Preparing for customs - trash your boat before they do

dylanwinter

dylanwinter

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www.keepturningleft.co.uk
I have been reading a book about a cruise around the Baltic in the 1920s when some of the countries there were alcohol free.

The author of the Cruises of the Joan - W. E. Sinclair had a great way of dealing with customs people

the full customs passage is here

http://www.keepturningleft.co.uk/blogs/the-voyage-of-the-joan/

but this is the nub of it

"I used to prepare things for Customs officers as I got to know their ways. Five minutes’ intelligent work in the Joan’s cabin could make it a fearful place to a clean and well-dressed official. A pail of water slopped on the floor and the boat-hook, mop, broom and sweep arranged to discourage entry; charts, books, clothes scattered over the bunks as if we had just been saved from a shipwreck; wet oilskins placed so that no one could miss them, made a scene that repelled and disgusted a searcher.

I used to watch their faces with glee and can easily recall the look of despair that overcame the determination to do their duty."

so is this still a good plan


joan-1-300x197.jpg
 
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Never had to deal with Customs; don't they do it all via call-centre these days? :)

Had the Men In Black from UKBA on board once; they thought we were arriving from France when we'd just left Chichester Harbour from Itchenor (go figure). Not sure how they'd react to a shambles below, but I wouldn't be surprised if it triggered their "something irregular going on here" feelers rather than dissuaded them to enter. I've gone the other way (mostly with French officials in mind rather than Brit ones) with a smart leather folder, ship's name on the front, containing every document under the sun, neatly arranged, with a pocket inside the cover to hold everybody's passports on a foreign trip. And I'd probably make them a coffee :)

Pete
 
On two occasions in the past have tried to make jokes with customs, and in both cases instantly regretted it! learn to play the game.
 
prv said:
I've gone the other way (mostly with French officials in mind rather than Brit ones) with a smart leather folder, ship's name on the front, containing every document under the sun, neatly arranged, with a pocket inside the cover to hold everybody's passports on a foreign trip. And I'd probably make them a coffee :)

Pete
Click to expand...

Yes we've used that approach; worked well. Always offer a coffee but never accepted as far as we are aware. And always ask for a "fiche" so that subsequent attempts at boarding for inspection can be waived away.......
 
Dirty clothes and underwear in the rig bags hiding the duty free fags in the bottom of the bag. It worked sometimes.
 
My first channel crossing, nearly 50 years ago concluded with a meal in St Valery En Caux. I was alone in ordering steak and chips, the rest of the crew settled for sea food something. We let immediately afterwards for Shoreham in a boat without a radio or working engine. As we crossed the channel each crewman become violently ill with food poisoning, the mess was indescribable. On arriving in Shoreham customs arrived to check our duty allowance, we were well over in both booze and fags. He reached the bottom of the companionway, looked round, sniffed the air and returned to the cockpit, signed the papers and hurriedly left.

Not recommended, but effective.

Peter.
 
Adonnante said:
My first channel crossing, nearly 50 years ago concluded with a meal in St Valery En Caux. I was alone in ordering steak and chips, the rest of the crew settled for sea food something. We let immediately afterwards for Shoreham in a boat without a radio or working engine. As we crossed the channel each crewman become violently ill with food poisoning, the mess was indescribable. On arriving in Shoreham customs arrived to check our duty allowance, we were well over in both booze and fags. He reached the bottom of the companionway, looked round, sniffed the air and returned to the cockpit, signed the papers and hurriedly left.

Not recommended, but effective.

Peter.
Click to expand...

Recruit a rugby player with a penchant for regurgitation onto your crew? :)
 
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