Ode to an anchor

[ParaHandy]

Oh! I come from Fleetwood
where I'm much misunderstood
I have a mucky grey anchor
and I look such a tanker
I'm given to call her a boy
but she's really a lump of alloy
What should I do with my Bruce
to give it some spruce?

 

[Phoenix of Hamble]

And I come from the East
but my boat is deceased
I had a CQR
that held like manure
but in future I know
its to a spade I shall go
and plain it will be
not painted with glee

(Well, what else rhymes with CQR?)

 

[tome]

I come from the Viking
The Spade aint to my liking
The fishermans too heavy
When I've enjoyed a bevvy
The Bruce is damned untidy
I'd never have one by me
So sailing near and far
My trusty CQR

 

[StugeronSteve]

You shouldn't give a F*#k,
about the appearance of your hook,
cos if you paint it up all prissy,
you will look like a big sissy.

If you were careful where you sank it,
it would have stuck like s#~t to a blanket.
So just leave Bruce grey and grotty,
and spend yer dosh on totty.

 

[Kilter]

I sail in the west
And what I’ve found best
To anchor,
Sans rancour,
In bight or in bay
By night or by day,
Avoiding distress
I love my Fortress

 

[fisherman]

Anchoring songs:
A Long and Winding Rode..........
Goodbye to Chain.............

 

[ParaHandy]

and Lo, from the west
dressed in all their best
came three fine men
bearing gifts best forgotten
Chorus: hey ho an a lump of old iron ...
one offered his rusty cqr
but nay! it's all too queer
Chorus: hey ho an a lump of old iron
another offered his spade
jings! its goat a tartan plaid
Chorus: hey ho an a lump of old iron
the third did offer a bruce
which he painted green in a thrice
Chorus: hey ho an a lump of old iron

 

[[3889]]

Whilst anchoring's a must for me
There are some out there who seem to be
Only settled in marinas
Where their anchor is the cleanest.
So the moral of this ditty is
A grubby anchor is the biz.

 

[jhr]

Oh! My boat has no mast
But it goes very fast
‘Cos it’s powered by petrol and pistons
I can’t moor where it’s deep
‘Cos my anchor is cheap
And it offers but little resistance.

When I go on a jolly
I moor at the Folly,
But I never remain where I mean ter.
I drift back and forth
With my crappy Danforth
And terrorise half the Medina!

 

[Twister_Ken]

Itza grey
All day
Hard worker
No shirker
Got mud
And blood
Rust
And dust
Hates crabs
And dabs
And flounders
And bounders
Who say
"My God
How odd
It's cold
And old
That pick
Won't stick
In sand that's thick
And hard
They're barred
From modern boats
That sail like goats
A frozen snot
Made yacht
Needs a Spade
To aid
Parking
Sharking
Lunch-time larking
That old hook
Take a look
Autograph
(not 'arf)
By Walter Raleigh
Who once was pally
With Twister Ken
And other men
Who used tradition
To hold position
Off lee shores
And have just cause
To use antiques
Just like the Greeks
Who sail the Med
I've heard it said
With rebar hooks
And shifty looks
At charter yotties
In yoghurt potties"
Horny handed
Wallet banded
With seizing wire
I'll just fire
This short verse,
Which could be worse
At fashion *ankers
Who buy anchors
Twice a year
Instead of beer
Coz something late
Spozed to anchor great
Daft fools
Daft tools
They loose cash
The beach they bash
While crying "Fook
I've lost me hook"