Paedophiles and marinas

[fireball]

Re: Moderators, attention please.

Yes, it is appropriate. We know what societies are like that do not have these laws and they are less safe. The law is not just there to protect us from the paedophiles it is also there to protect us from ourselves.

To be clear - I'm not advocating a change - just asking if the punishments currently given are appropriate. It's always a good idea to ask that sort of question - even if the answer is "Yes" ..

 

[JumbleDuck]

Re: Moderators, attention please.

You're attempting to resolve the problem by telling the potential victims to stay away from strangers ...

The whole stay-away-from-strangers advice business is fairly useless. For a start, it simply does not work. Experiments have shown that even when fully primed with "stranger danger" warnings, children can still easily be talked into trusting a stranger. In any case, there are lots and lots of strangers we expect children to trust - police officers, teachers, doctors, nurses, train conductors and so on - and it's quite unreasonable to expect a child to be able to decide who is trustworthy and who isn't. Society rightly says that women who are raped are not to blame and yet we suggest that children who are assaulted could have avoided it.

In the OPs case, though, there is no need to ask children to make a decision about someone, and they could reasonably be told "Never, ever go anywhere with that man and never, ever get on his boat and if you see another child with him or on his boat tell me at once."

 

[Metabarca]

Re: Moderators, attention please.

Seen from the perspective of Abroad, the British perception of paedophilia is rather bemusing: yes it's a scourge that should be punished but this obsession seems to me rather like picking at a scab that was mildly itchy until it hurts so much your entire mind is focused on it. I daresay there are as many paedophiles where I live, and I expect teachers and parents know to look our for molesting, but there isn't the same fear haunting society here and certainly none of the witch-hunting that seems to go on in the UK. My feeling is that banging on at the problem in this way is not going to make it go away: it's just going to make it seem much worse than it is.

 

[fireball]

Re: Moderators, attention please.

The whole stay-away-from-strangers advice business is fairly useless. For a start, it simply does not work. Experiments have shown that even when fully primed with "stranger danger" warnings, children can still easily be talked into trusting a stranger. In any case, there are lots and lots of strangers we expect children to trust - police officers, teachers, doctors, nurses, train conductors and so on - and it's quite unreasonable to expect a child to be able to decide who is trustworthy and who isn't. Society rightly says that women who are raped are not to blame and yet we suggest that children who are assaulted could have avoided it.

A teacher at my school ended up residing in HMP - liked the girls ... but we're supposed to be able to trust teachers ... probably priests as well ... or perhaps we can't just assume they're safe. It's a shame as it means it's so much harder for adults to do things for kids to enjoy.

In the OPs case, though, there is no need to ask children to make a decision about someone, and they could reasonably be told "Never, ever go anywhere with that man and never, ever get on his boat and if you see another child with him or on his boat tell me at once."

Only if everyone knows who he is ... which often leads to other repurcusions ...

 

[Resolution]

Re: Moderators, attention please.

You're attempting to resolve the problem by telling the potential victims to stay away from strangers ...

So are they allowed to make friends?

With todays online world there's many ways to make friends - and it's quite common for a child to be groomed online - thinking they're talking to someone their own age - sometimes it's just to send images, othertimes they arrange a meeting etc etc ...

So Stay Away from strangers isn't really all that helpful. In fact, staying away from strangers is probably less safe than saying hello - cos at least you can see them!

No, I didn't say that we should tell kids to stay away from strangers. My actual words were "Be wary of talking to strangers and run away if they offer you sweets".
Reading the many comments and advice in this thread is very depressing. I hadn't realised we have such a big problem with the subject. So in the interests of updating my old-fashioned saying, I now offer:
1. Be wary of talking to strangers and run away if they offer you sweets;
2. Your family and their friends are also likely to be molesters etc, so be wary of them, especially if they give you sweets;
3. The internet is very dangerous, so do not use it unless under parental supervision;
4. Social media is even worse so ......: and
5. Never ever talk to the man in the boat on pontoon XYZ as he is a pedo; you may throw stones at his boat and undo his mooring lines at night.

I give up.

 

[JumbleDuck]

Re: Moderators, attention please.

Only if everyone knows who he is ... which often leads to other repurcusions ...

In this case they do know who he is, so a direct warning might. General warnings don't; parents should look after their children.

 

[l'escargot]

Re: Moderators, attention please.

A teacher at my school ended up residing in HMP - liked the girls ... but we're supposed to be able to trust teachers ... probably priests as well ... or perhaps we can't just assume they're safe. It's a shame as it means it's so much harder for adults to do things for kids to enjoy. ..

You can't make judgements based on occupations in this situation, children are more likely to be molested by a family member or family friend than anyone else. Children have to know that they can reject behaviour that they are uncomfortable with no matter what the source is.

 

[DanTribe]

Re: Moderators, attention please.

The world I lived through in the 60s and 70s was no safer or more dangerous than the world today. Awareness of the dangers is greater. Expecting a child to understand those dangers is ridiculous, expecting a child to stay away from strangers because they have been told to may work.
Hoping they might report something untoward may work.

Perhaps the world was a better place when we all trusted people or maybe be we just thought it was.

In any event the law exists to protect us all, even if the Law is an ass at times.

One big difference in previous childhood years [in my case 50s & 60s] was that there were fewer organised "activities" and so we kids just went out to play. This resulted in a greater age range of ages in groups of kids and the older ones imparted a bit of street knowledge, so we got to know who the local weirdos were, who to avoid and who was just a grumpy old b....r.
Of course, statistically, some of those older kids may have been perves themselves!

 

[fireball]

Re: Moderators, attention please.

5. Never ever talk to the man in the boat on pontoon XYZ as he is a pedo; you may throw stones at his boat and undo his mooring lines at night.

Tsk tsk - kids are supposed to be in bed at night ... and now you're encouraging them to be up undoing lines - think of the risk! What if they fall into the water in their rush to get there!

I give up.

quitter!

 

[fireball]

Re: Moderators, attention please.

One big difference in previous childhood years [in my case 50s & 60s] was that there were fewer organised "activities" and so we kids just went out to play.This resulted in a greater age range of ages in groups of kids and the older ones imparted a bit of street knowledge, so we got to know who the local weirdos were, who to avoid and who was just a grumpy old b....r.

and paedophiles had to be hands on to get their kicks because photos and film was just too hard to replicate and distribute.

These days it's much easier to get hold of pornography - both legal and illegal - and if you know what you're doing you can make it very hard to be traced. So kids these days don't always know who the weirdos are ...

 

[Alex_Blackwood]

Not Portchester (With a T) but Paulsgrove. Different place and some of what was supposed to have happened there was "Urban Myth"