O level in men for women/girlies

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So You Think You Know Men: O-Level for girlies

1 When a bloke says “that’s nice” about your appearance it means
a) he doesn’t care
b) he hates you
c) in his opinion, you look nice

2 You are navigating in the car whilst he drives. Did you get lost
a) on purpose
b) because you think that being useless will be endearing
c) because you are crap at navigating (be honest)

3 Your man decides to do some DIY. Do you
a) Go shopping, and tell him it’d better be tidy by the time you get back
b) Insist on helping, and hand him huge screwdrivers when he is fixing electronics, and tiny screwdrivers when he is fixing shelves.
c) Make cups of tea or coffee, and encouraging noises from time to time.

4 You suggest some fabulous but expensive cosmetic treatment . Your man says that it’s not necessary, and likes you as you are. Do you think that this means
a) he doesn’t care about you
b) he hates you
c) he likes you as you are.

5 Write a one-year capital expenditure plan for the purchase of new shoes. Justify this in the light of the fact that men hate Imelda Marcos and yet thought that Sandi Shaw was great.

6 Give three reasons why women always have to go to bed earlier than blokes. Also, that bit where you switch the light off just as he’s on the way upstairs – what’s that about?

7 He buys a new boat. During the first visit to the marina, which ONE of these phrases can you use?
Gosh, is it that really fabulous huge boat over there?
It’s a funny colour
I don’t like the name
It’s not really “new” if it’s secondhand, though, is it?
They haven’t even cleaned the shower!
The way it bobs about is a bit worrying isn’t it?
Do the engines have a full main dealer service history?
Is it BSS, Lloyd’s Part 1 (1988) and MCA approved?
But surely it’s guaranteed not to sink if it’s new?
The VHF licence is out of date.
Isn’t this one of the earlier ones with smaller engines?
Gosh darling it’s just wonderful.
 
paulineb

paulineb

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1c)
2b)
3a)
4c) I suppose. But there should be a fourth option. He's too mean.
5. I can't really attempt an expenditure plan for purchase of shoes, cos I rarely ask how much they cost. If I like them, I hand over the card. But in my defence, I don't buy a handbag to go with each new pair of shoes. And having said all that, I never wear shoes on the boat or around the marina, winter or summer. I never wear them round the house or to nip out to the car. I wear them for work, to got out and sometimes in bed.
6. Three reasons:
a) To try to get to sleep before the snoring starts
b) To read a book cos you're fed up with him channel surfing with the remote control all night. How can a bloke watch 6 programmes at the same time ?
c) To start without him, cos you know he's gonna catch up pretty quickly and more often than not, finish ahead.
Turning lights out ? - possible revenge for 6c)?

7. I don't like the name.

Hope Dr Boomer doesn't read this ;-)

Pxx
 
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Falcon71

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1. a) If he'd actually looked up from all the brochures he's brought back from the LBS, he would see that I'm looking terrible.

2. None, for some reason, I always seem to be the driver there, so he navigates, and having been driven there, you can always find how to get out again, and if for some reason I'm actually navigating, I've never got lost (except once finding Milton Keynes rugby club, but who wouldn't).

3. c. But why don't I get the same when doing DIY, men need an appreciative audience, we on the other hand just get on with it.

4. Same answer as PaulineB, and he doesn't actually get the concept of spending money on anything cosmetic, unless its for the boat.

5. I gave up smoking 20 years ago, and work on the principal that 'think of all the money I've saved over the years' to justify this expenditure, and as I hardly ever throw my shoes out, I'm fast catching Imelda up, we may have to move to accommodate, or I could probably send some on loan to a museum now. Actually, shoes was a very dangerous subject to get on to.... to keep it boaty, I have deck shoes in various stages of decrepitude, which I use at various times, and keep in various locations, and find I probably wear at least one pair, for a while, every day. Who has the oldest pair, still in use, I wonder.

6. 1. to get some reading in, currently Lord of the Rings
2. so I don't have to watch his rubbish
3. so I can watch my stuff

Lights out? Well, I enjoy hearing him stumble around quietly cursing of course.

7. Gosh darling it's wonderful - of course!!
 
D

Deleted User YDKXO

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Re: O level in women for men

> Subject: The 5 questions most feared by men
>
>
> The 5 questions most feared by men are:
> 1. What are you thinking about?
> 2. Do you love me?
> 3. Do I look fat in this?
> 4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
> 5. What would you do if I died?
>
> What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to
> explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e., tells
> the truth).
> Therefore, as a public service, each question is analysed below, along
> with possible responses.
>
> Question 1: What are you thinking about?
> The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been
> pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful,
> thoughtful,
> caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you."
> This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which
> most likely is one of the following:
> a. Football.
> b. Golf.
> c. How fat you are.
> d. How much prettier she is than you.
> e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.
> Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who
> once
> told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking
> to you!"
>
> Question 2: Do you love me?
> The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you feel a more detailed answer
> is in order, "Yes, dear." Inappropriate responses include:
> a. Oh Yeah, shit-loads.
> b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
> c. That depends on what you mean by love.
> d. Does it matter?
> e. Who, me?
>
> Question 3: Do I look fat?
> The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Among the incorrect
> answers are:
> a. Compared to what?
> b. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.
> c. A little extra weight looks good on you.
> d. I've seen fatter.
> e. Sorry what did you say ? I was just thinking about how I would spend
> the
> insurance money if you died.
>
> Question 4: Do you think she's prettier than me?
> Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!"
> Incorrect responses include:
> a. Yes, but you have a better personality
> b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner
> c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age
> d. Define pretty
> e. Sorry what did you say ? I was just thinking about how I would spend
> the
> insurance money if you died.
>
> Question 5: What would you do if I died?
> A definite no-win question.(The real answer, of course, is "Buy a Ferrari
> and
> a bigger boat").
> No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of
> follow-up questions, usually along these lines:
> WOMAN: Would you get married again?
> MAN: Definitely not!
> WOMAN: Why not - don't you like being married?
> MAN: Of course I do.
> WOMAN: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
> MAN: Okay, I'd get married again.
> WOMAN: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)
> MAN: (makes audible groan)
> WOMAN: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
> MAN: Where else would we sleep?
> WOMAN: Would you put away my pictures and replace them with pictures of
> her?
> MAN: That would seem like the proper thing to do.
> WOMAN: And would you let her use my golf clubs?
> MAN: She can't use them; she's left-handed.
> WOMAN: - - - silence - - -
> MAN: Shit
 
G

Guest

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Re: Very useful

Unfortunately, the women have invented some other answers to the multiple choice bit.
 
longjohnsilver

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Come on Dr Boomer, you've now had months of data to study and digest but still no profiling of the mad posters here. We still await with bated (whatever that means) breath.
 
boatone

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If you want to..........

.....show off then you really must get your facts right ToMo!
LJS's use of 'bated' is absolutely correct.
Although not really a cricket fan I'm sure the English team would be most upset to know that they're crap at taking the p... out of the opposition, lets face it..they've got to be good at something and as you should have said they aren't very good at batting......

TonyR - Europe uses OUR language - lets keep that GREAT at least

TonyR
boatone@boatsontheweb.com
 
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