Ozzy Joke (No boat connection at all)

And again



The Australian, the Frenchman and the Canadian were bragging about their sexual escapades with their respective wives.

“After I have zee sex wiz my wife’” said the Frenchman, “I cover her wiz crepes suzette and eat it sensually off her silky bare skin. She becomes so excited she rises centimetres off ze bed.”

“After I screw my wife,” drawled the Canadian, “I pour maple syrup on her and lick it off slowly. She’s in so much goddam ecstasy she rises feet off the bed.”

“Me?”, says the Aussie. “When I’ve finished with my old lady I wipe my dick on the curtains and she hits the roof!”


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A pom goes to Australia to manage a sheep station.
After a few days he sees a dust cloud approaching and his neighbour arrives in a ute.
Oz "G'day, come to welcome you. I'm having a bit of a party Saturday night, want to come?"
Pom " That would be jolly nice"
Oz " Better warn you, these shindigs can get a bit rowdy. We start with a few beers and that usually leads to a fight or two.
Then we calm it down, with some smoochy music and have some dancing.
Inevitably that gets us into a romantic mood and the night always ends with lots of shagging"
Pom " Sounds like a great party, I'm definitely on. How many peaple are going to be there ?"





Oz " Oh no mate, it's just you & me"
 
Two Aussies are adrift in a lifeboat. While rummaging through the boat's provisions one of them finds an old lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie suddenly appears. This genie tells them that he only grants one wish.

Without giving much thought to the matter, the lamp finder blurts out, "Turn the entire ocean into Fosters!"

The genie claps his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turns into beer.

The genie disappears and only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull breaks the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances.

The second Aussie turns to the first and says, "Nice going mate! Now we're going to have to piiss in the boat."
 
I can see Oen's point of view - he makes a fair comment, and gets shot down in flames!

It is a rather tasteless joke really, and just actively promotes an unfounded stereotype myth re Aussies - in reality the vast majority of folk from Oz are decent lovely people (my brother-in-law is one) - same as the folk in Britain or almost anywhere else for that matter.

If the Scuttlebutt is supposed to be for sailing related posts, would it not be better to keep it for this purpose, rather than clogging it up with 'jokes'? /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif

My turn to duck behind the parapet now, in Smiffy style....... /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
Tasteless, hmm...so you don't want me to tell the one about the village boy from St Andrews and his first visit to Bridgetown, or the old white Bajan and the perfume bottle, and especially not the one about the American woman tourist and the turtleshell....
 
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I can see Oen's point of view - he makes a fair comment, and gets shot down in flames!

It is a rather tasteless joke really, and just actively promotes an unfounded stereotype myth re Aussies - in reality the vast majority of folk from Oz are decent lovely people (my brother-in-law is one) - same as the folk in Britain or almost anywhere else for that matter.

If the Scuttlebutt is supposed to be for sailing related posts, would it not be better to keep it for this purpose, rather than clogging it up with 'jokes'? /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif

My turn to duck behind the parapet now, in Smiffy style....... /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

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Don't you bring me into it, you old woman! Personally I think that there is room for a little humour anywhere, I think you do too really? I mean ya wears that daft hat, on all these forums don't ya! /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
Yep, there is room for plenty of laughter and funnies.

It's called The Lounge.

Seriously, we were given the lounge to get this rubbish out of the boaty forums, and then the mods leave this in here...

I'm not pointing percy at anyone's bonfire, but in the same way that I don't like people butting into conversations uninvited, I don't like people posting in the wrong forum. Plain and simple, that's my position, and I'll stick by it.




So there.
 
Re Bajan jokes.........

Rupert, please do go ahead and tell the jokes you have described (they sound intriguing...) if you want to - everybody else is telling jokes on this thread anyway, so you might as well join in!

And I doubt that your jokes are as 'tasteless' as the Ozzie joke - or are they??
I am not averse to a good joke - although I am not too keen on the type posted by Lakey above.
I was merely expressing a comment in agreement with Oen re usage of the forum.

I am sure that moboers wouldn't be too keen on sailing discussions happening on 'their' forum, and vice versa, if there are already appropriate forums for discussing said topics.
 
Smiffy old boy, you've brought yourself into this matey!
Agreed re I think there is room for a little humour everywhere - hence my pathetic attempt at some re that daft hat...... /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

But I do enjoy reading about yachting issues on scuttlebutt, and jokey issues in The Lounge if I am so inclined.....
 
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Yep, there is room for plenty of laughter and funnies.

It's called The Lounge.

Seriously, we were given the lounge to get this rubbish out of the boaty forums, and then the mods leave this in here...

I'm not pointing percy at anyone's bonfire, but in the same way that I don't like people butting into conversations uninvited, I don't like people posting in the wrong forum. Plain and simple, that's my position, and I'll stick by it.




So there.

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So who is making you read them? If you see a post you don't like, why read it? The joke was posted as such, it didn't sneak up on ya.......just pass on by, and leave the policing to the Moderators. /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif
 
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So who is making you read them? If you see a post you don't like, why read it? The joke was posted as such, it didn't sneak up on ya.......just pass on by, and leave the policing to the Moderators. /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif

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Because (a) I object to people posting threads that the mods clearly should pull, and (b) the mods aren't doing their jobs. Simple, huh?
 
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Smiffy old boy, you've brought yourself into this matey!
Agreed re I think there is room for a little humour everywhere - hence my pathetic attempt at some re that daft hat...... /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

But I do enjoy reading about yachting issues on scuttlebutt, and jokey issues in The Lounge if I am so inclined.....

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Martin old boy, you brought my name into it.......Nobody makes anybody read any post, the joke was posted as such, if ya don't want to read that sort of stuff then don't read it, then ya wont get offended. Personally, I don't mind anybody posting a smile on ANY forum. So here are some more:) /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif
 
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So who is making you read them? If you see a post you don't like, why read it? The joke was posted as such, it didn't sneak up on ya.......just pass on by, and leave the policing to the Moderators. /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif

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Because (a) I object to people posting threads that the mods clearly should pull, and (b) the mods aren't doing their jobs. Simple, huh?

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Then instead of whinging, just report your views to the Moderators, simple huh? /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif
 
Me ain't offended Charlie old boy! Me just thinks that if some sort of 'discipline' (too strong a word perhaps?) isnt maintained, then we shall soon be hunting for the yachtie pearls of wisdom (scuttle in haystack syndrome?) amongst all the jokes on Scuttlebutt if this trend is encouraged......
Oh, and I like smilies too - here is one /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif - although I am sure that the Daft Hat is more effective than a smilie any day for generating mirth..... /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
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the Daft Hat is more effective than a smilie any day for generating mirth.....

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Whats all this discussion of Mirth generators? /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif

This shouldnt be on Scuttlebutt, this is more suited to PBO surely? /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Chris
 
What is this whinging? Do you mean whingeing?

WTF should I waste my time telling the mods how to do their jobs - the basic misbehaviour is down to the bloke from the lake....

Do you want to settle this outside the Castle tomorrow at 6ish?
 
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