Pirate Names For The Weekend

Jailbait /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif at your age /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif you should be so lucky /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif
 
I'd be Redbeard Rum, ah ahaaarh!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sir Walter: Oh yes? And who will be your captain? Hmph! To my mind,
there is only one seafarer with few enough marbles
to attempt the journey to Walton On The Naze?.

Edmund: Ah yes, and who is that?

Sir Walter: Why, Rum, of course. Captain Redbeard Rum.

Edmund: Well done. Just testing. And where would I find him on a
Tuesday?

Sir Walter: Well, if I remember his habits, he's usually up the Old
Sea Dog.

Edmund: Ah yes, and where is the Old Sea Dog?

Sir Walter: Well, on Tuesdays he's normally in bed with the Captain.

--------------------

[cut to a table in a dark room. Rum is sitting with his back against
a wall]

Rum: Aaaaaaahrrrrr Aaaaaaahrrrrr Aaaaaaaaaaahrrrrr. Me laddy.

Blackadder: Ah-haah-ah, indeed. So, Rum, I wish to hire you and
your ship. Can we shake on it? [holds out hand]

Rum: aah-ahhh! [strokes his hand] You have a woman's hand, milord!
I'll wager these dainty pinkies never weighed anchor
in a storm.

Blackadder: Well, you're right there.

Rum: Ha ha ha. -Aah! Your skin milord. I'll wager it ne'er
felt the lash of a cat ['o' nine tails], been rubbed
with salt, and then flayed off by a pirate chief to make
fine stockings for his best cabin boy.

Blackadder: How canny, I don't know how you do it, but you're right
again.

Rum: Why should I let a stupid cockerel like you aboard me boat?

Blackadder: Perhaps for the money in my purse [holding it up]

Rum: Ha. -Aah! You have a woman's purse! [takes it from him and
examines it daintily] I'll wager that purse has never been
used as a rowing-boat. I'll wager it's never had sixteen
shipwrecked mariners tossing in it.

Blackadder: Yes, right again, Rum. I must say when it comes to tales of
courage I'm going to have to keep my mouth shut.

Rum: Oh! You have a woman's mouth, milord! I'll wager that
mouth never had to chew through the side of a ship
to escape the dreadful spindly killer fish.

Blackadder: I must say, when I came to see you, I had no idea I was going
to have to eat your ship as well as hire it. And since you're
clearly as mad as a mongoose I'll bid you farewell [gets up]

Rum: Aaah, courtiers to the Queen, you're nothing but lapdogs to a
slip of a girl.

Blackadder: Better a "lapdog to a slip of a girl", than a... Git.

Rum: So you do have some spunk in you! Don't worry, laddie,
I'll come, I'll come [holds out his hand]

Blackadder: Well, let us set sail as soon as we can. [they shake]
I will fetch my first mate, and then I'll return
as fast as my legs will carry me.

Rum: Ah! [pointing] You have a woman's legs, my lord! I'll
wager those are legs that have never been sliced clean off
by a falling sail, and swept into the sea before your
very eyes.

Blackadder: [crossly] Well, neither have yours.

Rum: That's where you're wrong [throws aside table showing
his lack of legs]

Blackadder: Oh my God!

Rum: No point in changing your mind now; no one else will
come. The whole thing's suicide anyway. What's the
first mate's name?

Blackadder: Percy.

Rum: A nautical cove?
 
Redbeard, before anyone else says it, you have altogether far too much spare time /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif and Oi be totally lorst now /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
Brilliant effort /forums/images/graemlins/cool.gif
 
/forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gifand he offered me a berth /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif

and I was going to wear pink shorts /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif

ooh you are a one /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
 
[ QUOTE ]
SWMBO is - Cap'n Bailey Birdbrain
Miss Morgana is - Cap'n Darby Knockboots
Master Morgana is - Pirate Isaac the Badly Burnt

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh great, I'm going to be popular with them for this, don't forget to tell them it was Louise' idea /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
 
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