D3B
Well-Known Member
No aplologies ror multiple posting as i know a lot of you guys dont venture over to SB where i originally posted....
yottie friend gave me a book a while back which i have only just got round to reading. Lovely little book, if anyone wants it i can send it to you when finished as the intention was to pass a small library around to forumites.
The book is called "Lets Be Broad-Minded".
Jolly tale of sailing on the Broads. Written in 1948. This reprint 1965.
Chapter 7... this chapter gives some script then what the apology might be.....quite amusing .....
Navigation......
now I bet you've guessed where i am going
Page 58.
tacking
Let us suppose you see Coltishall, prettiest of all waterside villages, and that you are beating back with the wind dead ahead of you. You are not using your outboard because you enjoy a dead beat to windward in a narrow tree-lined river. There is, as a matter of fact, a good stiff breeze, and your method of progression takes the form of a series of zigzags across the river. This procedure is, for some reason, rather confusing for power-driven vessels which want to overtake you----not that you worry about that! They never seem to know where you're going to be at any given moment. (As if you were any wiser yourself). But the rule of the road is clear. "All craft under power should keep out of the way of sailing vessels." And secure in the knowledge that whatever you do you're right, you carry sublimely on with your zigzagging.
As you put your helm down hard you fail to notice the large motor-cruiser which is creeping up under your stern. He, of course, realises at once that he is in the wrong place, but he cant back away quickly enough and your bowsprit goes through his porthole.
the apology
"Why dont you look where you're going in your great big clumsy Noah's Ark, you? What time do you feed the animals? I shall lodge a protest. Never mind where---I shall lodge one. Just push my bowsprit out of your window at once. Someone seems to have hung a towel on it. Yes. it may be in your bathroom , but there's no need to use it as a towel-rail. Thank you---now please give me room to manoeuvre. Never mind which way--- I'll decide that when I see which way we seem to be going....."
I've read this piece a dozen times now and still tickles me
yottie friend gave me a book a while back which i have only just got round to reading. Lovely little book, if anyone wants it i can send it to you when finished as the intention was to pass a small library around to forumites.
The book is called "Lets Be Broad-Minded".
Jolly tale of sailing on the Broads. Written in 1948. This reprint 1965.
Chapter 7... this chapter gives some script then what the apology might be.....quite amusing .....
Navigation......
now I bet you've guessed where i am going
Page 58.
tacking
Let us suppose you see Coltishall, prettiest of all waterside villages, and that you are beating back with the wind dead ahead of you. You are not using your outboard because you enjoy a dead beat to windward in a narrow tree-lined river. There is, as a matter of fact, a good stiff breeze, and your method of progression takes the form of a series of zigzags across the river. This procedure is, for some reason, rather confusing for power-driven vessels which want to overtake you----not that you worry about that! They never seem to know where you're going to be at any given moment. (As if you were any wiser yourself). But the rule of the road is clear. "All craft under power should keep out of the way of sailing vessels." And secure in the knowledge that whatever you do you're right, you carry sublimely on with your zigzagging.
As you put your helm down hard you fail to notice the large motor-cruiser which is creeping up under your stern. He, of course, realises at once that he is in the wrong place, but he cant back away quickly enough and your bowsprit goes through his porthole.
the apology
"Why dont you look where you're going in your great big clumsy Noah's Ark, you? What time do you feed the animals? I shall lodge a protest. Never mind where---I shall lodge one. Just push my bowsprit out of your window at once. Someone seems to have hung a towel on it. Yes. it may be in your bathroom , but there's no need to use it as a towel-rail. Thank you---now please give me room to manoeuvre. Never mind which way--- I'll decide that when I see which way we seem to be going....."
I've read this piece a dozen times now and still tickles me
