, didn't appreciate anything done wrong, very sorry and will be on earliest flight to meet them at their convenience etc.
3) Learn minimum of Spanish as follows: 'Sorry', 'Happy New Year', 'Hello' ' sorry for inconvenciening you' 'Fancy a Beer on the boat some time'
4) Go and meet them with him - unfortunately with cheque book/cash.

(well it's how I would play the CRS or Police Maritime in France , not to be trifled with)

Good Luck
 
Cover of Darkness

Wow Magnum, that's astonishing. Very sorry to hear this. I have no idea what to suggest, I suppose you had better go and see them avec lawyer this week.

There is an equiv process in France that I have seen nearly first hand - a good buddy of mine got done summer 2005. He was speeding in the jetrib in Villefranche and the police RIB stopped him. They gave him a ticket that said he had to go to the pleece station in Nice (10miles away) on a specified day, about 2 weeks later. He did, and was apologetic, and they gave him ticking off but no more. He is a commercial grade captian, sailed around the world and the horns, a really nice 42 year old presentable competent polite guy, a kiwi. He was pissed off to have to take a day off work to go to Nice but that was nothing like the treatment you are getting......

I'd move to another country. They can get stuffed. Dont spend any more UK money on their damned tourist industry if this is how they treat you. The actual officials you will have to face will be goodfornothing non-wealth-generating parasites. But on the day you see them, just think that, dont say it :-). Remember they will never get to a ride on a p67 as a welcome guest :-)

Alternatively if you want to fly down 2moro afternoon, then we sneak out of marina at midnight and do a night run to Toulon in one hit, I'm up for it. We'll be in toulon before they know what's happened. We could take some decals (Braveheart, praps) and I'll bring some ships papers, we'll just say it's my boat....
 
Re: Cover of Darkness

Nice idea jfm. I'm half tempted, but I'll stick it out for now.

I've now instructed a local solicitor but am advised my chances of escaping this €6000 fine are slim. Spain has really gone down in my estimation. I had thought that this supposedly modern European country was above this type of behaviour, but apparantly not. I'm not sure I want to stay there now. Why the hell should I?

Maybe it's time to consider another more welcoming country.
 
Re: Cover of Darkness

blimey. As DS says, £4grand is a bit steep for a fine even if you hittem and sinkem. A bit of wash or even loads and loads of wash, it is ridiculous.

At this stage i wd probly try jfm's midnite flit, and wd suggest first finding if taking a decent set of bolt crops is needed in case they have tried dastardly trick of chaining the boat to the dock. 9pm is probly the time to go when all having dinner but not so late as others get alarmed. I wd bet that someone mite find a space in lanap cos prinny are also there. Only slight prob cd possibly be if there is not enuf fuel on board to make 220nm straight hit to toulon, in which case go to barca first where they hate everyone spanish and porto olimpico really actually do 24hour fuel.
 
More welcoming country?

The Spanish (like other so-called European countries) regularly flout what would appear to be normal protocols in law. Take their "land-grab" planning laws as a classic example. How, in this day and age can the removal and destruction of your home be countenanced in civilised Europe?? But then their's Greece. Don't go there with a camera!! And I will forever boycott that filthy place as a result of what they did to some retirement-age plane spotters.

Cut 'n run sounds like a romantic idea - but that is all it is. They'll track you down quickly and then you'll lose an expensive P67!!

France is far more civilised, and the laws (whilst different to ours) are far more closely related and understandable. Then there's the Med coast of Morocco, with French laws...For a fraction of the price you are currently paying (about a quarter!) you can get better facilities. Check out Noon Site for all the cruising places and facilities round the world. It's a yotty site but its very good.

Good luck in whatever you decide, and I certainly wouldn't be putting any more of your hard earned dosh their way!
 
Re: Cover of Darkness

I am appalled that they are going to fine you £4,000 for a possible 1 knot infringement.

If the Khaki shorts and patriotic songs don't work, can you ask for a court hearing instead? After all, I assume there is a burden of proof on their part.

I think if you have to pay it, you should kick up a fuss in English language newspapers and letters to justice/maritime ministers.

Cutting and running sounds a good idea until you remember that Tony has signed up to the European wide arrest warrant, so they can now ask Brit/French/Polish police to pick you up and extridite you without any fuss.

Keep us up to date on events and I think YBW.com should chip in and pay the fine as thanks for so many informed and entertaining posts.
 
Re: clarification

That's what they said. Excessive speed and too close causing "grave danger".

The 6 knot limit applied at the breakwater. This incident was just outside where there is no speed limit.
 
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