PGD
Well-Known Member
My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. He was pulled in by a strong currant.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
A man came round in hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off".
A man walks into a pub, and notices Vincent Van Gogh is
standing at the bar. "Do you want a pint, Vince?" he asks.
"No, thanks," replies the artist. "I've got one 'ere."
I went to a seafood disco last week.... and pulled a mussel.
A man walks into doctor's office.
"What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc.
"It's... um... well... I have five penises." replies the man.
"Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?"
"Like a glove."
Did you hear about the magic tractor?
It went down the lane and turned in to a field.
A brain and a jump lead go into a pub and order some drinks.
The barman says "I'm not serving you two!"
"Why?" asked the brain
The barman replies, "Because you are out of your skull and he is
bound to start something."
Answer phone message
"....If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...."
What do you give a cannibal who is late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
Did you hear about the dyslexic alcoholic?
He choked on his own vimto.
A woman arrives at a bank with a fifty pound note stuck in each ear and asks to see the manager.
The cashier steps through to the managers office:
"There's a woman to see you, she's £100 in arrears."
Where does Saddam Hussein keep his CD's? In Iraq
Not everything is black and white if you prove otherwise you’ll get run over on a zebra crossing
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
A man came round in hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off".
A man walks into a pub, and notices Vincent Van Gogh is
standing at the bar. "Do you want a pint, Vince?" he asks.
"No, thanks," replies the artist. "I've got one 'ere."
I went to a seafood disco last week.... and pulled a mussel.
A man walks into doctor's office.
"What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc.
"It's... um... well... I have five penises." replies the man.
"Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?"
"Like a glove."
Did you hear about the magic tractor?
It went down the lane and turned in to a field.
A brain and a jump lead go into a pub and order some drinks.
The barman says "I'm not serving you two!"
"Why?" asked the brain
The barman replies, "Because you are out of your skull and he is
bound to start something."
Answer phone message
"....If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...."
What do you give a cannibal who is late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
Did you hear about the dyslexic alcoholic?
He choked on his own vimto.
A woman arrives at a bank with a fifty pound note stuck in each ear and asks to see the manager.
The cashier steps through to the managers office:
"There's a woman to see you, she's £100 in arrears."
Where does Saddam Hussein keep his CD's? In Iraq
Not everything is black and white if you prove otherwise you’ll get run over on a zebra crossing
