I woke up in the middle of the night sweating, palpitations and a deep sense of "oh dearie me!" the reason for this .. I'd swapped my lovely Oceanis 331 for a Rival 34.
Don't worry about it. The whole idea is too ludicrous to even contemplate. It was probably just a glimpse of how awful life could be under different circumstances.
.. it was seriously vivid, the Rival 34 had a red hull and had wind vane steering, its drawback was that the boom was at the top of the mast leading to problems when furling the main despite the lazy jack set up. In fact during my first attempt to drop the main I got caught by a gust and pitchpoled backwards. However it was well provided with radar reflectors as the boom was studded with them.