Qualify in vessel immobilisation

jimi

jimi

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<A target="_blank" HREF=http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/4055651.stm>Inspired by this </A> I'm going to start padlocking up inappropriately moored vessels and charge a £100 release fee. I will however also apply for a Govt training grant to teach others to do the same .. bloody complicated job ..think it will have to be a 3 part degree course!

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You'll finish up with one of them ASBOs, you will matey..

There was a news item a few weeks ago about a clamper that got himself ASBOd. Apparently the b****r was even trying to clamp cars that were doing a three point turn on his patch.

<hr width=100% size=1>Think I'll draw some little rabbits on my head, from a distance they might be mistaken for hairs.
 
Here\'s a good place to start...

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No need to clamp - surely you just remove their rudder and they won't be able to go anywhere?

Trying to be serious for a moment, I always hated clampers (especially the b@st@rd who did me at Winchester Station a few years back) until we started having problems with students from a nearby college, leaving their cars parked on the road where I live. The road in question is narrow, steep and winding, and the cars were parked in such a way that you took your life in your hands driving along it. As it's a private road (ooh, get you!) and there would be personal liability issues in the event of an accident, we reluctantly decided to get a firm of clamping contractors in. The effect was magical and, I have to say, I felt curiously satisfied to see an inconsiderately parked car with a clamp on it, and a £100 bill waiting for the owner. Flippin' students; in my day we couldn't afford cars and had to crawl to lectures on our hands and knees.

Still hate effin' clampers tho' /forums/images/icons/smile.gif

<hr width=100% size=1>Je suis Marxiste - tendance Groucho
 
This must be one of Jimi's most imaginative posts! I can watch wheel clampers from my surgery window when I have a few free minutes, and it makes me angry just seeing them! They just wait for the people to park, and then as soon as they leave, they clamp the cars. At least they could warn them.
Now how will Jimi clamp a boat? He could lock the gear lever in reverse, or chain the boat to its mooring. Being the sort of superman mast climber he is, you would probably see a masthead halliard clamp preventing any sail movement at all. Then he would probably run a line to the prop from the top of the mast so the poor owner would be b##gered every which way.
Thing is he would almost certainly release Scottish speaking peeps without a charge. Shucks, I can't do that dialect.

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I have known creditors have a diver wind and padlock chains around the props of the boats of people who owe them money in order to immobilise them.

Night time operation so only diving skills needed, no conflict management ones.

John

<hr width=100% size=1>I am the cat but I am only 6.
 
You don't happen to live near me do you? Would your post code start with an SO and would the offending students [a very liberal use of the word] belong to an ex Teacher Training establishment named after a famous cake burner?

I voted for the clamping too.

<hr width=100% size=1>Nickel

Being paranoid simply means - having all the facts.
 
My No.1 son and heir got plenty of tickets in your area, if we are talking about Peter Symonds.
Also, No.2 crawled to lectures on hands and knees a few times, usually back from the pub at lunchtime!

<hr width=100% size=1>Tide and time wait for no man.
 
No, not Peter Symonds, the other side of Town - near Nickel, as he guessed.

As my kids will probably eventually go to PS, I'd better be polite about it. No such reservations about the place near me which, according to the notices outside, is now called "University College, Winchester". Ho hum /forums/images/icons/crazy.gif

<hr width=100% size=1>Je suis Marxiste - tendance Groucho
 
Was in the Angel in Andover last week end and apparently thart was part of the University College Winchester in the 1500's .. very strange!

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