Now if Ihad Tahiti Ketch

[Wansworth]

And then not tell anyone where it is.

Especially not on 'ere!

Hint: In among the thousands of islets off the Swedish east coast. The Swedes don't go there, 'cos it's too shallow and they can't be fussed wi' the RYA Secondary Ports Tide Heights rigmarole.... and the Russians run aground on the outer skerries where their embarassment shows up swiftly on prime time television.

You could also try your luck in among the thousands of islets off the western coast of Finland, but you'd be eaten alive by the trillions of little 'flying piranha' that infest that airspace.

Bognor itis then!

 

[Fr J Hackett]

Bognor itis then!

Bugger Bognor

 

[Blueboatman]

Bugger Bognor

Not a prerequisite afaik these days

But you would have to suffer Butlins