Pithy log entries

[wonkywinch]

A little thread drift for amusement. From aircraft tech logs (P) pilot report (S) solution by engineers

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing S: After brief search, engine found on right wing.

P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget.

 

[CalicoJack]

In the Art of Course Sailing, Sextant is faulty or I’m sailing up Ludgate Hill.

 

[escapism]

I'm sure my wife appreciates this log entry from a few years ago:

0345 Unmoored. Ruth surpassingly ratty. Put kettle on.

 

[mjcoon]

In the Art of Course Sailing, Sextant is faulty or I’m sailing up Ludgate Hill.

"Art of Course Sailing" isn't really about courses!