Ooh Gawd, it gets worse

[Guest]

SHE just popped in and had a look on the 'puter whilst I was in the loo and read the post about "taking over". Did she laugh? err well that's not quite the phrase to use. Now knows all the tricks I was going to pull next time we went boating to get my rightful place back.

She seems to think the only one of you with any sense is pauline

Has Mr B got a spare room I can rent?

Answers in a plain brown envelope please...

 

[hlb]

And how long did you say you'd been married Colin!!
You havent even got the basics yet have you??
So now you've also taught her to work the computer!!
Tut Tut when will the man learn.
Colin yer letting the side down.
You're supposed to teach them to make cups of tea, do washing and ironing Driving is ok as long as its limited to the hoover, eeerrr and driving back from the pub but only if your that pissed that it dosent shock your nervous system.
I've been teaching mine flower arranging, keep fat sorry fit,
and painting. Thats on a piece of paper only. There not safe round the house with a brush!! And anyway then they get ideas of grandure.
Colin this is serious For the sake of man kind sort this mess out.
Burn your underpants or sumat. Stamp yer foot with a heavy hand.
If this gets out we're all dooomed!!

Haydn

 

[Guest]

I need some help H, 'cos it's getting even worse still. I persuaded her that she had to do the Day Skipper's theory course if we're going to get a bigger boat based on the sea. Seem logical eh?

Now I've just had to check her homework and she's bollocking me 'cos I have to look in 5011 to find out what the symbols mean. What's worse, last week I got a couple of HER homework questions wrong.

I'm starting to feel very depressed. Where's my Malt Whisky gone? Oh no don't tell me she's...............aaarghhh.

 

[longjohnsilver]

Pillock!

So how are you gonna stop SWMBO reading this.
You really have blown it in a big way. Really must agree with haydn.
PS what are you cooking for dinner?

 

[Guest]

Re: Stage 1 successfully completed!

You're doing very well indeed Colin. She is determined to take charge, and take control. My wife insisted on learning to fly an aeroplane, so I meekly agreed, and then promptly paid for all 40 hours up front. Six months later she ferried us to France every weekend, watched me drink a nice bottle of wine, and then flew us home again.

In the S of France it will be just peachy, cos we can goof around on the beach, while they go and get diesel or perhaps check something. Or book a berth, and then come and get us later. The very top people don't drive yachts their boats and some don't even stay in them. Oh no. They sit on the beach at Cannes "See that boat over there- I think it's ours, you know. It seems to keep the wife amused. "

When you feel ready, you should move to stage three: teach her marine diesel maintenance. She will tinker long into the night, and make everything just perfect. Then, at your command, the men in white coats will take her away as such behaviour is obviously insane.

 

[Guest]

I bet she doesn't realise that Pauline is AKA Boy George......need I say more?

 

[BarryD]

Slippery slope Colin. I taught SWMBO how to use the computer and she promptly found QVC.CO.UK - No comment

Barry D.

 

[paulineb]

Oi cobber ...

I can assure you that I'm all woman ;-)

Pauline B

 

[KevL]

What on earth was she doing out of the kitchen!-NM

;-)

 

[oldharry]

Re: What on earth was she doing out of the kitchen!-NM

Well, my Mrs goes off out to work while I go boating. That was fine till they taught her how to use a Computer - now nothings sacred!

 

[Guest]

great tactics now sit back & relax

Fine let her take over after all you are in command .
She can do the lot while you chat to other commanders and view their staff !!!
OH and of course make sure the beer stays cold.